This Guy Rocks!

I often find myself concerned that our friends outside the United States are missing out on the wonderful world of MBA/marketingspeak.

Then I read stories like this one courtesy of reader Graeme that nourish the soul.

Because as Martin Blake shows us in The Age, true leadership has made it to golf in Australia. Look out Ponte Vedra and wherever in the world the LPGA headquarters is located, because Paul McNamee is going to give Commissioner's Finchem and Bivens a run...for their inanity.

Paul McNamee has taken the reins of the Australian Open golf championships — both men's and women's tournaments — with a warning about unrealistic expectations.

McNamee, who has signed a three-year contract as executive chairman of the Open, says the notion that the men's tournament can become the "fifth major" is rubbish.

Ah, you're thinking, I like this guy. Here's the first sign of trouble.

McNamee confronted a similar malaise when he took over the running of the Australian Open tennis 12 years ago, although he made one distinction yesterday. "In brand development yes (it's similar), but there's one very important difference we should never forget. It (the Open golf) is not a major. It's not going to be a fifth major. But in brand development I do see similarities."

Brand development. Remember that Ponte Vedra. You can platform and re-contextualize it all you want, but never forget your brand development. And how does McNamee envision his brand development?

One of the methods he intends using is adding music as part of the entertainment package. "What I'd like to see is the Australian players feel they're really now being put on a pedestal and that the event really rocks. Once you do start selling tickets to the general public you are in the entertainment industry."

Adding music? Really rocks? Hey wait, the LPGA already has first dibs on rocks.

So I wonder, when he says rocks, does McNamee envision something like Al Czervik cranking up the volume to Journey's Any Way You Like It?

As for the intensely unpopular Moonah Links, McNamee really shows why he's fit to be running major golf events. Yes, that's right, you are no one in golf until you have a raging conflict of interest, and McNamee passes with flying colors!

This year's Australian Open is at Royal Sydney from November 16-19, but McNamee will soon have to confront the fact that Golf Australia has a contract to play the tournament three out of every five years at Moonah Links, a venue that has attracted savage criticism from Australian players. It is complicated by the fact that he is an investor in Moonah Links, giving him a clear conflict of interest that drew a laugh from him yesterday.

"You have to respect the contracts are in place," he said. "Whatever it is, it is."

No, you have to respect that a man has taken 2004's sports cliche of the year--it is what it is--and given it a gritty, post-modern Yogi Berra edge.

Whatever it is, it is!

And don't forget Paul, until it's done, it's not done.

The Big Bang

For over a year now flogging (or Tigerball) has been a much-debated topic on this site and written about on Golfobserver.com, so it was nice to see the Golf World cover story on this radical new approach that younger players are taking.

Ryan Herrington and Tim Rosaforte explore the concept with excellent sidebar support from Dave Shedloski, Matthew Rudy and E. Michael Johnson, focusing on the how the players are able to power the ball via equipment and improved physical conditioning (though in lumping J.B. Holmes in here, they appeared to ignore his comments earlier this year that suggest physical conditioning has little to do with his prodigious length).

The main story is a solid overview with several interesting anecdotes. Though I was disappointed that they didn't explore the role that course setup may be playing in all of this. (The narrower they get, the more pointless it becomes to worry about hitting it in the short grass...).

Loved this from Bubba Watson:

My goal is to hit it inside the white stakes. No matter where it is, fairway, in the trees, as long as I have a swing [I'm happy].

More worth your time is Herrington's blog post on the story. He looks at who in college golf will be the next wave of floggers ("big bangers" just doesn't quite work).

He includes more comments from a coach quoted in the story who talks about the mindset of younger players:  

 “A lot of people look around and say, ‘that’s really different,’ ” says Georgia Tech coach Bruce Heppler. “Well, not to [them] it’s not. It’s second nature. [They've] done it [their] whole life.

“It’s just crank it on down there and deal with it,” he continued. “Because I think they feel like short shots, no matter how hard they are, they’re really not that hard any more. You heard growing up ‘Don’t get that in between yardage. Don’t get that finesse shot.’ Well they laugh at that now. There are no hard shots if you know what you’re doing. They’ve figured out how to get it up and down and how to hit the flop and how much better the wedge is. How much more spin … now you’re reading you can get too much spin. So there are no hard shots if you know what you’re doing. So it just becomes an absolute birdie fest.”

