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A New Low: The FedExCup Rap

The word pathetic comes to mind annually when watching the PGA Tour attempt to make FedEx feel like they are getting their $50 million or so dollars for sponsoring the lamest "playoff" in sports, but rarely are the attempts in any way awkward, brutally annoying or disturbing in the amount of man hours so clearly devoted to the cause.

Until now.

Alex Myers posted the video of the agonizing "FedExCup Rap" put together by the PGA Tour, perhaps in conjunction with NBC because I do think I remember waking from one of my Tour Championship naps to the frightening image of Charl Schwartzel attempting to be cool, then turning the channel.

If you want to feel the agony of the entire sad spectacle, Ryan Ballengee has transcribed the lyrics.

FedEx this baby down to Guantanmo. Priority Overnight!

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Reader Comments (20)

"I gonna take my 10 mill,
And then I'll buy me some blow,
I'm gonna snort it off the ass of a pancake shop Ho'.....
Uh huh, uh huh,
I'm a FedEx Cup Playah,
Uh huh, uh huh,
I'm a FedEx Cup Playah......"
09.24.2013 | Unregistered CommenterPeterMcPumpkin
May be the single worst thing I have ever seen. They need to destroy that.
09.24.2013 | Unregistered CommenterTerryMalloy
That is truly awful.
09.24.2013 | Unregistered Commentertour caddy 60
The golf boys are much better
09.24.2013 | Unregistered CommenterCarl Spachler
The best part is I have no idea who 2 of those guys are and I watched every fedex cup event.
09.24.2013 | Unregistered CommenterBilly D
I was going to say that white dudes shouldn't rap, but then realized the Tour hasn't a lot of options.
09.24.2013 | Unregistered CommenterAG
AG, the best selling rapper of all-time is as white an an OB stake and his lead over #2 is a fair bit bigger than the one Tiger currently has in the OWGR! To boot, two of the top-4 all-time are's ok, go on out there and get yer' body movin'...!!

That said, don't these guys have any ability to say no? The Golf Boys will make the Bad Videos Hall of Fame for sure, but that FedEx video debacle is First-Ballot stuff.
09.24.2013 | Unregistered CommenterDTF
Yeah, but does Eminem play golf? Those of you who clicked on that one are a brave lot.
09.24.2013 | Unregistered CommenterKLG
MATCH PLAY MUST BE IMPLEMENTED SOMEHWERE INTO THE FEDEX OR IT ISN'T A "PLAYOFF". Doesn't the word playoff include the concept of, "Lose one and your done?" The current format is a round robin with an unimportant shrinking field after each event. Unimportant because the field starts out large enough to make the shrinking insignificant.
09.24.2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoe Hacker
Ohhh. Rap, not as in a criticism, not Rap as in rhyming spoken word set to music. I was wondering why the thread about rap music dominated the discussion.
09.24.2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoe Hacker
Ohhh. Rap, not as in a criticism, but Rap as in rhyming spoken word set to music. I was wondering why the thread about rap music dominated the discussion.
09.24.2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoe Hacker
Ky, I have no evidence that Eminem has ever set foot on a golf course...

...but Ad-Rock's brother just happens to be one Oliver Horovitz who is somewhat renowned for his book β€œAn American Caddie in St. Andrews: Growing Up, Girls, and Looping on the Old Course.”

So there is that ;)

(and the guys from Paul's Boutique were known to golf, when they weren't swimming)
09.24.2013 | Unregistered CommenterDTF
Yeah, figured on Marshall as soon as I sent it. Depends on who's defined as a rapper too though. AAs dominate the field, as they should, they invented.
09.24.2013 | Unregistered CommenterAG
This video is the epitome of golf's coolness. Wasn't there a discussion recently about how to get younger people into golf? How does this video not work like a magnet?
09.24.2013 | Unregistered CommenterHBL
Words. Fail. Me.
09.24.2013 | Unregistered CommenterBertie
Private? WTF?
09.24.2013 | Unregistered Commenterclashman
@DTF and others - this reminds me of great line from Barkeley from a few years back. You know things are getting mixed up in this country when the best rapper is white and the best golfer is black.
09.24.2013 | Unregistered CommenterBrianS
I'm not sure why but I expected more from Luke Donald. And by more I mean less rapping or whatever it was he was doing with his hands. Do rappers gesticulate?
09.24.2013 | Unregistered CommenterChina Golfer
The FedEx Cup doesn't need a rap video to make it cool. The FedEx Cup JUST IS cool.
09.25.2013 | Unregistered CommenterCOB

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