"But I mostly sat around talking to the guys about stuff guys talk about in locker rooms."

John Huggan talks to Geoff Ogilvy about his win at Doral on the eve of the Masters.

Rain delays during both the third and fourth rounds forced the event into a fifth day, a state of affairs that inevitably weighs heaviest on the man with most to lose, the tournament leader.

"The last thing I wanted was more time to think about what was going on," admits Ogilvy. "Everyone who plays golf knows that the more you think about something the worse it generally gets. So sitting around wasn't great. I just had to sit around and wait because we never knew exactly what was going to happen. My wife and kids came over for a bit.

"But I mostly sat around talking to the guys about stuff guys talk about in locker rooms. Sex and sports basically!

"Having said that, I enjoyed playing in the last group on Saturday, even with the delays. For me, it was an ideal pairing. I play with Adam (Scott] all the time and who doesn't want to play with Tiger in the last group? So that was perfect."

"I Tell You What, Veterans Can Kiss My Ass"

Here's a better version of the Bubba moment at New Orleans. I do believe that's an accurate quote, but I'm open to other interpretations. It's a classic.

Bubba and Elk Agree: The Sennheiser 816 Is The Golf Innovation Of The Year

I'll see if I can get a less Shell's Wonderful World of Golf circa-1962 quality version of this on the rebroadcast, but the audio comes in just fine. Sit back and enjoy the tension, courtesy of reader Chuck! (From round 2 of the Zurich Classic, probably picked up by the same sound instruments detailed earlier this week.)

Update on 2008-03-29 01:45 by Geoff

Well there's more here we don't know because Bubba apologized after his round according to PGATour.com.

Bubba Watson moved quickly to diffuse a tense situation that developed between he and playing partners Steve Elkington and Shigeki Maruyama during the second round of the Zurich Classic of New Orleans.

After he finished his round, Watson apologized for any misunderstanding that might have happened among the threesome. Watson apparently heard some movement while he was playing a shot and lashed out at Elkington and Maruyama.

"Who knows what (the movement) was,'' he said. "I was already mad for the day and I just took it out on them and I shouldn't have. I want to apologize to everyone in the tournament, whoever heard it, whoever saw it and especially to Steve and Shigeki and their caddies."

Tournament director Arvin Ginn spoke to the three players in the scorer's tent following the round. He said they were "very gentlemanly about the whole thing. They shook hands and there's no incident here.''

Steve Elkington was not asked about the incident in his post round interview. Guess they had the volume turned down in the press center!

Celebrity Chef Grazed By Bullet At Zurich Classic; Hillary Clinton Reportedly Jealous

From AP:

Paul Prudhomme was setting up his cooking tent on the practice range at the Zurich Classic of New Orleans golf event when he felt a sting in his right arm, just above his elbow.

Prudhomme shook his shirt sleeve and a .22 caliber bullet fell to the ground, a spokesman for the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office said.

Deputies believe Prudhomme was hit by a falling bullet, probably shot about 9:30 a.m. Tuesday from somewhere within a 1 1/2-mile radius of the golf course, said Col. John Fortunato. The celebrated chef didn't require medical attention.

"He thought it was a bee sting," Fortunato said. "Within five minutes, he was back to doing his thing."

Witnesses said the bullet cut Prudhomme's skin on his arm and put a hole in his white chef's coat. But Prudhomme continued cooking until he left the course about 3:30 p.m.

Prudhomme was at the course to cook for players, their caddies and guests at the annual PGA Tour event, which begins Thursday and runs through Sunday.

Prudhomme, who grew up outside Opelousas, rose to prominence after being named the first American-born executive chef of New Orleans restaurant Commander's Palace in 1975. He landed on the national stage as the chef-owner of K-Paul's Louisiana Kitchen. He's also appeared several times as a guest on television network morning news shows and late-night talk shows.

If Hillary only had been so lucky. 

“These guys would bitch about ice cream.”

