Elin Pregnant; Media Jubilant Over Opportunity To Ask Tiger More Inane Questions About Fatherhood

Finally, a reason to wish Tiger would take more time off: the relentlessly redundant fatherhood questions will be returning...so soon. They'll make questions about the knee seem fun!

Tiger, how does it feel to be a father for the second time? 

Tiger, now that you are a father for the second time, does this allow you to relate to your father, who had two children himself, one of whom was you?

Tiger, do you see yourself cutting back your design work from two projects at a time to one now that you have two children and one bum knee?

Tiger, does this your change your perspective towards life in any way that I can write about so I don't have to write about your knee for the third time this month?

Tiger, have you reached out to anyone like Phil Mickelson or Michael Jordan or Barack Obama about the ways having a second child might impact your schedule?

Tiger, now that Elin has provided you with another child, does this make Steve Williams any less of a jerk?

Al Ruwaya Achieves Its Goals!

Tiger's press release writers need to understand that it's one thing to declare you design work a success, it's another to do it while the bulldozers are still flying around.

“When I set out to design Al Ruwaya, I wanted the course to reflect what I truly love about golf – a stern mental and physical test that rewards smart thinking. I believe we’ve achieved that goal with a course that will be fun and rewarding for all skill levels to play.”

Currently, shaping is in progress on the 18 hole, 7,800 yard, par 72 championship-quality course, which includes dramatic elevations, stunning water features and an overall design that will challenge and entertain golfers of all skill levels.

"Where does the "w" go in awkward?"

I prefer Michael Bamberger's reasons for Tiger's Ryder Cup assistant captain invite rejection over the rationale Tiger offered. Especially the last two:

6) In the team room, I'd have to act like I feel we have a better team than the Euros. My acting's pretty good, but there are limits.

7) I have more good friends on the Euro team than the American team -- where does the "w" go in awkward?

"Athletes screening their urine for steroids are more than likely doing so to monitor their use of steroids."

Thanks to reader Tony for this Andy Martino story from the New York Daily News that takes a much tougher look at the PGA Tour's testing procedure than any I've read.

A couple of highlights, starting with this from the PGA Tour's Ty Votaw.

Asked why golfers would be less prone to temptation than athletes in other sports, Votaw cites etiquette. "We think the culture of our sport is such that if a rule exists it is adhered to," he says. "It is a culture that has served us very well - athletes who call penalties on themselves, etc. Other sports don't have that same sort of cultural value system."

And that's why the product delivers such value. A core values and skill set mention would have been nice Ty.

Okay, here's the part that's going to ruffle some feathers.

While some players are applying for exemptions, one big name seems eager to prove he is clean. Tiger Woods said Monday that he had himself tested twice in the last six months to make sure that his nutritional supplements were free of banned substances. Woods did not say when or in what lab the testing took place. But BALCO founder Victor Conte is skeptical that an athlete would feel concerned enough about his or her nutritional program to conduct a self-test.

Hey, the man does know a thing or two about cheating! Sorry, continue...

"Most nutritional supplements have a two-year expiration date," says Conte, who says he has no knowledge of Woods' nutritional program or his self-tests and is speaking in general terms, "so there are far less contaminated supplements on the market at this time. It seems that it is now more likely that athletes screening their urine samples for steroids ... would be doing so to confirm that the steroids they previously used had cleared their system. Athletes screening their urine for steroids are more than likely doing so to monitor their use of steroids."

And there's this from Dr. Gary Wadler of the WADA:

For example, the drug salbutamol, found in asthma inhalers, is anabolic and can build muscle. Salbutamol is banned in the Olympics, but allowed in golf. Also, though human growth hormone is prohibited, neither tour administers the blood tests that would possibly detect it. All 33 WADA labs worldwide test for HGH, although the efficacy of the tests are in question.

Wadler also takes issue with the language used to describe the testing process. The PGA Tour manual says: "Once notified, you should report to the designated testing area as soon as possible. The collector may allow you to delay reporting ... however, you may be monitored."

