There's much fun in the 2011 PGA Tour Form 990s fine print now posted at your favorite non-profit watchdog site. (I like Guidestar.)
The people doing the posting must get a big giggle at 41% raise Commissioner Tim Finchem enjoyed in 2011, putting him over $7 million in annual compensation and $50 million in lifetime earnings assuming '12 was similar, placing him fifth behind Furyk and one spot ahead of Ernie!
Then there was the 38% raise for the EVP Drones Club (but just a measly 24% bump for Ty!?). Or there was the $24 million in operating losses ascribable in large part to the TPC Network. And then there was...oh, forget it.
Anyway, here's a fun one for when Commish Benedict boards Tour Air I this week for San Diego to chat with the USGA Executive Committee at its annual meeting. Some of the language on page 71 of the 104-page Form 990 should get the rulesmakers' attention when Finchem's droning on about possible exceptions to the anchoring ban:
FORM 990, PART III - PROGRAM SERVICE, LINE 4C PGA TOUR, INC.
INCLUDES AS PART OF ITS MISSION STATEMENT THE DEDICATION TO PROTECT THE INTEGRITY OF THE GAME OF PROFESSIONAL GOLF. THE TOURING PROFESSIONAL GOLFER HAS AN UNWAVERING ADHERENCE TO GOLF'S INHERENT VALUES, SUCH AS HONESTY, INTEGRITY AND SPORTSMANSHIP.
And we know that because no one ever gets fined or suspended. As far as we know.
GOLF IS A SPORT IN WHICH PLAYERS CALL PENALTIES ON THEMSELVES, WHETHER AN INFRACTION IS VISIBLE TO-OTHERS OR NOT.
If I could, I'd set this to Randy Newman's Roy Hobbs home run scene composition.
Go on, ALL CAPS...
IT IS A SPORT IN WHICH COMPETITORS SHAKE HANDS AND CONGRATULATE ONE ANOTHER AT THE CONCLUSION OF EACH AND EVERY ROUND, TOURNAMENT OR MATCH, WITHOUT FAIL.
Hey all caps, you left out the part where they take their hats off, too. The IRS needs to know that.
IT IS ALSO A SPORT THAT FAITHFULLY TEACHES EACH GENERATION OF PARTICIPANTS FROM THE EARLIEST AGE THAT ITS RULES ARE UNCOMPROMISABLE.
Uncompromisable! That's kind of, gulp, impactful in the context of the whole bifurcation discussion, no?
THESE ARE VALUES THAT PGA TOUR, INC.'S TOURING PROFESSIONAL GOLFERS LIVE BY AND DEMONSTRATE EVERY ROUND OF EVERY TOURNAMENT.
Who knew a Form 990 could be so maudlin?