Why Tiger Has A Yacht Named Privacy Files: "Tiger’s programmed multiple personalities and memory blocks can be turned on and off like a switch with system themes and trigger words."

Thanks to reader SMR for one of the most wildly entertaining radio bits I've heard in a long time. Though it's dated January 2, the comedic value here is timeless.

The Conspiracy Show, you see, welcomed Nelson Thall to discuss his theory that Tiger Woods is a super cyber athlete, a "junior Manchurian candidate," with a Nazi inspired marriage coupling via one of Dr. Josef Mengele's proud creations, Elin Nordegren!

You will not be able to stop listening. Here's the website synopsis:

Tune in and discover how, according to Thall, Tiger’s artificially split mind is run exactly like a computer program, complete with its own secret themes, triggers, codes and access words. Tiger’s programmed multiple personalities and memory blocks can be turned on and off like a switch with system themes and trigger words. An alternate multiple personas won’t emerge unless the right trigger word/song/phrase is uncovered and given. Tiger’s father, Earl D. Woods, was fond of making bold pronouncements that Tiger would one day outdo Buddha, Gandhi and Mandela in world influence. Earl, a former U.S. lieutenant colonel green beret in Vietnam, admitted that he used among other things CIA Phoenix Program (trauma based) prisoner-of-war interrogation techniques to program Tiger in infancy as early as 10 months old. Who were Earl Woods’ major influences in forming prisoner-of-war interrogation techniques to mind control Tiger?

Mark McCormack?

Go on...

They were major war criminals, occult High Priests of Wotan, some of the most dangerous and treacherous personalities in history.

The CIA Phoenix Program, an illegal war crime assassination, neutralization, and hamlet resettlement program, started in 1967 under CIA agent and National Security Council (NSC) staffer, Robert Komer. Komer’s boss on NSC was Nazi war criminal Brigadefuhrer SS Fritz Kraemer. Komer’s assistants were William Colby and Ted Shackley. Komer, Colby and Shackley reported to Director of Central Intelligence (DCI), Richard Helms. U.S. Army Green Beret troops were the Stormtroopers of the Phoenix Program. They abducted, interrogated, assassinated and summarily executed suspected Vietnamese sympathizers, collaborators and agents.

Richard Helms interviewed Adolf Hitler for UPI during the 1936 Olympics. In 1948, Helms welcomed Hitler’s spymaster, Reinhart Gehlen, and his spy network into the CIA (U.S. government payroll) as a “great intelligence producer.”[ Gehlen’s network included some of the most dangerous individuals on the planet; SS Captain Otto Albrecht von Bolschwing, SS Major Emil Augsburg, Gestapo Captain Klaus Barbie, SS Captain Josef Mengele, and Hitler’s Commando SS Lieutenant Colonel Otto Skorzeny. The CIA’s Phoenix Program expert consultant interrogators, torturers and assassins were the Nazis, the SS and Gestapo. Otto Skorzeny’s Paladin Group developed and trained U.S. Army Green Berets.

Oh yeah, that's a seemless leap!

Tiger’s infancy mind control programming also has a Nazi precedent. Reichsfurhrer Heinrich Himmler’s Lebensborn program may have been the grandparent of the Monarch Program, a subproject of the CIA/MK ULTRA. Creating ‘racially pure’ Aryan babies was the aim of the Lebensborn program; world domination was its ultimate goal. Monarch sought to create in infancy junior Manchurian Candidates with multiple personalities, each trained to perform a specific specialty. The kids were programmed to respond to codes, mnemonic cues, and audio-reversed triggers and tones.

This is the point where Elin gets dragged into the thing and, well, you just have to listen to it.

“What you’re seeing is that sports are becoming more relevant to more people.”

SBJ's John Ourand asks how high rights fees can go after another stellar Olympic rights battle and recent deals with college conferences, but does not mention the PGA Tour other than a chart valuing the average annual value of the PGA Tour television contract at $491.7 million.

“The market is very, very robust,” said CBS Sports Chairman Sean McManus. “Each of the parties that’s spending this money must be figuring out a way to justify the rights that they are paying.”

The huge increases may have the feel of a market bubble, having grown so much in such a short amount of time. But veteran sports media executives believe the prices accurately reflect the value of the rights and have room to grow.

“Have sports rights peaked? I don’t think they have,” said NHL Chief Operating Officer John Collins. “What you’re seeing is that sports are becoming more relevant to more people.”

And it's all about cable.

Cable TV channels view sports programming as the easiest way to increase ratings and the license fees that distributors pay. Today, several cable networks actively are trying to add sports to their schedules, which, sports media executives say, is the main reason why media rights fees are rising so quickly.

Comcast wants more sports on Versus. Fox is putting more sports on FX. Turner is trying to build up truTV’s sports assets. And, of course, ESPN needs reams of sports content for its multiple TV channels, broadband platforms and mobile applications.

And great news for the PGA Tour, they...oh wait, what? Oh that's right they're locked into Golf Channel exclusively over 15 years, unless NBC wants to re-write the deal and throw some programming to Versus.

Vijay Has A Supporter!

My Golf World colleague Tim Rosaforte, responding to the criticism of Vijay for no-showing to Monday's U.S. Open Sectional qualifier in Columbus, writes in this week's issue that "it's understandable and excusable that the 48-year-old Hall-of-Famer didn't want to participate in the exhausting 36-hole process of U.S. Open Sectional Qualifying."

Even though Vijay received an exemption last year and even though he entered this year, Rosie the reasoner believes that Singh's fatigue with shooting 71 or 72 every day and needing to recharge the batteries was A-okay.

I'm good with that. Vijay is not required to play. 

