"The tortoise backed off a chip so often you felt your life flashing before you"

Don't miss Derek Lawrenson's entertaining European Open game story on Christian Cevaer's painfully slow win on an even painfully worse setup.

What a curious event this was, where the seven-under par winning score was exactly the same as the leading figure on day one, despite the fact the last three rounds were played out in glorious sunshine; where the winner returned a score of 74 and had one birdie on his card.

Why? With the fairways narrowed, they became just too hard and bouncy for anyone to hold in the testing breeze, with the consequence that the day’s proceedings became something of a lottery.