Secrets of a Tee Time Girl

We’ve seen no shortage of apocalyptic signs. The Golf Channel’s “Big Break 2.” The Ryder Cup Opening Ceremony.

But it may be time to add multiple points to the Rapture Index. As Matt Paulson reports on badgolfer.com, the forthcoming “Secrets of a Tee Time Girl, is “perhaps the first golf book written from a beverage cart girl's perspective.”

Can’t imagine why.

Paulson says that author Nicole Kallis, a beverage cart girl at Mt. Woodson Golf Club in San Diego, “frequently moves from first person into second in a successful, flirtatious attempt to make the reader truly feel as if she is talking directly to him. She makes him feel individual, special, as good cart girls have the unique, albeit heart-breaking, ability to do.”

Paulson also writes that Kallis employs “a few satisfying regressions into tongue-in-cheek innuendo, which comes out, among other times, when she's talking about the oversized drivers in the pro shop: ‘In my opinion, of course, the 300 series is big enough, but then I prefer a smaller head size.’ This occasional employment of quick wit acts as a representative ‘callin'-you-out’ rebuttal to every chauvinistic good old boy that has ever spewed a lewd comment to the beverage cart girl. (Guilty). It provides a fine balance with the fun-loving, flirtatious mood prevalent in most of the chapters.”

However, Paulson writes, “experienced golfers may have with the book comes with Kallis' admitted working knowledge with the game, which is exemplified by her reference to Steve Ballesteros.”