Jim McCabe offers a mix of thoughts on the season to date. My favorites:

After hearing all the talk about those bad greens at the Bay Hill Club, you wanted to remind the players that Arnold Palmer won all 62 of his PGA Tour tournaments — including those seven majors — on greens that were probably worse than what they were playing on that week.

Then again, that goes along with what Ed Dougherty once said about the fickle nature of professional golfers: “These guys would bitch about ice cream.”

And...

Let me see if I have this right: Ten players who had to come back Monday morning to finish the $8 million CA Championship were then whisked off in limousines to the Miami airport where private jets took them to Orlando where helicopters then relayed them to Isleworth for a VIP corporate outing? Yeah, that sounds like the way Byron Nelson and Jug McSpaden made their way out of town after winning the Miami Four-ball March 11, 1945.

"The next time a photographer shoots a !@#$%&* picture I'm going to break his !@#$%&* neck."

Lawrence Donegan reports on Tiger's latest unfortunate incident with photographers.

The world No1 made birdie at his penultimate hole but was then reliant on others slipping up. They did not, and he finished on 15 under par, two behind Ogilvy's winning score. "I thought seven birdies in a row," he said afterwards when asked if he had any idea of what was required to extend his streak before play started. "But I made too many mistakes. I had four three-putts in the week, two bad lies in bunkers and a photographer got me on the 9th hole yesterday. All in all, to only finish two shots back was a pretty good effort."

The photographer in question fired off some shots on his backswing at the par-three hole on Sunday, and Woods ended up making bogey. It is debatable whether or not the incident cost him the tournament, but it will have cost him a few thousand dollars in PGA Tour fines after he hurled a few epithets at the snappers, the most of choice of which was: "The next time a photographer shoots a fucking picture I'm going to break his fucking neck."

The PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem takes a dim view of such tantrums and has fined the famously foul-mouthed Woods a fortune over the years. He will do so again.

"Maybe sometimes you bounce it through a fairway and get into the rough, but really it's not that bad a spot."

After his WGC win at Doral, Geoff Ogilvy was asked about hitting just 44.64% of his fairways.

GEOFF OGILVY: There's a lot of holes, I mean, the fairways hit stat can be a little bit -- like 16, you go for a green, that's a fairway you're going to miss but it's the right play. That's four fairways that I missed that I would have maybe hit.I don't know, I mean, the fairways bunkers are very playable. If you hit it in a fairway bunker, especially after they pat them down, they're actually a nice place to be. There's no massive penalty being in a fairway bunker. The Bermuda rough, when you're in the thick bit, it's horrible. But when you're in a not-so-thick bit you can advance to the green and at least give yourself a chance for up-and-downs or pars.

The greens weren't firm enough or they weren't fast enough this week, especially after round 2. They really get fiery if you start getting flyers over the greens out of the rough, but actually to hit it out of the rough and stop it on greens and stuff, it's just one of those things.

I don't think it's a bad thing that you can miss fairways and make birdies. You should obviously have to think about where you should hit your tee shot, miss them in the right spots, get penalized for missing fairways on the wrong sides. But out here if you miss the fairways on the correct sides you've got a chance. I don't know, I mean, maybe I just had one of those weeks where I just always had good lies and always had a chance.

And...

Q. And even with that kind of run going, because of the way your driving wasn't quite on, did you ever feel comfortable with the fact that you were getting away with pars?

GEOFF OGILVY: I never really felt like I was getting away with them. There's a certain -- there's five or six holes out here that are really hard and really key holes. 3, 4, 13, 18, holes that you really have to hit proper golf shots on. You can't miss the fairways. You've got to hit real golf shots. Every single time I played one of the really, really tough holes, I hit proper golf shots. I hit the 18th green four times in a row. Well, I was on the fringe, I think, maybe Friday. Actually I missed the 18th fairway on the second round, but it was in play, it was not a bad spot. Today I got a lucky chip and I played 13 quite well.

