"Golfing with family"
This little infomercial-article on PGATour.com is a nice reminder how golf coverage will look when PGATour.com is the only source for editorial content. In this case, as supplied by an official partner.
Note the seamless transition from the last instruction tip about taking the kids to see a pro event, followed by the partner message. You just don't get segues like this anymore.
Take them to an event -- Nothing is more inspiring to a golfer than seeing the very best players play at an elite level. The next time a pro tour comes to your town, take them to see a round so that you can experience it together. This will give you an opportunity to help explain the rules to them as well as how to develop strategies to play a hole. Even watching a round on television will allow you the opportunity to coach them in addition to developing a wonderful hobby together.
Golfing with your family can greatly enhance your love for the game. Do not let knee pain sour you on a great sport. If knee pain is preventing you from performing at your best, you might be suffering from osteoarthritis (OA) of the knee. Various treatments for OA do exist, such as ORTHOVISC®, which provides up to six months of knee pain relief. Made from ultra-pure natural hyaluronan, which is found in healthy joints, ORTHOVISC® is injected into the knee joint where it acts to replace your natural joint fluid, to help cushion, protect, and lubricate your knee.
While finding "Golfing with family" to be an informative piece of instruction literature, I managed to obtain an early draft that was a little more to the point:
You use golf as a way to spend time with friends, whittle away your income on new equipment and in general avoid spending time with your children. You might even have used it as a way to spend time with important clients if you hadn't gotten fired for downloading pirated music files that introduced a virus to the company server. It stands to reason that you can also play golf as a way to spend quality time with the most important people in your life, your drinking buddies. Or maybe your family. Here are a few suggestions to ensure that the familial golfing experience allows everyone to come out a whiner.
Start on the range -- While the temptation is to take the family right out on the course, the driving range offers a low-pressure environment for the kids to be left behind while you get in a quick nine. Your wife won't be nagging to press-the-press and the kids won't be playing with loose pocket change during your five-point pre-shot routine. For a change, try not to focus on your own swing at the range like the narcissist you are. Devote your attention to family the same way you would if it were a Little League game or if the kids were standing around near your helium-filled weather balloon. You would not grab a phone to call a 911 operator and insist your child had flown off setting off national media coverage, so don't do that here on the range.
Enlist an instructor -- It might be easier for your family (and for you) if they initially take instruction from a professional, and not a fool like you. If you are constantly telling your family what to do, how to do it, and when to do it, they can grow weary of the sport, of you, and of life in general. Hiring an instructor also provides you the opportunity to work with an expert when you may not have hired one because your ego wouldn't allow it.
Pick the right course -- Once everyone feels they are ready to take the game to a real course, it is crucial to pick a place that will you the best chance to beat the little kids. The ideal place for novices to start is a pitch and putt course, if they haven't all gone out of business by the time you read this. These courses usually consist of nine holes, many of which, unfortunately for the equipment industry, only require a 9-iron, a wedge, a putter to play and a surly guy behind the counter. By shortening the time and distance of this first round, it will lessen the frustration for your children of having to spend time with you as they are beginning to learn the game.
Take them to an event -- Nothing is more inspiring to a golfer than seeing the very best players play at an elite level. The next time a pro tour comes to your town, talk to your bank officer about a low fixed rate mortgage and take them to see a round so that you can experience it together. A loan will give you an opportunity to visit a large, alcohol-fueled tent called the Trophy or Champions Club, where television screens will show the family situations that let you explain the rules to them as well as how to develop strategies to play a hole, all while you are able to enjoy $10 mango martinis.
Golfing with your family can greatly enhance your love for the game and cause assorted injuries to flair up, both imagined-to-get-you-out-of-an-encore, and painfully real. Do not let knee injuries sour you on a great sport. If knee pain is preventing you from performing at your best, you might be suffering from osteoarthritis (OA) of the knee. Various treatments for OA do exist, such as ORTHOVISC®, which provides up to six months of knee pain relief. Made from ultra-pure natural hyaluronan, which is found in healthy joints and particularly large and endangered hammerhead sharks. ORTHOVISC® is injected into the knee joint where it acts to replace your natural joint fluid and helps cushion, protect, and lubricate your knee after you tweak it looking for little Joey's ball in the environmentally sensitive hazard.