“I think it’s a culture. Guys just play different. I mean I can go up and down my team and it’s little guys and it’s big guys. To see where we play from … that’s one thing about being at a place where you play the same place all the time. We’ve been at Golf Club [of Georgia] for eight years, nine years now. I can’t tell you how different it is. There were par 5s initially they didn’t go for. And longer par 4s now that they just try to knock it on, shorter ones now. Or just get it up there around the green and get it out of the bunker rather than with a wedge.”

And Herrington ends his post with this:

One last point … this philosophy of play in many respects is much like baseball catering to home runs and basketball evolving into dunk contests. Yet while people dig the long ball, that doesn’t mean it’s good for the game. Just as each of the coaches said that the Big Bang theory is practiced in college golf, they all each lamented this fact, longing for the time when shot-making was still important. I have to say I agree with them. By becoming infatuated with distance, players aren’t necessarily better, just longer.

Oh boy, another one to the add to the converted list. This media bias is contagious! 

Tour Pension Numbers

Andrew Both writes:

At a meeting hosted by commissioner Tim Finchem last week, players were given some examples of their projected retirement payouts.

For example, a 2006 rookie who has a Fred Couples-type career - more than 20 very successful years on tour - can expect to receive a pension of about $247 million, according to the tour's figures.

OK, you say, but not many players have as good a career as Couples. True, but consider the case of a player who has a Don Pooley-like career, 20 years on tour averaging about 75th on the money list. He can expect a payout of about $142 million, not bad for a so-called journeyman.

Of course, these figures, provided to SportsTicker by a player at the meeting, are only projections, educated guesses at best, but even if they are grossly overstated, the tour's bottom feeders will still be very well taken care of barring a major long-term economic catastrophe.

Some of the newer tour members were flabbergasted to learn these figures, and there are skeptics who doubt their accuracy.

"Where is this money coming from?" asked one insider. "You're talking billions of dollars. Are these guys smarter than every other investor in the world? If a journeyman stands to get that sort of money, how much can Tiger expect?"

It seems the key to receiving a massive pension is longevity, keeping your job for a decade or more, even if you never win. And you thought it was all about the trophies.

Sean, try to keep the posts to 500 words or less!  And thanks to reader Noonan for this story.

The First Green Jacket

From Larry Stewart in the L.A. Times, writing about 60 Minutes producer Rick Schwartz:

Schwartz and a camera crew visited Earl's home in Cypress, as well as the home of Woods' mother, Kultida, in Tustin Ranch. After the crew was done shooting in Tustin, Kultida invited Schwartz in for lemonade and showed him her shrine to her son — pictures, trophies and lots of memorabilia.

"One picture stood out," Schwartz said. "It was of Tiger the night he won his first Masters. He was curled up in bed in a rented Augusta house, sound asleep, arms wrapped tightly around his first green jacket.

"I asked if I could bring our cameraman in just to shoot that one picture. Kultida smiled and said there was more of a chance of me winning the Masters."

Masters Field Is Set

Sabbatini, Ames and Oberholser are the last three to qualify...

Trial Balloon

Watching players struggle with 6-8 inch rough at TPC Sawgrass that Tiger Woods took issue with because it compromised Pete Dye's design concept, I couldn't help but wonder what will happen when a player is injured by such a setup tactic.

Imagine an injured wrist, elbow or shoulder caused by rough that was harvested to take driver out of the players hands. And why? Because players might make a few too many birdies and hit 350-yard drives, causing people to notice that the game is out of balance.

Readers of The Future of Golf know that I wrote about the possibility of a player someday suing a governing body over a Meeks-like setup boondoggle, but I think injury is going to come first.

If a player is injured trying to hit out of ankle high, over-fertilized rough watered differently than fairways, will this be shrugged off as a "rub of the green," "that's the risk they take" situation? 

With the USGA's David Fay suggesting at last year's SI Roundtable that he would like to see 8 inch rough heights for shorter holes like Winged Foot's 6th, it seems that the anti-birdie, anti-distance rough is going to be coming to major championship golf. Inevitably someone will get hurt.

