David Feherty Declares His Slightly Creepy Love For Tiger

Talk about a bromance...Feherty's Golf Magazine column continues its downward spiral trajectory. But at least this month's kind of makes sense, unlike the last one.

Goddammit, all right! I miss the useless bastard—there, I've written it! I miss the different noise he makes when he hits one harder, I miss all the crap that comes out of the ground when he's buried in the rough, I miss the twirl of the club and the little leg kick he makes after the shots he and I both know are going to end up stitched to the damned flag, I miss the sarcastic rim shots he mumbles at me with the bill of his cap down so the camera can't pick them up, and yes, I miss seeing the unbearably beautiful Elin too, bless the loveliness of her face and the sweetness of her heart. Holy crap, I think I even miss Stevie Williams! What the hell is wrong with me? Screw everyone else, this is a personal disaster! Can't we all just buy the world a Coke and move on?

Comments

[Ky Laffoon's Ghost]

It is indeed more coherent than the last, but I think David meant to write "his Woodyness" instead of "his Woodsness". But what I really want to know is what Major General (Ret.) Sir Richard Gussett* of Scrought's Wood (there's that word again) thinks of all of this. How about addressing that next month, Mr. Feherty?

*aka Uncle Dickie in "A Nasty Bit of Rough" (2002).

[Pickworth]

There are some nice images in that rant. I especially like 'the crap that comes out of the ground'.

But...you are right, it does have a feel of a last waltz on the deck as the ship goes down. The celebrity persona is a difficult frontier to traverse when the supply chain is interrupted for whatever reason. And to make sure this metaphor stays mixed it's also like a fart in a strong wind.

[Justin]

Go ahead and crucify me, I don't care- Feherty absolutely blows. No, it's not the accent, it's the stupid things he writes about. There was one article about an injured soldier who got to walk down the 18th fairway with Woods (again, another Tiger article) which was pretty good; other than that, they're all useless drivel.

[Dr. Phillips]

So where do we stand on the issues of:

1. Tiger won't play again this year.

2. Tiger has to completely disband his team

3. Elin has to cut Tiger loose

4. Tiger doesn't have the "power" over his opponents anymore

5. Tiger will never win another major

Fred, want to make me and tlavin an offer to buy out at less than 20-1?

[Dr. Phillips]

And Justin, I'm with you, Feherty's act has worn thin. In the beginning it was spontaneous and fun but like McCrord his schtick has become contrived and strained...

[Stephen]

Last article he wrote, I thought he was drinking. I apologise. I was wrong.
He's doing "P".

[Dave Dawdle]

One of the best things that happened to us Brits was when Feherty moved permanently to the USA. He is a total pain in the neck. You are welcome to him - I thank SKY TV (and I didn't think I would ever utter those words) that we don't have to suffer his so-called wit on more than an occasional basis. He and and his "pal" Tiger make a well-matched pair. And yet, what a great bloke he was when he was playing over here, pleasant, well mannered etc - what or earth happened to him?

[Miss Priss!]

I'm looking forward to Feherty's final piece ... about when he and Tiger make love!

[pitman55]

The only thing worse than Feherty TRYING to be funny in his columns is listening to Feherty TRYING to be funny on CBS..

[Old Hornet]

The last bicycle accident may have taken it's toll. Not sure if it's a synapse malfunction, or degradation due to hero worship ?

[Wisconsin Reader]

We seem to be an especially tough audience today. . . Agreed that Feherty (and McCord) do strain a bit occasionally to inject some humor and actual enthusiasm into golf telecasts. . .But, I offer that we should at least give them credit for trying. . . How much monotone descriptive commentary like: "just a little short" do we have to endure - since we were watching that putt on television too? . . . I - for one - would rather groan at a bad Feherty or McCord line as a small price to pay - for they both often produce information - and humor - that is simply not done by anyone else.

[jjshaka]

Saw Feherty on ESPN yesterday.
While giving him kudos for his support of the troops, everything he said about Tiger was a cry for an intervention .
He has completely gone off the deep end- granted, given his past history, it's not a long fall.

[Chuck]

There is an explanation.
In order to better understand Tiger, Mr. Feherty has been using Ambien and Vicodin to help him write his last several columns.

[Miss Priss!]

Well ... Wisconsin Reader ... I'm all for our golf buddies talking while we putt and hit. I don't honestly think it could make the results any worse! And as for being an especially tough audience today? I think it's every day!

[Claude]

When did everyone decide to hate David Feherty?
I generally look forward to his observations. He deserves a lot of credit for being something other than just another beige-toned walking nobody.

[Ky Laffoon's Ghost]

Claude: "Hate" is much too strong, but there is this, which wasn't even a little bit funny:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stu-kreisman/david-fehertys-triple-bog_b_201756.html

[The Q]

I agree with WR, I thnk we are being a little too harsh on Mr. Feherty.

I generally like DF and McCord's commentary and I wish they could get Zinger to team up with Faldo again.

This would liven up CBS's coverage considerably.

P.S. I was hoping that when TW returns, he would channel a little Phil and perhaps mingle/acknowledge the crowds, but alas, me thinks it will be the same old TW, with even more focus and less interaction with the crowds..

[Frank]

Feherty's had nose-lash on more than one occasion.

[sir real]

Glad to see so many step up to call the "F- bomb" on the troubled man status. I've always thought he tried WWAAAAYYYY to hard to be funny. A c-student in the comedy department...decent player...but come on David get some help and you'll find your center. I'm praying for him.

[Rupert]

I'm glad you asked the question, Claude. It seems that whichever side of the issue the first poster takes the rest just jump on board. I happen to think Feherty is funny but whether you think the guy is funny or not let's take it easy. It's just golf.

[Arthur Epps]

Way to go Feherty with you taking the Lord's name in vain. Way to go, Shackelford with posting it on your website. Where is the civility that once caused respect and consideration for others. I happen to like Feherty as I enjoy listening to him on golf telecasts and on The Ticket radio station here in Dallas. But, why the cussing? Davis, why is this acceptable and where did you inform yourself that this is acceptable to use in your writings. Saying all of this, if Feherty stopped being a public figure, it'd do us, and him, more than a bit of good -- he's become an almost ridiculous parody of himself; someone that always always always has to be "on" and funny. This is very tiring for him, I'm sure. Give it a rest David if this article is the best you can do. Go away for a bit and come back when you're rested and ready to write using language that's acceptable to all generations and to those who love the Lord. Shame on you Shackelford for allowing this on your website.

[clgroc]

feherty is anti-troop he only acts pro-troops for his image...