"It’s a cross between a discount motel and a beachside nursing home!"

As if Tiger doesn't have enough on his plate, now he has the local gossip columnist bashing his wife's taste in home architecture.

It’s a cross between a discount motel and a beachside nursing home! But hey, from what I’ve been told, Woods’ Swedish missus, Elin Nordegren, is calling the shots on this one. Woods bought four adjacent properties on the tony island for a Martin County-record $44.5 million in 2006. He then tore down the existing homes on the 12 acres, including a classic-looking manse. The new 9,700-square-foot home is split between the living quarters (right on the photo above) and a gym (left side). Both sides will be connected with a glass-covered walkway, according to the blue prints. Good thing the plans call for so much foliage around the house that few passers-by will be able to see it!

Faldo Knighted; Queen Offers Address Position Advice?

Courtesy of Jay Busbee at Yahoo.

I think she's tell him to keep the right shoulder lower at address? Using a sword's a bit over the top, no? Or maybe that was all they had lying around? Wait, what? It's part of the ceremony? Oh, sorry.

Still, I'm not so sure about the right knee on the velvet stool that she bought from Liberace? Maybe an old Leadbetter drill?

 

No Loch Ness Monster, But Plenty Of Golf Balls

Thanks to reader Al for this CNN story on the Danish Golf Union discovering that it takes between 100 and 1,000 years for golf balls to decompose, and that an estimated 300 million are lost or discarded annually.

This was the most amazing part:

The scale of the dilemma was underlined recently in Scotland, where scientists -- who scoured the watery depths in a submarine hoping to discover evidence of the prehistoric Loch Ness monster -- were surprised to find hundreds of thousands of golf balls lining the bed of the loch.

Apparently the Loch is considered a driving range by locals. Lovely. The video evidence:

"I suggested to Tiger several months ago that now he's in the golf course design business that maybe he bring one of his guys down here to take a look"

There seems to be no shortage of talk about Tiger's appearance fee in Australia and a calculated effort to spin it as a chance for him to brush up on his design expertise, not for the $3 million he's reportedly receiving.

Mark Hayes and Michael Warner in the Herald Sun talked to Sunshine Stevie Williams and lived to write about it:

The golfing superstar was holed up inside his luxury Southbank hotel suite, but continued his pre-Masters reconnaissance mission by sending his caddie to inspect the course.

Steve Williams spent two hours recording distances on all 18 holes in a sign his boss is determined to earn his giant $3 million pay packet.

"I suggested to Tiger several months ago that now he's in the golf course design business that maybe he bring one of his guys down here to take a look," Williams revealed.

"And he's done that, because in such a small, concentrated area, you've got some of the best courses in the world. The design and the bunkering on this course is unique and very, very good.

"I'm sure he (Tiger) will be looking at it tomorrow."

Now, if he goes to see some other courses in his spare time like Crenshaw would, then we'll know he really is serious about this design stuff.

Meanwhile on the appearance fee, Peter Stone opened his story today with this anecdote:

TIGER WOODS is relentless in his pursuit of Jack Nicklaus's record 18 major victories - with just four left to equal the Golden Bear. So, with a sense of mischief, let's suggest another way he could emulate the great Nicklaus.

We'll go back to the 1975 Australian Open, the first of four opens sponsored by the late Kerry Packer at The Australian, when Nicklaus headlined the field for a modest appearance fee.

Like Woods, Nicklaus was undisputed world No.1 at the time. Nicklaus asked Packer what prizemoney was on offer that week and, when told, Nicklaus immediately added his fee to the purse, which brought total prizemoney to $35,000.

So began the Packer/Nicklaus solution to appearance money. In following years, each invited player was paid $6000 and, in 1976, total prizemoney was lifted to $200,000.

This week, the Australian Masters purse is $1.5 million and Woods is reportedly receiving a $US3m ($3.3m) appearance fee.

Would Woods do the same as Nicklaus this week? Dream on.

But most of the fretting over the amount looks like it'll prove futile, because as Steve Elling notes, the event is looking like a hit, no thanks to Greg Norman:

But hand it to the Aussies, they had not seen Woods in 11 years, and he once again proved to be the game's ultimate show pony. Officials reported selling all 100,000 tickets (capped at $44 Australian dollars per round) for the week, and presumably, the Victorian government has a chance of finishing in the black once all the hotel stays, car rentals and incidentals are tolled. By the way, the tax hit in Australia is a shade under 50 percent in this bracket, so Woods will be contributing to the Oz coffers himself, too. Ah, economics in the 21st century, huh?