How absurd is that?

Hansen On Treviso Bay

Tom Hansen writes about the latest Florida TPC course at Treviso Bay:

Gray leans over his dusty, green Land Rover and expands the rolled-up drawings. [Arthur] Hills and [Hal] Sutton have already collaborated on the layout of the course. They used aerial photos to create the potential masterpiece.

That's a new one...I wonder if they've ever met?

Gray explains that the 1,050-acre project is actually four parcels of land. One parcel, called B, won't be developed for several years.

"People don't realize how big this development is," he said.

The 7,200-yard course will occupy the south end of the project. It stretches almost to State Road 951. The golf course will be separated from most of the housing development by the wetlands. Only 40 estate sites will be for sale on the golf course.

"It's going to be pretty core golf," Gray said.

We had core golf, now we have "pretty core."

Kaufman On OGA

In the March 25 issue, Golfweek's assistant managing editor and business writer Martin Kaufman felt compelled to comment on colleague Jim Achenbach's original Ohio Golf Association ball story, citing this quote:

"We are leaning to one that optimizes (distance efficiency off the tee) between 100 and 105 miles per hour (driver swing speed),"  said Alan Fadel, chairman of the OGA ball committee. "The ball is not going to benefit somebody at 120 (mph) the way the current ball does. We are trying to achieve a little more equality, that's all."

Kaufman appears to not understand that Fadel is referring to the impact of optimization (where properly matched players in the 115 mph-and-up range are getting excessive turbo boosts that effectively work around the USGA's Overall Distance Standard).

So there you have it: Golf's honchos officially have begun to embrace mediocrity rather than celebrating excellence. Years from now, the OGA's foolhardy decision might be remembered as a beachhead for the establishment of a welfare state for mediocre Tour players.

First, this "foolhardy decision" amounts to a 2-day, totally optional state golf association event where the ball is provided free of charge. This is not The Players Championship THE PLAYERS.

Those of us who have followed the issue know that one of the underlying issues with recent distance increases is that of skill, and the blurring of lines between the very good player and the super-elite.

Players of supreme skill like Tiger Woods or Ernie Els would be even better in an event using a ball like the one the OGA has selected. Their games would not be brought down by such a ball. They'd be even better. Tiger has even hinted that he's well aware of this possibility, which is one reason he can't campaign too hard for a change in the ball spec that introduces more spin or one that impacts the role of optimization.

Kaufman sees it the other way, and brings up the issue of equality. He believes the governing bodies have a desire to bring everyone down to the same level.

Any effort to legislate equality, whether in sports or broader society, is inherently problematic, if not doomed to failure. It sends a perverse message that top performers will be penalized for excellence, while laggards can count on benevolent rulers to shield them from superior performers.

And...

Players who swing the driver 120 mph and can control the ball's flight should hold an advantage over players who swing 105 mph. Swinging a golf club abnormally fast reflects superior athletic ability and training. And yes, it reflects superior skill. You remember skill, don't you. Golf used to celebrate it.

I seriously doubt any governing body wants to bring everyone together via an equipment change. (Course setup, that's another story.) Those swinging 120 m.p.h. would regain the proper edge that they deserve with a properly handled rollback.

Groups like the OGA want to eliminate the 350-yard drive born out of the optimization of launch conditions.  Groups like the USGA--assuming the Joint Statement is to be believed--want to reward the player who is physically strong and who can swing the club "abnormally fast," but also reward those who are genuinely precise with their ball striking.

Modern equipment has blurred distinctions in these two areas. 

MacDuff's Post Players Fed Ex Cup Points

Reader MacDuff's once again shows us how a 2007 "FedEx Cup" points race would shake out.  For those wondering, here is a link to the points system he has developed.

Despite its fifth major status, extra points were not awarded for The Player Championship THE PLAYERS.  Why do I suspect that the PGA Tour points breakdown will treat The Players Championship THE PLAYERS like the other majors?

