Because it's un-American to let a highly-rated, all-around hugely successful thing die, the folks at Golf Digest, NBC and the USGA are bringing back the Golf Digest Challenge.
But there's a catch: last year's 100-word essays were too long-winded, so this time around the Digest editorial team will only have to consume 56,000 six-word submissions. Oh, and those "encouraged" videos (wink, wink).
My gut says the 100-word essay was not eliminated to keep Craig Bestrom from smashing his Macbook after reading 6,000,000 inane words. No, I think it's to protect Bestrom from my multiple entries on the sheer hideousness of Rees Jones's remodeled 18th hole at Bethpage Black (pictured, left...but don't stare at it too long...it may cause macular degeneration).
Still, I've sketched out a few six word entries and was hoping you might tell me which of the following has the best chance of winning. And of course, feel free to post your own below should you need some friendly feedback.
Okay, here we go.
In the blatant rear-end kissing division:
- Jerry Tarde is God...pick me
Garnering sympathy category:
- One golfer, in spite of himself.
- Viagra doesn't work for me anymore.
I missed my calling as a not-as-clever-as-I-think ad executive, division:
- Intelligently designed to break one hundred.
- Live free, work hard, break 100.
- Six words is the new 100.
The I-am-perfect-for-a-reality show mindset:
- I am a narcissist...pick me.
- Because everyone else pretty much sucks.
- My dying wish: meet Mark Rolfing.
Inane, cliched and apparently never going away Mastercard rip-off category:
- Knowing I might break 100? Priceless.
Homage to President-elect Obama:
- Fired up and ready to go!
And I'll let your imagination determine where this goes...
- Once you go Bethpage Black, you...