Note To Smugglers: Know What A Handicap Is

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Thanks to Putmedownfora6 for this priceless James Tozer story from The Sun detailing Kayti (huh!?) Dryer, who had checked golf clubs and paid a visit to Customs where they asked her what her handicap was.

When she was unable to answer, they seized the clubs and found £83,000 worth of cocaine hidden inside the shafts.

Yesterday the 23-year-old was starting a four-year prison sentence after admitting smuggling the drugs.

Dryer was questioned after her golf bag was X-rayed at Manchester Airport when she got off a flight from the Caribbean in April. She claimed to have taken the clubs on holiday to Montego Bay in Jamaica.

An airport source said: 'When asked about her handicap, she looked blank and asked them to repeat the question. They asked her again, she gave no response.

'She clearly did not know what they were talking about and had no idea it was even a golfing term. It appeared as if she thought they were asking her if she had a disability.'

Traces of cocaine were revealed when Customs officers swabbed her luggage, and when they cut the clubs into pieces they found a 1kg stash.

JT Pitching Golf Memoir

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And he's only 28 years old! But he has played the last two Golf Digest Break 100 deals, which, based on the time it took to play, actually makes JT the golfer feel 52.

Amy Wilkinson reports:

Literary agent David Viglian, who has represented celebs like Clay Aiken and Shannon Doherty, recently sent editors a proposal for a memoir-like work in which JT recounts his many rounds of golf and who he’s teed off with.

It’s no secret Justin’s a big fan of the game, having been introduced to it by stepfather Paul Harless. “I can go on any golf course, anywhere. I can go on a golf course in Abu Dhabi and feel like I’m back home. That’s what I love about it,” he told Entertainment Tonight.

“If I feel threatened, I am morally obligated to destroy you"

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Thanks to reader Ed for another beautiful slow play meltdown, as reported by Patrick George. This time it's a 73-year old man pulling a handgun at Lions Muni in Austin.

Edwin Dailey, who has been charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, got into a confrontation with three men at the ninth hole of the Lions Municipal Golf Course on Enfield Drive Monday afternoon because he thought they were playing too slowly, an arrest affidavit said. The argument continued to the 13th hole when Dailey told the men he would get his gun and “make them both equal,” the affidavit said.

After finishing the game, Dailey and the others ended up in the parking lot where he provoked another argument with the men, the affidavit said. Dailey pointed an automatic handgun loaded with hollow-point bullets at one of the men and screamed, “If I feel threatened, I am morally obligated to destroy you,” according to the affidavit.

I've been trying to tell you, slow play is a moral issue.

“I take it one golf hole at a time."

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The flight east allowed me to really savor Amy Wallace's must-read look at the wildly entertaining Yellowstone Club saga and the lovebirds who own it, the Blixseth's. Also part of the mess is Porcupine Creek, a favorite of the Golf Digest panel where Ms. Blixeth lives...and weeds.

Whether such calm will descend upon Ms. Blixseth remains to be seen.

A partial list of her debts filed with the bankruptcy court in April includes bank loans, judgments and tax liens totaling more than $141 million, including the $35 million from CrossHarbor. Her household staff of 114 has been cut to less than 40. Some days, she spends hours outside doing yard work.

“I call it Zen weed-pulling,” she says. “I take it one golf hole at a time.

"It's hard to overestimate the impact that this has had on the golf world"

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Impressive reporting job by Golf Mag's Josh Sens who went into the club world shattered by Bernie Madoff, revealing just how hard some were hit by the Ponzi schemer.

The tally so far registers in grim estates: a staggering $1 billion-plus purportedly swindled from the membership of Palm Beach CC; a reported $100 million from those at Hillcrest and Oak Ridge country clubs in Minnesota; and on. But the damage to the game can't be measured in dollars alone. In his wide-ranging betrayal, Madoff not only stole a fortune, he frayed the social fabric from which golf is stitched. His still-unraveling scheme has left some players questioning the sense of trust supposedly inherent among golfers, and others contemplating the cruel irony of having joined clubs that were built to keep the riffraff out, only to discover that the worst kind of riffraff was already in.

"When the phone did ring, it wasn’t US Air on the other end; it was Titleist."

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I always knew those lax rules on free equipment would finally have a positive effect. Jim McCabe reports that Titleist has outfitted the "Chicopee Six" survivors of US Air 1549, who lost their sticks when their flight landed in the Hudson.

Company representatives had heard the men were going to follow through with their Myrtle Beach trip and wanted to fit the men with new clubs. Plans were made for an April 2 visit and when the Chicopee Six arrived, they discovered that new FootJoy golf shoes were part of the package.

Rob Kolodjay could not hide his emotions.

“I’m a humble guy, but we’ve received so much media attention,” he said to Titleist club-fitters Karen Gray and Fordie Pitts III. “That’s been hard. We didn’t ask for the attention. But you folks (at Titleist) have been so good, I could cry.”

"A wood not an iron"

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Thanks to reader Quan for this Aaron Gouveia story that sounds like something out of a Larry David episode. Guy holds door open for another guy who doesn't say thank you, so guy opening door utters sarcastic "thank you" (something I will never do again after reading this!).

Police officers were called to the Hess gas station at the corner of Sandwich Road and Route 151 at 6:45 a.m. Monday following an altercation between two customers. The incident began with one man not saying "thank you" to another man as he held the door open for him, police said.

When he was exiting the gas station, police said, a 50-year-old East Falmouth man held the door open for Carlos Navarro, 38, of Falmouth. When Navarro allegedly failed to thank the man for opening the door, the 50-year-old man allegedly uttered a sarcastic "thank you" to Navarro, police said.

Navarro told police he believed he had been disparaged, which led to a heated argument. Navarro then went to his car and retrieved a golf club — a wood not an iron — and struck the alleged victim several times in the stomach and legs, police said.

Police said the alleged victim suffered minor injuries in the incident.

So glad we got that clarified on wood or iron. As if it really makes a difference when you are getting beaten with one!