1    Singh    11609.37        8
2    Sabbatini    10891.66        7
3    Toms    10509.37        6
4    Mickelson    10346.87        7
5    Petersson    10233.33        9
6    C.Campbell    10200        9
7    Glover    9854.16        7
8    Furyk    9587.5        7
9    Pernice    9437.5        7
10    Gf. Ogilvy    9387.5        6
11    T.Woods    8859.37        5
12    Lehman    8350        7
13    Weir    8334.37        6
14    Verplank    8187.5        6
15    Donald    8109.37        5
16    Van Pelt    8065        8
17    Villegas    8025        7
18    Rollins    7675        7
19    Parnevik    7567.5        8
20    Chopra    7424.5        8
21    D.Wilson    7400        7
22    Oberholser    7300        6
23    Mayfair    7191.66        7
24    Olazabal    7150        5
25    Franco    6800        7
26    JB Holmes    6695.83        6
27    G. Owen    6662.5        6
28    Barlow    6657.5        7
29    Appleby    6650        6
30    Garcia    6550        5
31    Ames    6500        5
32    Choi    6400        6
33    Funk    6337.5        7
34    Pat Perez    6262.5        7
35    Palmer    6166.66        6
36    Warren    6050        6
37    Rose    5966.66        5
38    T.Clark    5892.5        6
39    J.Ogilvie    5845        6
40    Pampling    5792.5        5
41    Love III    5762.5        5
42    Bohn    5733.33        6
43    Gay    5662.5        7
44    Bjornstad    5655        6
45    Z.Johnson    5612.5        6
46    Goosen    5537.5        4
47    Jobe    5392.5        5
48    Vn Taylor    5362.5        5
49    Langer    5354.16        6
50    Jerry Kelly    5325        4
51    N.Green    5262.5        6
52    Imada    5212.5        6
53    Els    5200        5
54    Westwood    5187.5        5
55    Calc    5150        7
56    Bub Watson    5075        5
57    Purdy    5037.5        5
58    Couples    5025        6
59    Cink    5021.33        5
60    Allenby    5012.5        5
61    DiMarco    4984.37        4
62    Bertsch    4900        6
63    Leonard    4895.83        5
64    Bryant    4862.5        5
65    A.Scott    4800        4
66    Fischer    4787.5        7
67    Triplett    4750        4
68    Watney    4737.5        6
69    F.Jacobson    4687.5        4
70    Senden    4625        4
71    Matteson    4600        6
72    M.Wilson    4590        4
73    Olin Browne    4487.5        6
74    Gore    4387.5        4
75    J.Smith    4350        4
76    Crane    4345        4
77    Atwal    4312.5        4
78    Howell III    4300        8
79    Sluman    4287.5        8
80    Baird    4200        5
81    Frazar    4187.5        6
82    Br.Davis    4162.5        6
83    Harrington    4050        3
84    JJ Henry    4050        4
85    Cook    4000        4
T86    Veazey    3962.5        4
T86    Kenny Perry    3962.5        4
88    D. Howell    3925        3
89    Hart    3925        4
90    Branshaw    3875        4
91    Curtis    3875        5
92    Hoffman    3852.5        4
93    Faxon    3787.5        5
94    Estes    3775        3
95    J.Byrd    3750        3
96    D.Clarke    3725        3
97    Slocum    3725        6
98    Lonard    3662.5        5
99    Herron    3657.5        4
100    Immelman    3650        4
101    Maggert    3625        6
102    Kent Jones    3537.5        4
103    Micheel    3500        4
T104    S.Jones    3475        4
T104    Cabrera    3475        4
106    Beem    3356.25        5
107    Stankowski    3265.5        5
108    RS Johnson    3225        3
109    Waldorf    3200        4
110    Sean O'Hair    3187.5        5
111    Dickerson    3137.5        6
112    Gove    3125        3
T113    Azinger    3112.5        4
T113    Petrovic    3112.5        4
115    H.Stenson    3012.5        3
116    S. Maruyama    3000        5
117    Ridings    2912.5        4
118    Gamez    2887.5        4
119    Garrigus    2850        3
120    Lowery    2837.5        4
121    JL Lewis    2800        5
122    Flesch    2775        5
123    Huston    2762.5        3
124    B. Quigley    2750        3
125    Points    2737.5        3
126    Mahan    2662.5        5
127    Levet    2637.5        5
128    Kaye    2487.5        3
129    M. Cambo    2437.5        2
130    Allen    2400        4
131    Goggin    2387.75        3
132    Pavin    2362.5        3
133    Sindelar    2325        5
134    Barron    2293.75        3
135    Lickliter II    2287.5        2
136    Poulter    2250        3
137    Stricker    2225        2
T138    Geiberger    2225        3
T138    Dawson    2225        3
140    Driscoll    2175        4
141    Baddeley    2100        4
142    Bren Jones    2050        2
143    Kevin Na    2037.5        2