"What do you mean, 'should' and 'may?'" asks Wadler. "These things have to be required. What if the player goes to the bathroom after being told to report? That's no good."

The soft language continues in the manual's section on penalties. The PGA Tour policy states: "Sanctions may include disqualification, forfeiture of prize money/points and other awards, ineligibility, and fines. Sanctions for drugs of abuse (marijuana, cocaine, etc.) ... may include rehabilitation or medical treatment."

In other words, the word "may" - rather than the more definitive "will" - opens a window for Finchem to exercise his own judgment about sanctions if a player tests positive. The policy later defines specific penalties for first, second and third violations, though once again under the heading "sanctions on the players may include."

Hey, just looking out for the product!

In terms of public disclosure, the policy states that "the PGA Tour will, at a minimum, publish the name of the player, the anti-doping rule violation, and the sanction imposed" - a statement that is contingent on Finchem having sanctioned a player in the first place. Clearly, if a star player were to test positive for steroids, that player "may" face a punishment and public embarrassment - or he may not. Wadler also points out that amphetamines, commonly used as performance enhancers, are classified under the tour's policy as drugs of abuse, meaning that players, if caught using these PEDs, could be quietly sent to rehab. All of these shortcomings, Wadler says, could be cleared up if both professional golf tours would cede control of their programs to WADA.

"But I'm on the good side now and I can start sleeping more than an hour at times..."

One of the real highlights of today's AT&T National final round was a captivating 5-minute chat with Tiger Woods via satellite (transcript here). 

First, we learned that Tiger's been only sleeping an hour at a time (ugh!) and believe me, he looked the part.

More importantly, we learned that he actually keeps the FedEx Cup trophy in his home, not locked up in that storage facility where they stashed the Ark of the Covenant. I thought it was wonderful that he has the trophy there available for satellite interviews such as today. Special thanks to Verne Lundquist for pointing that out and eliminating all Cialis usage in the greater Ponte Vedra area tonight.

"In recent weeks, everyone except for Dr. Seuss, it seems, has been quoted in stories regarding Woods's knee"

Jim McCabe on the peanut gallery commenting on Tiger's knee:

Instead of keeping to themselves and their patients, they're reaching out through hospital PR machines to offer free consultations and observations of Woods's condition to any reporter willing to call. And guess what? The reporters have been taking the easy way out and lining up to get quotes from doctors who offer "expert" opinions, analysis, and a prognosis - though, of course, it's always accompanied by the disclaimer that the person being quoted isn't close to the case, has never met the patient, and is merely "speculating," but, hey, it's a good way to get their names in the paper, right?

In recent weeks, everyone except for Dr. Seuss, it seems, has been quoted in stories regarding Woods's knee, as if we were dealing with something rare. But it occurs to me that the knee injury has been a part of the sports landscape since David stunned Goliath, 3 and 1, using a putter and 5-iron - or maybe it was a sling and five stones; it's so hard to keep track.

"I want our golf tournament to be there for perpetuity"

I don't! And I suspect a number of players with more discerning taste would agree. From Doug Ferguson's weekly notes:

The board of directors at Congressional Country Club has recommended a three-year contract to host the AT&T National starting in 2012, with an option for three more years that will take it to 2017, The Washington Post reported.

It still requires approval from the full membership, but tournament host Tiger Woods liked the development.

"I want our golf tournament to be there for perpetuity," Woods said. "It is an unbelievable golf course, and in our nation's capitol, on our nation's birthday. The stars couldn't get aligned even more than what it is. Hopefully, we can keep it there."

"I decided to make the U.S. Open my last event, whether I made the cut or not"

Tiger Woods teleconferenced with the scribes to kick off the AT&T National and filled in a few gaps in the injury timeline. 

For press summaries, you have plenty of options: Melanie Hauser (here), Larry Dorman (here), Bob Harig (here) and Steve Elling (here).

"It's been so bad at Golf Channel that instead of providing live coverage of the Fall Series, the network ran an endless loop of Woods's 2006 appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show."

