Kim Jong Il Puts Jacqueline Gagne To Shame

We have a new serial hole-in-onester to replace Ms. Gagne seems, but in Kim Jong Il's case, he made his 11 holes-in-one in one round...and it was the first round he'd ever played!

Apparently it was Kim Jong Il Day and besides learning that his birthday improves the weather, various other wise tales were shared including this item leaked about His Wonderfulnesses golf game:

Kim, who avoids travelling on airplanes for his rare trips overseas, did learn to be a crack fighter pilot.

He goes through intensive memory training every day and can remember the phone numbers of workers, lines of computer code and the personal biographies of cadres.

And legend has it that the first time Kim played golf, he shot 11 holes-in-one and carded a score about 20 strokes lower than the best round ever for a professional event over 18 holes.

Shock: Thinking Too Much Can Be Bad For Your Game

So good to see that two of the world's great universities are studying the really important stuff...

See If You Can Spot The Malaprop...

Here's a fun golf course email received by a reader who wishes to remain anonymous...click on the image to enlarge:

"The company representative insisted on charging them a cancellation fee."

You may recall the story of the Kolodjay clan heading to Myrtle Beach for golf, only to have their Spirit Air flight cancelled and a new booking on the doomed U.S. Airways flight 1549.

In an apparent attempt to ensurethat no one ever flies Spirit again, the airline initially insisted on charging Jeff Kolodjay a cancellation fee for the return flight tickets on Spirit that are going on unused. Even though his credit card was still a tad soggy, Spirit didn't budge until word got out. They've since changed their minds...assuming they have them (minds, that is).

"The site allows employees of any company to anonymously post comments about their work environment, share salary information, and even rate the C.E.O."

In the excellent February issue of Portfolio (which includes the Tiger Woods design profile and several other great reads...or maybe I was just in fine spirits because I was reading a magazine at the beach...in January...in North America!), Kevin Maney explores the state of Silicon Valley venture capital and writes about Glassdoor.com.

In a twisted way, when the economy tanks, conditions in Silicon Valley and other tech communities actually become more advantageous for starting and building companies. Look at the fresh-baked startup Glassdoor, a sort of TripAdvisor for job seekers. Launched in June, the site allows employees of any company to anonymously post comments about their work environment, share salary information, and even rate the C.E.O.

Naturally I raced home...well, after the sun set because it was 80 at dusk...oh sorry, back to my point. I raced home to check out some of my favorite organizations at Glassdoor: the USGA and the PGA Tour. Shockingly, the staff has not been doing their due dilligence in posting salaries, work environment or their ratings for the executive ranks.

Let's get on this people. Chop, chop! That's Glassdoor.com in case you forgot.

"Their sticks are on the bottom of the Hudson. Very good ones, I might add."

The Boston Globe's Eric Moskowitz and Maria Cramer tell us about the golfers headed to Myrtle Beach on the US Airways jet that landed in the Hudson.

"Critics call it a resort for union leaders that wastes money from union dues."

I'm feeling a lot less sympathetic about the UAW's plight after reading this FoxNews.com story (thanks to all of the readers who sent it in). Not because UAW leadership built a lavish $33 million lakeside retreat that is now burning a hole in union pockets. No, because they spent that on and got this (see photo, left).

Even as the industry struggles with massive losses, the UAW brass continue to own and operate a $33 million lakeside retreat in Michigan, complete with a $6.4 million designer golf course. And it's costing them millions each year.

The UAW, known more for its strikes than its slices, hosts seminars and junkets at the Walter and May Reuther Family Education Center in Onaway, Mich., which is nestled on "1,000 heavily forested acres" on Michigan's Black Lake, according to its Web site.
But the Black Lake club and retreat, which are among the union's biggest fixed assets, have lost $23 million in the past five years alone, a heavy albatross around the union's neck as it tries to manage a multibillion-dollar pension plan crisis.

"The image of a policeman-turned-woman does not sit easily with many participants in a sport driven by power, muscle and speed."

Jim Achenbach tells the Lana Lawless story. (Thanks to reader Ari.)

It's Tootsie meets SWAT in the vein of The Crying Game.

"Game Of Golf Loses A Gem"

I had not read the Max Elbin obits until Leonard Shapiro's piece in the Washington Post. What a life.

