PGA Tour's New Slow Play Policy Leans On Jargon To Coddle The Turtles

Joel Beall’s “here’s what you need to know” item on the new PGA Tour slow play policy can be whittled down to telling what you jargon you need to be warned about.

Because as with so many rules shaped by the players, heavy petting is involved. Beall explains the core components, both supported by a jargony name and a long list of ways to help a slow poke get multiple opportunities to take his time before experiencing a penalty.

After setting up the backstory of how the Tour got to this point, Beall writes of the “observation list”:

An "Observation List" will be created, one that will be kept private from the public and PGA Tour membership as a whole.

And right there the policy already became less effective than it could have been.

How will a player make the list? The parameters are as follows:

—Each stroke throughout the round must be played in under 60 seconds in absence of a valid reason. If observed by an official to exceed this time, that player will be timed on an individual basis as soon as he can be notified. If the player does not have a bad time (same bad time rules as with out of position) within two holes, timing will cease.

At multi-course PGA Tour events, there is now just one rules official per nine holes. Kind of tough to be a roving rules official and be timing the slow pokes, it would seem. But, should they be able to find the time to pull out the stop clock…

—If any player is observed to take more than 120 seconds on a shot in the absence of a valid reason, he will be given an "Excessive Shot Time" and observed throughout the round by an official.

—The list will be updated on a weekly basis. Any player with an overall average of 45 seconds or more per stroke based on a 10 tournament rolling period will be on the list, along with anyone who receives two "Excessive Shot Times" in a tournament will be played on the list in subsequent tournament rounds.

Scary!

Oh but there’s the enforcement. At least the bank accounts are getting hit harder, but will we ever get to this stage?

A player will receive a warning for their first bad time. On the second, he will receive a one-stroke penalty. For each additional bad time, another one-stroke penalty will be given.

There will also be fines. Excessive Shot Times will receive $10,000 and $20,000 punishments for second and additional offenses (with the first offense receiving a warning). Though the first bad time also gets a warning, a second offense comes with a $50,000 penalty, with a $20,000 penalty attached to further offenses.

"We are not looking to hand out these penalties," Dennis said. "But players have to know they are there."

Players may know, but if players, fans and media knew they’d made the list, might that be just as effective as strokes and fines?