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 07:40 PM
Reader Comments (21)
Football Player...plays football
Basketball Player...plays basketball
Hunter...hunts
Swimmer...swims
Runner...runs
Golfer...???
Children can't be raised without Dr Spock or any of the other thousands of "experts' " books. Only teachers are capable of teaching children how to read, write, or do arithmetic. We have become a world of idiots who have to rely on published "experts" to give us common sense advice.
The people at the PGA Tour look as if they are prepared to reinvent the concept of cobranding all over again, including a recapitulation all of the classic mistakes.
People reflexively blame the economy for the PGA Tour's current problems. IMO, the economy has mostly exacerbated underlying structural problems throughout their entire business model.
http://www.stanfordfinancial.com/
golf.
One may either "play golf" (the phrase dates from ca. 1575) or simply "golf" (ca. 1800) -- that is, "golf" can be a verb as well as a noun. Most golfers use the older phrasing and say that they "play golf" {I'll be playing golf on Saturday}, whereas nowadays nongolfers tend to be the ones who use "golf" as a verb {she'll be golfing on Saturday}. In modern print sources, "played golf" is 20 times as common as "golfed."
Writers on golf often disparage the verb "golf" as symptomatic of linguistic dufferdom -- e.g.: "If you call yourself a golfer, you never use 'golf' as a verb. You never say 'We went "golfing."' 'Golf' to a golfer is a noun. A guy tells you he 'golfs,' and you know he's clueless." David Burgin, "A True Olympian's Golden Review," S.F. Examiner, 14 June 1998, at D18.
Another writer refers mockingly to "the unwashed who think the word 'golf' and its derivatives can be used as verbs ('Hey, Ralph, ya wanna go golfing tomorrow?' 'Nah, Jim, I golfed yesterday')." David Climer, "Senior Tour Isn't Aging Very Nicely," Tennessean, 20 July 1999, at Cl.
If you're serious about golf and writing, stick to the noun uses of "golf." That will never tee off anyone.
But the part about taking the kids to a Tour event is silly, at least the big tour. Here in the DC area, we have two male events (the Tiger event and a Nationwide event). The Tiger event is a zoo full of non-golfing types who want to crowd around the few names that are known outside of golfing circles. The Nationwide event, by contrast is better place to take kids. The golf is nearly as good, and the smaller crowds mean its possible to 1) sit in one spot unmolested for a long time or 2) follow a group without running ahead 3 holes. And, as an added benefit, the players are more personable. If you say "good shot", the player might look up and say "thank you" because you're the only one there.
Kids love that kind of stuff. I would only take the kids to the Tiger event if they asked specifically to go see Tiger.
And ask Junior to tuck in his shirt.
It drives me nuts when people say "golfing". I won't put my spin on the subject since you did such an excellent job.
Everyone, spread the word, tell you friends, educate the uneducated, but always in a congenial manner to not sound pretentious or to be offensive.
Salud
God, this branding stuff baffles me...
"ORTHOVISC® is for patients who do not get adequate pain relief from simple pain relievers like acetaminophen...common side effects include joint pain, back pain, headaches..."
The pain reliever that brings more pain. Sounds like quite the wonder drug.
Or pedantic.
Come on PGATour, you guys are crass.
Jordan, I'll be honest, I rarely if ever use golf as a verb. Nevertheless, I think derision of it (especially since either usage is technically correct) is one of the most pointless conceits of which I've heard. And it is one which would not do a terribly good job of separating the "real" golfers from the "unreal" (?) golfers.
Lasty, Reverend T,
I'd only make the kissy face at you, but I'm guessing I wouldn't need any Cialis if you know what I mean! ;)
The distinction is between golfers and nongolfers. Not real and unreal. Thus, whoever wrote that drivel for the Tour obviously doesn't play golf.
Pedantic? That's a mighty big word for you isn't it?