And judging by Patrick Smith's cranky reaction, someone in IMG's PR department has done a fine job overprepping the media for Tiger's arrival.

The reaction it must be said was childish and so fevered that normally sensible people lost the plot. Helicopters chopped above Essendon Airport, TV cameras covered this angle, that angle. Print journalists jotted down his every move. Even moves he might have made but didn't.
When he set his left foot on the tarmac, the world's greatest golfer said: "This is one small step for Tiger, one giant leap for golf". Or apparently words to that effect. Tiger's entourage is apparently colour-coded to make it easier to control them. It was noted who went into the different-coloured cars. Even the luggage van was described to radio listeners.

"Think of the fun you would have, shaping shots to fit the contours of the land instead of mindlessly blasting away."

John Huggan offers nine ways Tiger Woods could improve. I'm partial to these two:

5. Use persimmon woods
Again, like the one-trip-a-year thing, you wouldn't have to do this too often. But my goodness it would be fun to see you taking on technology in such an overt way. Think of the fun you would have, shaping shots to fit the contours of the land instead of mindlessly blasting away.

6. Speak out more
Like everyone else who has been to even one of your press conferences, I'm bored to tears listening to you trot out the same old, trite phrases. You seem to think it is clever to give nothing away, but if I hear you say, "it is what it is," or "this course is all there in front of you" even one more time I will run screaming from the media centre. It isn't as if you have to be that controversial; I'd settle for interesting. So let's hear what you really think of the terribly predictable way tour courses are set up these days. Let's hear how you feel about the way modern technology has all but destroyed creativity and imagination at the top end of the game.

Tiger And Phil In Last Group

First time since 2005, says Doug Ferguson. Golf Channel provides final round coverage starting at 7 PM Pacific.

Sharp Park Survives First Major Hurdle

Thanks to reader Dean for Rachel Gordon's SF Insider blog entry on the SF Park and Recreation report release (Friday-at-6:30 pm!!) recommending the salvation of Sharp Park as an 18-hole course, with some pricey design changes to accommodate the endangered species.

The entire report can be read here.

Update on 2009-11-09 03:16 by Geoff

Wayne Freeman of the San Francisco ABC affiliate filed this report:

"Researchers found that golfers could reduce their handicap after a few months of using a night-time device that provides nasal positive airway pressure"

From The Irish Times...not The Onion:

GOLF: GOLFERS WITH the night-time breathing disorder obstructive sleep apnea can improve their game and cut their handicap by up to three strokes by treating their sleeping problem, according to a small US study.

Researchers found that golfers could reduce their handicap after a few months of using a night-time device that provides nasal positive airway pressure (NPAP) – a treatment that has been shown effective for curbing sleep apnea.

The study was based on 24 golfers and saw their average handicap fall significantly from 12.4 to 11.0. The effect was even more pronounced in better golfers with a handicap of 12 or under whose average handicap dropped from 9.2 to 6.3.

“The surprise was that the most significant improvement was noted in the lower handicap golfers, many of whom were older,” researcher Dr Marc Benton said.

Benton estimated that there are one to three million regular golfers in the United States who suffer from sleep apnea, and most are undiagnosed or untreated.

Obstructive sleep apnea is a disorder in which the tissues at the back of the throat temporarily collapse during sleep, causing repeated stops and starts in breathing during the night. This leads to poor-quality sleep and, often, daytime drowsiness, fatigue, and cognitive impairment.

I'm guessing this isn't on the PGA Tour's banned list?

Kostis Calls For Purse "Rollback"

Retired Tweeter Peter Kostis has never been a fan of a ball rollback but he believes the PGA Tour should immediately cut all purses 10%, sending five percent of the savings to charity and the other five back to sponsors.

I'm sure the stand-up guy he is, Kostis has offered CBS a similar deal. Cut 10% of his pay and give half to the Les Moonves's bonus fund and the other half back to CBS.

Everyone is down, and spending in golf is seen as a very bad corporate idea when people are being laid off.

We need to have an immediate 10 percent rollback in purse structures. Of that rollback, 5 percent should go to local charities of the event and 5 percent should go back to the sponsor.

The Tour is fond of two words: partners and charity, and both need some help, a lot more than Tiger Woods needs another $10 million. If we can highlight the Tour's good charitable work and make some short-term concessions to the sponsors, then maybe we can change the perception that golf is a rich guy's game isolated from the concerns and problems of regular working people. Because golf is the game of regular working people, as you can see every day at your local muni.

And as a country club member, Peter can attest!