PGA Tour Driving Distance Watch, Week 12

The PGA Tour Driving Distance average dropped again from 288.956 yards after Bay Hill, to 288.12 following The Players Championship THE PLAYERS.

There were 2 over-350 or longer drives, bringing the season total to 832. And that 6-8 inch rough managed to take driver out of the hands of contestants, dropping the percentage of over-300 yard drives from 25.3% to 23.8%.

"It's A Platform For What's To Come"

Just when you think one of those wonderfully empty MBA favorites is no longer en vogue at PGA Tour headquarters, along comes this story on the soon-to-be-demolished Sawgrass clubhouse...

The clubhouse will be replaced, but according to Dave Pillsbury, the Chief Operating Officer for PGA Tour Golf Course Properties, the old one will not be forgotten.

"It's going to be all about where we've been," he said. "It will be a platform for what's to come, but it's also going to celebrate where we've been. ... When you walk in the doors, we want you to be immersed in the history of this event and of Sawgrass."

Update on Monday, March 27, 2006 at 11:07 AM by Geoff

By my count, the Commissioner never used platform in last week's gathering with the media.

Tiger On Sawgrass Setup

More from Tiger Woods after Sunday's final The Players Championship, before it becomes THE PLAYERS:

TIGER WOODS: Since I've played here, I've never liked the way they've set it up with the rough high because the golf course wasn't meant to be played that way. I've talked to Pete Dye, and it wasn't meant to be played that way. It's supposed to be hard and fast and all the palmetto bushes are supposed to be coming into play. When we played the Amateur here in '94 that's the way it was, but they've cleaned it up and changed the golf course and changed, I think, how Pete wanted it initially to be played.

Hopefully when we come back here in May, it will be playing like that. Hard and fast is great, but six, eight inch rough, I don't think that's the right combo.

Ames and The Masters

 Stephen Ames after The Players Championship THE PLAYERS:

It was a difficult year for my wife and myself. And my boys, yeah, they probably watched it all as they came in this afternoon. They're probably sitting in front of the television watching it. It's going to be a big thrill and a wonderful vacation now.

Q. Have you spoken to Jodi yet?

STEPHEN AMES: I haven't, no.

Q. Is that going to be a two week vacation?

STEPHEN AMES: Not sure yet (laughing).

Q. Seriously, is there a possibility you won't play The Masters?

STEPHEN AMES: I have no plans of playing at Augusta. My kids have just come out of for their spring break, and we had plans to go somewhere else. My priorities have always been my family first. If it comes down to that, it's probably going to be a two week vacation, yes.

Q. What is the status of your citizenship?

STEPHEN AMES: For which country (laughter)?

Q. For your individual country.

STEPHEN AMES: I am born in Trinidad and Tobago. I am also a Canadian citizen. I live in Canada and have been there for the last 12 years.

Ah, but this rally killer was not successful...

Q. Is it possible your wife might talk you into Augusta?

STEPHEN AMES: I don't know. I'm not sure about it yet.

Q. What will determine whether you go to Augusta? Would your wife and children have to say go, pop?

STEPHEN AMES: No, I'd rather go on vacation to be truthful.

Q. So are you telling us you will not play The Masters?

STEPHEN AMES: I don't know yet. We'll see.

Update on Monday, March 27, 2006 at 08:08 AM by Geoff

Looks like he changed his mind...with the help of his family.

Tom Kite In The Forecaddie, Debut of The List

Courtesy of reader Stan, who kindly typed this from the current Golfweek (since I'm still waiting on an issue with a March dateline to reach the apparently hard-to-reach home of the homeless):

Hall of Famer Tom Kite never won a Masters, but he had a splendid record there, racking up 11 top-6 finishes, including three seconds. He knows a thing or two about what it takes to excel at Augusta National. When the Man Out Front asked Kite whether a medium-length hitter could contend routinely as he did given the course changes, the topic stirred some passion.

