"The only way to get this guy to play is to buy him."

Someone won a golf tournament this week (Retief Goosen), so he must be the new Masters favorite if you are following SI's Golf Plus/golf.com/Golf Magazine/AOL/Time Warner Cable dissertation, which stretches to a new record four pages.

But they make up for the expected love for the latest winner by defecating all over the Tavistock Cup and offering this spirited exchange on Tiger's $3 million appearance fee for the Australian Masters.

Gorant: If things get worse over there, it would be interesting if Tiger showed up and got booed or picketed by protestors.

Herre: Not all the dough is from taxpayers, about half is. And Tiger will be leaving a chunk in Australia as he will be taxed there on the $3 million. The reality is that he isn't making that much off the trip. I think it's one of those "expanding the brand" things. Also, heaven knows the Australian tour could use a lift. It's been hurting for years.

Gorant: It's 48% in taxes. Interesting side note on Tiger's motivation: the event is run by IMG.

Shipnuck: My favorite part of the blowback was Tiger's agent, Mark Steinberg, saying that his famous client was basically going because he really, really wanted to play Kingston Heath. I've been there, and it is indeed a great course, but I don't think that's why Tiger is getting on the plane.

Van Sickle: Tiger's trip Down Under should be a lesson to those trying to recruit Tiger for their own tournaments. The only way to get this guy to play is to buy him. Either a $3 million appearance fee overseas, or an endorsement deal (like AmEx and Buick) or have a tournament run by IMG (Deutsche Bank, AT&T). Judging by his last-minute entry even into the WGC event at Doral, he's not going to be pro-active on Finchem's request for the tour's stars to play more. Pay him and he'll play.

Maybe the folks running the Skins Game will...oh right, they already did that too!

"In my view it's going to do a lot of damage to our national Open which comes two weeks after this one in Melbourne"

Count Peter Thomson among those not so wild about Tiger's $3 million appearance fee for the IMG Masters (Australian edition). James Corrigan reporting:

 "In my view it's going to do a lot of damage to our national Open which comes two weeks after this one in Melbourne," he said. "The Australian Open is our national championship, it is the most important event that we have. He won't be playing in that but that [Masters appearance] sucks up all the potential sponsorship."

"But a little bit of dull to his game should have been expected at this point. It just takes some getting used to."

Greg Stoda looks at Tiger's understandably rusty play. After all, his 8-month layoff was probably the longest since the Mike Douglas Show appearance days when he was two.

Hey, he might blitz the Blue Monster with 64, 65 or 66 today.

But a better guess is that Woods, who's simply not going to win mired so deep in the pack 10 shots off Mickelson's lead, will manufacture another round much like his first two.

It's not that he's being careful - he says he feels "great" save for a sore right ankle - as much as it's a matter of Woods being unable to sustain anything positive. He says it's a lack of "feel" on the course, which might be true. But it's almost certainly a nicer way of saying he's rusty.

It's as though Woods is in a struggle with his internal clock. He seemed several times to be fighting an urge to hurry between shots. There's a pace to the game - heck, fast or slow play can even be a strategy - and Woods might have to get used to his own rhythms again.

Woods isn't, as he said, "playing for five bucks at home in Isleworth" anymore.

No, he isn't.

And as much good as those social rounds surely did Woods in his physical recuperation, he might also have grown too accustomed to zooming through 18 holes in much less time than it takes to compete on the PGA Tour.

Butch: No Love For My Man

Thomas Bonk talks to Butch Harmon about the state of Phil Mickelson's game and like the swallows returning to Capistrano or Gary Koch uttering "just a moment ago," the talk predictably turns to his former student.

While Harmon is encouraged by Mickelson's progress, he's not so happy with Mickelson's critics, especially after Riviera. It's all about comparisons, Harmon said.

"When Tiger wins and doesn't play as well, or wins with his 'B Game' or 'C Game,' everybody talks about how courageous he is," Harmon said. "Phil wins the same kind of way and everybody says how lucky he is. Different strokes for different folks, I guess."

Obvious Butch does not read this site since I explored the very question of luck vs. courageous play at Riviera, and came down on the courageous side.

NBC Contemplates Running Continuous Loop Of Tiger's Matches This Weekend Before Settling On Slightly Excessive Coverage Plan

From Diane Pucin's media column in the L.A. Times:

Tiger Woods is out in the second round of the Accenture Match Play Championship, beaten Thursday by South Africa's Tim Clark. That means Woods won't be playing Saturday and Sunday during live network television coverage of the event, but he'll still be prominent on NBC.

"We'll have to deal with showing what happened to Tiger because this has gone from being a golf tournament to a news event," NBC golf producer Tommy Roy said. "Our weekend telecast will have to deal with showing what happened to Tiger. It will be our duty."