"Out of nowhere, golf's very own snapping turtle has slipped into pole position to be named Europe's next Ryder Cup captain."

Vincent Hogan with a beautiful summation of the Monty-Ryder Cup captaincy ordeal:

As news stories go, this is a bit like Worzel Gummidge getting the chief MC gig for Milan Fashion Week.

'Monty', by the way, is one of this column's favourite people. He goes through life like someone with endless bone spurs in his neck, perpetually sore feet, looming migraine and the love-sick devotion of a fan whose camera shutter is louder than John Daly on a binge. No man cherishes a grudge more deeply, no one gives the impression of liking people less.

And yet I cannot think of anyone I'd prefer to see win a Major in 2009, outside -- of course -- of an Irishman.