"I can understand making the golf course stand up to technology," Kite said. "Unfortunately they're responding to what's happening with just a top few players. From what I've heard has been done, I don't know if Arnold (Palmer) could've won there. (He won there four times) He made such good recovery shots, but if you hit a 3-iron, you're not going to hit the green. It takes that ability away."

Palmer and Jack Nicklaus got Kite's attention when they expressed concern over the latest National changes. Kite says he understands why courses have to be lengthened. And he gets fired up talking about it.

"If the manufacturers continue to run the game, I think the game is in for a long, tough road," he said. "The rule-making body (USGA) is not making rules for the game. The manufacturers are, and their No. 1 goal is to sell product. The game has changed so dramatically in the last six, eight years. What's happened is a joke. It's mind-boggling, compared to how much change there was over the last 100 years. Everything is based on speed. It's not based on ball-striking. If you want a good game, you can go buy it."

And with these comments, I guess it's time to debut a still-very-much-under-construction page on this site, called simply "The List."

The List features comments and links from just a few noted names in the golf world who have expressed concern about the distance issue, and their suggested remedies.

I have yet to go back into my archives of stories to post pre-2005 statements, but for now, The List should give you an idea where just some of golf's bigger names stand on the distance issue. Naturally, I welcome reader submissions to help make the list more definitive.

With This Win...

...Stephen Ames  loses the crown of best player never to have won a major championship     joins Craig Perks and Fred Funk as best players to win a fifth major without winning a Grand Slam event     reminds us that an anti-birdie, anti-distance rough harvest usually produces fluke winners     that The Players Championship will always be the fifth of four majors     joins Tiger Woods as a winner of the fifth major (The Players) and a former major (the Western Open).

Seriously, thanks Stephen for making it a runaway so we didn't have to turn away from the George Mason-UConn game.  I wanted to soak up some mighty Big East basketball before the Final Four is contested with all of those teams from conferences having down years!

And special thanks to the PGA Tour for a positively abysmal course setup that took a great design and rendered it's character virtually meaningless with excessive green speeds, lousy fairway contouring and excessive rough. 

"Restoring It To The Way Pete Dye Intended It"

That's what PGA Tour Golf Course Properties COO David Pillsbury said on today's Players telecast puff piece on the upcoming course restoration. I wonder if this means bringing back the scrub, crooked railroad ties and losing the rough?

Sheesh, I know the answer. Sorry for asking. 

It's Official...

...The Players Championship is a major because essayist Jimmy Roberts is dressing just like Jack Whitaker (well, minus the newsboy hat and tweed, but nothing says major like a turtleneck and bright red sweater vest).

What's next, Barry White and the Love Unlimited Orchestra's "Love's Theme?"

Fifth Major Watch, Final 2

Thanks to reader Steven T. for noticing this subtle, affirmative (or tongue in cheek?) "fifth major" reference in Doug Ferguson's third round game story.

Scott, the 2004 winner of golf's fifth major, shot 45 on the front nine and wound up with an 82.

Meanwhile Scott Michaux takes on the fifth major question:

It's the best tournament never to be a major.

Period.

The Players Championship has a serious inferiority complex which it needn't have. It's a great event on a thrilling golf course with a terrific field. Why that can't be good enough for the folks at the PGA Tour is pitiable story of jealousy and ego.

"We already think it's No. 1," said tour commissioner Tim Finchem, the primary "fifth major" lobbyist.

It's even tried to push-promote the notion of five majors as being a natural number by declaring a full handful on its senior circuit.

And...

It kills Finchem that he can't just declare his Players to be a major and make it stick. While the designation of major status might have been a fluid concept at one point, the television era and universal acceptance made the current four events established precedent long before the Sawgrass Stadium Course was ever built.

Finchem has finally pushed his Masters envy to the extreme starting in 2007. He's given the tournament its own spring month, reduced commercial interruption on television to four minutes per hour, spread the coverage into China, approved plans for a more traditional clubhouse and trimmed the official name to a brand-hammering title - The Players.