For my money (which isn't much), Alan Shipnuck should win the GWAA Award For Best Non-Daily What-Will-Golf-Do-Without-Tiger Column division. From last week's SI Scorecard:

He is said to have added 17 pounds of muscle, most of it in his left leg. Gone will be the trademark swoosh on his cap, replaced with mayo clinic, which took advantage of golf fans' newfound interest in medical issues and became his newest big-ticket sponsor. Woods will also unveil a reconstructed swing designed to reduce the torque on his left knee: After carefully studying a sequence of photos of Charles Barkley taken at 1999's American Century Celebrity Golf Championship, Woods has incorporated a pronounced hitch in his downswing.

It is a testament to his tremendous athletic ability that he is still able to drive the ball up to 210 yards. To chronicle the return of the world No. 1 — yes, Woods had piled up enough points to retain his lofty perch while idled — ESPN and CBS are planning wall-to-wall coverage.

(A tiny camera has been embedded within Woods's knee, so viewers can gauge how well his surgically repaired ACL holds up during the Masters.)

Television executives are giddy about Woods's return, since ratings have plunged 93% without him. It's been so bad at Golf Channel that instead of providing live coverage of the Fall Series, the network ran an endless loop of Woods's 2006 appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.

"I want to think about it"

Tim Rosaforte recaps Tiger's knee prospects and slips this in at the end of his Golf World story:

So while many hope Woods returns for next year's Buick Invitational, or even the 2009 Masters, he may not be back until daughter Sam is close to her second birthday -- or just in time to defend his U.S. Open title at Bethpage Black. What will it be like for him to miss that much time? "Anybody who's a warrior is going to have trouble taking a [sustained] break from competition," says sport psychologist Bob Rotella. "It is not only the winning they miss, it's the way they feel starting out Thursday, or being in contention on Sunday."

Woods already is restless. After filming a Buick commercial last week, he called Haney requesting a list of areas that he could improve upon during his time away from competition. The instructor tried to tell Woods that he hadn't even had surgery yet, but Tiger pressed. "I want to think about it," he said.

Shocker: Doctors Declare Tiger Surgery A Success

Your basic pre-fab press release from IMG, with a quote from Tiger written by someone else...

Tiger Woods underwent successful reconstructive surgery on the Anterior Cruciate Ligament (ACL) in his left knee on Tuesday in Park City, Utah.

The surgery was performed by Dr. Thomas D. Rosenberg and Dr. Vernon J. Cooley who did arthroscopic surgery on Woods’ same knee in April of this year.

“We were confident going in to this surgery and I am pleased with the results,” said Dr. Rosenberg.  “There were no surprises during the procedure, and as we have said, with the proper rehabilitation and training, it is highly unlikely that Mr. Woods will have any long-term effects as it relates to his career.”

A rehabilitation schedule and projected timetable for Woods’ return to competitive golf has yet to be determined, but will be announced at the appropriate time.

“It was important to me to have the surgery as soon as possible so that I could begin the rehabilitation process,” said Woods. “I am very appreciative of Dr. Rosenberg and Dr. Cooley and his staff’s guidance and look forward to working with them through the necessary rehabilitation and training.  I also wanted to thank everyone for their well wishes over the past week.  I look forward to working hard at my rehabilitation over the coming months and returning to the PGA TOUR healthy next year.”

"Scooped it up in a empty beer cup, as not to disrupt the DNA, Ive got lots of witness'...all moneys go to my daughters college fund"

Some people go to the merchandise tent and buy a hat, others pick up Tiger Woods-discarded apple cores and put them on ebay. And you wonder why he has a boat called Privacy?

The text, in case it disappears...

I was at the US Open this Friday, following Tiger Woods down the 12 th Fairway, after his tee shot, he was eating an apple, 30 yards from his ball he discarded his apple core in the rough, I asked a photothe to kick it over my way, and he did, I never touched the core, Scooped it up in a empty beer cup, as not to disrupt the DNA, Ive got lots of witness'...all moneys go to my daughters college fund