I hit the key holes well, and then the other holes, like the 1st hole you can miss the fairway, get away with it. Sometimes you get a shot at the green. The second hole, it's a smash driver up, and sometimes the rough isn't that bad.

The holes there were important to hit good shots off the tee, I did most of the time, and maybe when I was slashing away at a few of the drivers -- some of these holes you just want to get as close to the green as you can, get as far up you can. Maybe sometimes you bounce it through a fairway and get into the rough, but really it's not that bad a spot.

And this was a nice anecdote unrelated to the above...

Q. Speaking of family, have you had any contact with your parents this week?

GEOFF OGILVY: Early in the week.

Q. I was just wondering, were they going to stay up until 2 a.m. to watch the finish today? Was it on live?

GEOFF OGILVY: My dad probably was in bed. My mom would have been in front of the computer. If it was on TV she would have been watching. If it wasn't she would have been watching the screen on the computer. She doesn't sleep much when I play.

God Must Really Hate The Tavistock Cup...

...what with this silly rain delay forcing the boys to come back at 8:30 a.m. to finish up the WGC at Doral. Larry Dorman reports that Geoff Ogilvy was about the only player who would spend a few minutes with the scribblers, while Jeremy Fowler tells us far more than we ever wanted to know about how the Tavistock Cup and how the demonstration of conspicuous consumption will go on.

"The best golfer of all time and the best gallery-puller of all time."

Geoff Ogilvy's post round press conference at Doral is worth a read.

Steve Elling condenses the best lines in this blog post.

“Just a habit"

Doug Ferguson answers a question some readers had about Steve Williams's typical move of discarding his caddie bib before the final putt dropped. In the case of Bay Hill, was it because he knew Tiger was going to make the putt, or because Stevie was just being Stevie the hall of fame luggage toter that he is.

According to his caddie, Tiger Woods had about a 1-in-15 chance of making that downhill, 25-foot birdie putt on the final hole to win at Bay Hill last week.

But upon further review, Steve Williams must have been confident it was going in.

Look at a replay of Woods standing over the putt, and Williams is in the background with his caddie bib already removed. If Woods had missed, there would have been a playoff with Bart Bryant.

This was brought to Williams’ attention Thursday. He thought about it, then smiled.

“Just a habit,” he said.

One can only assume the “habit” was taking off his bib on the 18th green. It had been seven years since Woods was in the final group and made a birdie putt on the 72nd hole to win.

"I have a little bit of a problem with criticizing somebody when you're on time."

Steve Elling reports on Sean O'Hair's reaction to Johnny Miller's criticism of slow play and in particular, O'Hair's pace at Bay Hill.

"As far as last week, I actually heard that I was criticized a little bit more than Tampa. The thing I don't understand is that we played the front nine in 1:42. We waited on every single shot on the back nine. So when you're watching the telecast, is he sitting there saying that? No.

"I mean, to me what does it matter if I take two practice swings or eight practice swings? I do what I have to do to play well. Obviously what I'm doing right now is right. But I think it's a little unfair to criticize somebody about their routine and talk about how slow they are when basically you're waiting on every single shot.

"We waited for almost ten minutes on the 16th tee, and I took eight practice swings because obviously we were just standing there not doing anything. If I walked up to the 16th tee and the fairway was clear, I might have taken two or three practice swings. You know, he can say what he wants to say. I can't control that. But I have a little bit of a problem with criticizing somebody when you're on time."

So if you are waiting on schedule you can take over a minute and a half to play a shot? That's just not going to fly. Now, maybe once in a while I can understand a 90 second grind if it's an absurdly difficult shot, but just to go through too many practice swings after not being ready when the green cleared?

Penalty shots really do need to be assessed. O'Hair's thinking speaks to the mentality of too many players better than just about any rationalization I can recall.

"Proposed new slogan: These guys are ballers."