If that's not enough, Finchem made sure he mentioned the TPC's "champions dinner" on Tuesday and has proved even more adept than Augusta National Golf Club at creating a vocabulary all its own. (See "limited commercial inventory presentation.")

Rory and Nick, Follow Up

Iain Carter in The Guardian has even more fun details on the story that NBC and various American press outlets either won't touch or completely missed.

If you missed it, here's the original story on the Faldo-Sabbatini spat, complete with a photo of Amy Sabbatini in her "Keep Up" t-shirt. Carter fills us in on the comments that Faldo made at the Booz Allen last year that were clearly on Sabbatini's mind when their pairing was announced this week, and when they were put on the clock.

'When people say that if they were paired with you they would "slow play" you, that leaves a lot of questions about their morals and professionalism,' said Sabbatini, who is aware of Faldo's observations from the commentators' booth.

In response to Amy Sabbatini's decision to plaster her 'keep up' message across her chest, Faldo, who has always taken a painstaking approach to his golf, quipped: 'I think it's very embarrassing for them to bring their sexual problems to the golf course. Poor fellow. I thought he had enough problems as it is without her announcing them to the world.'

Referring to the first-round incident when Sabbatini became enraged because the stopwatches of officialdom were deemed necessary, Faldo said: 'He completely lost his head with the official, so I don't know what his problem was. Camilo lost his ball on the 10th and that's why we were put on the clock, but we were back in place within one hole, so it was no big deal.'

Sabbatini refused to blame the six-time major winner Faldo, but he made his feelings clear when asked if he had any complaints against his playing partners. 'You know, Camilo played great, he did his part and kept playing as well as he could. He was a true gentleman out there and showed good professionalism. I'll leave it at that,' he said.

In truth, Sabbatini's biggest argument is with the way that new slow play rules were ignored in this incident. Regulations permit referees to warn and time individuals rather than the entire group and he believes that this is what should have happened. 'If players create policy then why not use it,' he said. 'I would say there was a situation that occurred that should have resulted in me not necessarily being put on the clock.'

A PGA Tour spokesman said: 'Our pace of play policy does allow individuals rather than the group to be put on the clock if we are able to determine that one player is responsible for the group being behind. In my opinion our officials do a good job on pace of play and apply it consistently.'

It Must Be a Major...

...because the course is playing the players, instead of the players playing the course. (Thank you Walter Hagen.)

Great stuff there at the Players today. Love the 8-inch ryem, and so did Ian Poulter.

Today's intensely dull 3rd round did set the stage for a major power nap that I welcomed before the big Bruin victory.

I know you traditionalists hate this trainwreck setup style that's really all about the people doing the setup and their lousy sense of self, but if I keep getting such great naps out of it, I may have to re-think it.

Thankfully, Tiger and Vijay got in a few subtle jabs about the absurdity of 6-8 inch rough on a course designed with wind in mind:

Q. Is it a PLAYERS Championship without this kind of wind?

TIGER WOODS: Probably not, probably not. This golf course was built here for conditions like this, but the only problem is now they've got six or eight inch rough. That's a little different than how the golf course is meant to be played.

It's a little different out there. If you miss fairways you're probably going to make bogeys. It's six or eight inches in spots. It's brutal. You've got to drive the ball in the fairway and then from there you've got to really understand what you're going to try to do on the greens, whether you line them up in the low spot or a high spot.

And Vijay, explaining in his own way how the rough is designed for one thing, and one thing only: take driver out of the player's hands because someone didn't regulate equipment:

Q. How many 3 woods do you hit on par 4s and 5s or drivers?

VIJAY SINGH: Drivers, I tried to hit driver on 1. I tried to hit driver on the 6th, but I really didn't need to, and on 11 and that was it. Well, I think one more, 14.

Q. So much for this course taking the strength of your game?

VIJAY SINGH: It's not a long golf course. It's one of the shortest golf courses we play on Tour. With the conditions right now getting more and more firm, you probably don't need a driver here at all. But the penalties are the small greens and angular tee shots that we have to hit. It's always at an angle. The fairways pinch in where we hit our landing areas. So it's a very tricky golf course, you might say.

Tricky? That used to be code for goofy.

Think they fine the players for criticizing their own course and their own tournament?