What I think most of us have a problem with is not phoning in a WD when he knew after his final round 65 that he had no intention of playing.

U.S. Open 24-Year Sellout Streak On The Line?

I suppose it depends on your definition of a sellout...For Immediate Release:

LIMITED TICKETS STILL AVAILABLE FOR 2011 U.S. OPEN

Far Hills, N.J. (June 8) – Limited tickets remain for the 2011 U.S. Open at Congressional Country Club in Bethesda, Md.  

Daily Grounds and Trophy Club tickets for the practice rounds (Monday, June 13-Wednesday, June 15) and the opening championship round (Thursday, June 16) will be available for purchase on-site at Congressional. For the practice rounds, prices are $50 for daily Grounds tickets and $75 for daily Trophy Club tickets. For the first day of the championship (Thursday, June 16), Grounds tickets are $110 and Trophy Club tickets are $185.

Beginning Thursday, June 9, tickets can be purchased on-site at the U.S. Open Will Call located at the Main Admission Gate. Will Call hours of operation for Thursday, June 9 through Sunday, June 12 are 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. This on-site sale of tickets coincides with the U.S. Open pre-championship merchandise sale taking place in the merchandise pavilion during the same hours.

Beginning Monday, June 13, remaining tickets can be purchased at the Main Will Call and the Clubhouse Will Call between 6 a.m. and 7 p.m., while supplies last.

Each buyer is permitted to purchase up to four tickets for each day. Tickets include complimentary general parking and shuttle transportation to and from the parking area and the championship entrance. Cameras are permitted on practice-round days only (June 13-15), providing an opportunity to photograph the world’s best golfers as they prepare to compete in the national championship.

Junior tickets are always available on-site at Will Call and at all admission gates during the championship. Juniors age 12 and younger will be admitted free of charge any day when accompanied by an adult ticket holder. Tickets for juniors 13 to 17 years old will be available for purchase at a reduced rate of $15 for practice rounds and $35 for championship rounds. There is a maximum of two junior tickets per one adult ticket holder. Junior tickets permit Trophy Club access only when accompanied by an adult Trophy Club ticket holder. Junior tickets do not permit 1895 Club access.

The U.S. Open has sold out for 24 consecutive years. For more information about pricing, parking and a list of prohibited items, visit www.USOPEN.com.

The Long, Ugly SilverRock Saga Continues

Larry Bohannan reports the Arnold Palmer-designed course in La Quinta has been dropped from the new Hope rotation, which only has room for three courses.

At a reported cost of at least $58 million, this one has to go down as one of the great tragedies of modern design. The city had a lovely site, an open bidding process with a wide variety of architects offering ideas for something different in desert golf, but all along the job was going to Palmer because of his name. They poured massive sums into building it, then put more money in to fix design flaws pointed out by the tour, only to get just a few Bob Hopes and little in the way of positive buzz.

Say Your Prayers For The Congressional Maintenance Staff

The greens were rebuilt after the 2009 AT&T National and some of us questioned rebuilding greens so close to a national championship, but the USGA gave the thumb's up and by all accounts, the grass has been doing fine. But this weather forecast--record highs possible the next two days--is going to test superintendent Mike Giuffre and staff.

Giuffre talks to GCSAA TV about the benefits of the SubAir system in the greens that will surely be put to use the next few days, but technology can only do so much for bent grass greens in 100 degree heat when cut at 1/8 of an inch.

Tiger Out Of The U.S. Open

He tweets the news:

And from his website:

"I am extremely disappointed that I won't be playing in the U.S. Open, but it's time for me to listen to my doctors and focus on the future," Woods said. "I was hopeful that I could play, but if I did, I risk further damage to my left leg. My knee and Achilles tendon are not fully healed. I hope to be ready for AT&T National, the next two majors and the rest of the year."

Update on 2011-06-07 23:38 by Geoff

**From Doug Ferguson, AP:

"It's been a frustrating and difficult year, but I'm committed to my longterm health," Woods said. "I want to thank the fans for their encouragement and support. I am truly grateful and will be back playing when I can."
The question is when he returns.

Woods is recovering from injuries to his left knee ligaments and left Achilles', and his Achilles' is believed to be giving him more trouble.

"My man is hurting," Arjun Atwal, a close friend and frequent practice partner, said last week at the Memorial. "He's in a boot, he's on crutches. Not doing good."

Bob Harig, ESPN.com:

We haven't seen him on a golf course since, and he wasn't scheduled to even begin trying to get back on his feet until last week. And he was supposed to play the U.S. Open in a little over a week? With 9 holes of competition since the Masters?

He is far better off skipping it, getting healthy, and focusing on the rest of the year, the rest of his career.

Steve Elling talked to the USGA's Mike Davis who confirmed the timing and details of the WD and that Tiger did try to test out the injury before making his decision.

"I talked to Mark last Friday and that was the first day, I believe, that Tiger was going to try to hit balls, to go slowly to see if it went well. I guess it didn't."

Ron Sirak analyzes the latest news and also takes us through the recent timeline of the current injury, which still seems odd considering the appearance of physical well being during the China trip.

In April, after a business trip to China and Korea following a T-4 finish at the Masters, Woods was diagnosed with a Grade 1 mild medial collateral ligament sprain to his left knee and a mild strain to his left Achilles tendon, according to his spokespeople. Woods said the injuries were suffered while hitting a second shot from under the Eisenhower tree at hole No. 17 during the third round at the Masters.

Tiger skipped the Wells Fargo Championship and withdrew after nine holes in the first round at the Players after shooting a 42. He said at the time he had reinjured his leg on the opening tee shot.