From Alan Shipnuck's golf.com Hot List:

5. The Bay Hill parking lot. With so many players making their homes in Orlando, it's a chance to celebrate conspicuous consumption: two Lamborghinis, a Ford GTO, and too many Escalades, AMG'd Mercedes and Motorsports BMWs to count. Plus enough rims and tinted windows to supply a half dozen rap videos. Proposed new slogan: These guys are ballers.

"It was a 5-iron from 164 yards"

Doug Ferguson writes that Tiger's putt was nice, but the approach on 18 Sunday at Bay Hill was even more amazing. Thanks to reader Patrick for this, which includes quotes from Hank Haney:

It was a 5-iron from 164 yards, and those two numbers are but one example why this was an exquisite shot.

The wind had switched and was coming into him from the right. The flag was tucked behind the lake on a green framed by rocks. Bunkers guard the back of the green, which slopes toward the water.

And the most important detail? Woods was on the 18th hole, tied for the lead.

He could have hit an 8-iron that distance, even in this scenario. It's surprising to hear Woods' club selection over various shots, considering his strength, yet Haney said Woods is all about control, and he prefers to use more club than usual in the wind.

"The hardest thing to do under pressure is play a delicate shot," Haney said. "Under the hardest conditions, you'd rather have a shot that you can swing at hard. All he could talk about was the shot on 18. He told me, 'I knew if I didn't do it right, I could upshoot it into the wind and it's in the water. If I flipped it, I hit it in the back bunker.' He had to commit to do it correctly. And he pulled it off.

"That was phenomenal. That made him feel good."

Tavistock Cup News!

Always one of my most cherished naps of the year, there's news on the annual matches between the rich guys from Lake Nona and the richer guys from Isleworth.  

Thomas Bonk wonders how Ernie Els can be too tired to play Bay Hill yet still can find the energy to play in next week's Tavistock Cup.

Speaking of the $3.88 million event, its founder and the lone funder of those carbon footprint killing helicopter rides for Tavistock contestants took a bath on the Bear Stearns collapse.

British billionaire Joseph Lewis made his fortune gambling on currencies. His recent investment in Bear Stearns (BSC, news, msgs) has turned out to be a disastrous bet.

The elusive septuagenarian is one the biggest losers from the New York investment bank's problems. In just a few months, he has lost almost all of the $1.1 billion he spent building up his roughly 9.6% stake in Bear, which agreed last night to be acquired by JPMorgan Chase (JPM, news, msgs) for just $2 a share.

"At this year’s Honda Classic the “Bear Trap” netted an astounding 356 over par, compared with last year’s 254 over par, proving the improvements enhanced not only the quality of the course, but also its difficulty."

I can't say that I can ever recall a press release going out celebrating the increased difficulty of a course, or in this case, the dreaded "Bear Trap." Until now... 

Much-Feared “Bear Trap” Ranks as Toughest Three-Hole Stretch in Professional Golf
 
Palm Beach Gardens, FL (March 14, 2008) –  South African Ernie Els and his fellow PGA tour players kicked off the Florida Swing at The Honda Classic,  recently taking the stage on “The Champ” course at PGA National Resort & Spa.  After two separate rounds of renovations in as many years, The Champ proved to be as formidable an opponent as the players themselves with the course’s daunting “Bear Trap” – a series of three holes, starting with No. 15 - continuing to test the game and spirit of the best players in modern golf.  At this year’s Honda Classic the “Bear Trap” netted an astounding 356 over par, compared with last year’s 254 over par, proving the improvements enhanced not only the quality of the course, but also its difficulty.
 
“We are thrilled with the extensive renovations by Nicklaus Design and Superior Golf Concepts,” said PGA National Resort & Spa managing director, Joel Paige.  “The combined scores from holes 15, 16 and 17 have shown that our “Bear Trap” offers professional golfers the toughest three-hole stretch anywhere in the world.”

 I'm booking my trip to Palm Beach Gardens as soon as possible.