“People may not really trust the guys they play golf with"

Ian Urbina continues the New York Times' excellent coverage of the Bernie Made Off Madoff scandal with today's dispatch from Palm Beach Country Club:

But the mood was gloomiest at the country club where, people here said, at least a third of the 300 or so members had money invested with Mr. Madoff.

The shame of the Madoff scandal seemed especially bitter here in part because the club is known for its noblesse oblige in requiring members to give tens of thousands of dollars each year to charity.

The attention was also particularly unwelcome for a community whose grand homes sit hidden behind 20-foot-tall ficus hedges and steel gates.

In cultivating an aloof mystique, Mr. Madoff had fooled those who fancied themselves the wiser.

Typically, investors needed at least $1 million to approach Mr. Madoff. Being a member of this club also helped.

But even with those prerequisites, there was little guarantee that Mr. Madoff would take the client.

Looking out on the stunning beauty of the country club’s driving range, wedged between the Intracoastal Waterway and the Atlantic Ocean, one club member commented that the outsiders of Mr. Madoff’s clique turned out to be the lucky ones.

“It’s funny how these things work out,” the member said, adding that he had never tried to invest with the firm because he did not like Mr. Madoff’s unwillingness to explain his methods.

Ross B. Intelisano, a lawyer representing a collection of its members, said he thought relations at the country club and on the island generally might never be the same again.

“He had this reputation that he’s one of these guys, that he’s what Wall Street’s all about,” he said about Mr. Madoff. “It’s all about a handshake, and people trusted him.”

That sort of trust may be gone now, Mr. Intelisano said.

“People may not really trust the guys they play golf with,” he said.

Just wondering out loud here: with Madoff's close ties to golf, has anyone heard of any major golf organizations or charities that might have invested their extra funds with the man?

Oh, and thanks to readering Jeff for Joe Weisenthal's blog post on the remarkably consistent Mr. Madoff, who stopped posting scores eight years ago. Still look how steady his was. Just like those steady returns he promised.

Burrito The Golfing Dog!

Eat your heart out lefties...

"A suspected robber wearing underwear on his head to hide his identity was chased down Monday afternoon by customers in a golf cart..."

Erin Alberty, reporting for the Salt Lake Tribune...

The 48-year-old is suspected of approaching a clerk at Golf in the Round (600 W. 3300 South), demanding money and threatening the clerk with a 10-inch butcher knife, police wrote in a statement.

The clerk noticed the man was wearing men's underwear as a mask and replied, "You gotta be kidding," police wrote. When the robber moved forward with the knife, the clerk tried to wrest it away. The blade broke off, and the robber left the store and ran across the driving range, police wrote.

The clerk, whose hands were cut in the struggle, alerted customers to the robbery, police said. The customers used a golf cart to chase the man and keep him from escaping until officers arrived, police wrote.

The man was booked into jail.

Par Mates Are Here!

Thanks to reader Chema for news of this classy, much needed effort to grow the game at Las Vegas' Royal Links.

Attention Eliot Spitzer: I know you are mostly a tennis man, but I think it's time to take up the Royal and Ancient!

From the Par Mates page, where you can learn more about these Rhodes Scholars:

Par Mates are extremely attractive and outgoing young ladies / girl caddies that will keep the golfers company during their round and help with course arrangements like orientation, introduction to course personnel, call in food and beverage orders, maintaining scorecards, shopping assistance in the golf shop and other services designed to replicate the five-star assistance provided by major hotel concierges staff. They’ll even repair divots, fix ball marks, clean balls, clean clubs and help with yardage, ball flight and obstacles. Additionally they will serve as your personal hostesses during the round to eliminate any hassles or drudgeries and make the experience more pleasant, enjoyable and fun. 

Cost: $225 per caddy
Booking Requirements: 72 hours in advance of your tee time

Another Serial Hole-In-Onester

Thanks to reader Michael for this story on central Illinois Curt Hocker. We know how well the last one hole-in-one specialist story turned out.

Curt Hocker is on a roll. Five rolls, to be exact. Just ask anyone at the El Paso Golf Club, where the 22-year-old has recorded five holes-in-one in the last week, including two on Saturday. In this year alone, Hocker has seven aces, five on par-4s, and two other double eagles.