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« Good, But Not Yet Norman | Main | "LPGA Playoff" vs. "PGA Tour Playoffs" »
Wednesday
Nov082006

IM'ing With The Commissioners III

My NSA sources have been tied up with the elections and all, but they did forward this IM exchange between Commissioner Tim Finchem and Carolyn Bivens yesterday. Previous exchanges between these two can be read here and here.

twfPGATour©: Carolyn. Are you there?

DaBrandLady: sup twf?

twfPGATour©: Oh doing fine here, I suppose.

DaBrandLady: yeah I saw the brand resurgence took a hit last week.

twfPGATour©: Yes, lots of surprises last week at the TOUR Championship Presented by Coca Cola. First Pernice, then Azinger. I'm still shocked by their tone toward me.

DaBrandLady: oh I was thinking of tiger and phil not playing.

twfPGATour©: Right, well that too. Though we feel that their absence only reinforces the coalescence of the 2007 platform as both a coterminous and real brand force that alleviates certain scheduling permutations.

DaBrandLady: can i use that line?

twfPGATour©: I'll have to check with our legal people.

DaBrandLady:well i'd like to because i have to deal with press about annika and karrie skipping the tournament of champions.

twfPGATour©: Oh? When is that?

DaBrandLady: actually it's this week.

twfPGATour©: Right, of course. Is Wie playing?

DaBrandLady: it's the tournament of champions tim!

twfPGATour©: And she hasn't won yet, correct? 

DaBrandLady: uh no, tim

twfPGATour©: Sorry, I haven't been keeping up.  It's been hectic around here. I had to hire Ross Berlin back. Tough negotiation that was. But I kept him under $500,000 for the first year. The Viking people, our new sponsors in Mississippi, kicked in a new range for the house we're putting him up in.

DaBrandLady: wow, poor ross. even I make $500,000, which isn't much, but  enough to make the board think twice about buying out the last two years of my contract! lololololol :):):):)

twfPGATour©: Say Carolyn, I was actually Instant Messaging for a reason.

DaBrandLady: and that was?

twfPGATour©: Well I don't know if you heard Azinger's attack on my personal and business brands last Thursday during the ESPN on ABC telecast on ESPN? Or wait, that was just ESPN on ESPN. Anyhow, he suggested we needed to hire a personal branding coach for the players.

DaBrandLady: hey, i can finally help you!

twfPGATour©: My thought exactly. You signed someone earlier this year?

DaBrandLady: oh person-centered branding is great. best of all they're in beverly hills, so maybe you and susie can get a weekend trip to rodeo drive out of it.

twfPGATour©: Right. Well, I'm not sure Susie and I would use them for our own branding work. But for the players, perhaps. We've had great success with our recent branding campaign.

DaBrandLady: yes i've seen those ads where chad campbell takes pride in being totally uninteresting. very nice positioning with the red state 50-79 pickup truck driving demo.

twfPGATour©: Yes, we're very pleased with those spots, Chad comes off so non-threatening and pathetic, I mean, sympathetic. But I still think we can do more, as much as I hate to give Azinger any credit. Especially since he had trouble finding his shaver last week. I wonder what a brand coach would say about that?

DaBrandLady: well tim, i'm proud of you for reaching out like this. player branding is really the future of our world. tailoring a brand focused campaign will do wonders for your metrics.

twfPGATour©: Well thanks for emailing that information Carolyn. And give my best to, to, uh...

DaBrandLady: he says hi back!

twfPGATour©: Bye.

DaBrandLady: bye! :):):):)
 

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Reader Comments (5)

Very funny, and unfortunately, right on the mark. Two people in high places who don't have a clue.
11.8.2006 | Unregistered CommenterFour-putt
I don't think its funny and doesn't have a point.
11.9.2006 | Unregistered CommenterBob
I quite enjoy these exchanges, good satire is hard to find these days...
11.9.2006 | Unregistered CommenterBCD
Bob, if you don't find this funny, your benchmarking must be off.
11.9.2006 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor
Absolute gold Geoff. Absolute gold.
11.9.2006 | Unregistered CommenterHux

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