Tiger Exposes Jackson Pollack's Methodology And It Ain't Pretty

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Thanks to reader Tuco for this reminder that (A) contemporary art is a farce (B) that the ad gurus are consistently nauseating to listen to when describing the deep, hidden context of their lame ad campaigns and (C) that at least this is an upgrade from the spots with Tiger raving about the Enclave's family-friendly safety.

 

Tiger Has An Index?

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From a reader whose identity will be protected because really, who wants the world to know they were watching the Tavistock Cup?

Anyway, this brave viewer passed along this mind boggling anecdote from Golf Channel announcer Gary McCord:

Tiger's index at Isleworth (Course rating 77, Slope 142, length 7,500 yards) is +13.5. Which means that he'd have to give a 5 handicap a stroke a hole.

Of course I looked on GHIN and could not find an index listing for Tiger, so take that one for what it's worth. 

"The next time a photographer shoots a !@#$%&* picture I'm going to break his !@#$%&* neck."

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Lawrence Donegan reports on Tiger's latest unfortunate incident with photographers.
The world No1 made birdie at his penultimate hole but was then reliant on others slipping up. They did not, and he finished on 15 under par, two behind Ogilvy's winning score. "I thought seven birdies in a row," he said afterwards when asked if he had any idea of what was required to extend his streak before play started. "But I made too many mistakes. I had four three-putts in the week, two bad lies in bunkers and a photographer got me on the 9th hole yesterday. All in all, to only finish two shots back was a pretty good effort."

The photographer in question fired off some shots on his backswing at the par-three hole on Sunday, and Woods ended up making bogey. It is debatable whether or not the incident cost him the tournament, but it will have cost him a few thousand dollars in PGA Tour fines after he hurled a few epithets at the snappers, the most of choice of which was: "The next time a photographer shoots a fucking picture I'm going to break his fucking neck."

The PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem takes a dim view of such tantrums and has fined the famously foul-mouthed Woods a fortune over the years. He will do so again.

“Just a habit"

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Doug Ferguson answers a question some readers had about Steve Williams's typical move of discarding his caddie bib before the final putt dropped. In the case of Bay Hill, was it because he knew Tiger was going to make the putt, or because Stevie was just being Stevie the hall of fame luggage toter that he is.
According to his caddie, Tiger Woods had about a 1-in-15 chance of making that downhill, 25-foot birdie putt on the final hole to win at Bay Hill last week.

But upon further review, Steve Williams must have been confident it was going in.

Look at a replay of Woods standing over the putt, and Williams is in the background with his caddie bib already removed. If Woods had missed, there would have been a playoff with Bart Bryant.

This was brought to Williams’ attention Thursday. He thought about it, then smiled.

“Just a habit,” he said.

One can only assume the “habit” was taking off his bib on the 18th green. It had been seven years since Woods was in the final group and made a birdie putt on the 72nd hole to win.

"It was a 5-iron from 164 yards"

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Doug Ferguson writes that Tiger's putt was nice, but the approach on 18 Sunday at Bay Hill was even more amazing. Thanks to reader Patrick for this, which includes quotes from Hank Haney:
It was a 5-iron from 164 yards, and those two numbers are but one example why this was an exquisite shot.

The wind had switched and was coming into him from the right. The flag was tucked behind the lake on a green framed by rocks. Bunkers guard the back of the green, which slopes toward the water.

And the most important detail? Woods was on the 18th hole, tied for the lead.

He could have hit an 8-iron that distance, even in this scenario. It's surprising to hear Woods' club selection over various shots, considering his strength, yet Haney said Woods is all about control, and he prefers to use more club than usual in the wind.

"The hardest thing to do under pressure is play a delicate shot," Haney said. "Under the hardest conditions, you'd rather have a shot that you can swing at hard. All he could talk about was the shot on 18. He told me, 'I knew if I didn't do it right, I could upshoot it into the wind and it's in the water. If I flipped it, I hit it in the back bunker.' He had to commit to do it correctly. And he pulled it off.

"That was phenomenal. That made him feel good."

Tiger Has (Maybe Not**) Nice Place To Stay If U.S. Open Ever Returns To Shinnecock

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photo01.jpgThanks to readers Tuco and Smolmania for the New York Post story on Tiger's new $65 million home on the East End, where he too can now enjoy sitting in Hampton's traffic and complain to Punch Sulzberger that Larry Dorman's New York Times articles are too focused on Phil.

 His new neighbors in Southampton include real-estate developer Alfred Taubman, former New York Times publisher Arthur Ochs "Punch" Sulzberger and fashion designer Vera Wang.

Included in the recently renovated 19th-century manor home are six bedroom suites, a music room, a cypress wood-paneled library and staff quarters.
Stevie's got a place to stay too.
The guesthouse, which also features ocean views, includes three bedrooms, each with bathrooms, a den and a kitchen.

"It's one of the oldest and grandest estates on the East End," one broker said. "As soon as something goes on the market on Gin Lane it gets snapped up quickly, even in this slowing economy."

Woods' bid nearly landed in the rough.

"Tiger almost lost the house," a source said.

"Another buyer came in with a higher offer, but the deal was already sealed just hours before."
And I'm still kicking myself for only offering $65.1.
The seller of the estate, known as "By the Sea," is Austrian-born leveraged-buyout specialist, Gerhard Andlinger, 77.

Obviously clever home names was not part of his leveaged-buyout specialties. Now, "Buy the Sea" maybe... 

There is a slideshow of photos too.  

"It surprises me a lot of guys don't learn from the way his routine is."

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Steve Elling caught up with Tiger luggage handler Stevie Williams in a mood that could best be described as jovial, drawing these quotes out of him:

 "In 2000-01, Tiger was putting unbelievable; his putting was amazing," Williams said. "He didn't hit the ball anywhere near like he hits it now, didn't have anywhere near the array of shots and anywhere near the course management and course control. I don't even compare the two, to be honest with you."
And this is one that has crossed my mind...
 "If he was unprepared, he'd probably withdraw. He doesn't play as much as other players. I've always wondered why a lot of other guys don't take a leaf out of his book and do like he does. It surprises me a lot of guys don't learn from the way his routine is."

Of course in their defense, Tiger does keep his work out and practice programs relatively secret.  

"There went $200."

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Just how powerful is Tiger? He can distract an online poker player.

From the comments under Steve Elling's story recapping Sunday's final round, a reader named lelandjr posts:

OK. Just how 'wow' was that last birdie! I was sitting at my computer playing online poker and foolishly going all in on a pair of cowboys and was so sure that I would low. Then I look up as El Tigre's putt rolled ever so nonchalantly back towards the hole and I bent over waiting, waiting just to see what it would do. Of course, as always at these big moments, the Golf Zen Master himself soundly rolled the putt over twenty feet into the hole. And then... he gave a resounding celebration, which was well deserved after the comeback he staged this weekend. Anyway, while I was busy watching El Tigre, I thought I had went all in when in fact I still had 30 chips left. Of course my opponent raised me all in and while I wasn't paying attention, I was forced to fold (for taking too much time) and lost. There went $200. So this much I know, don't watch Tiger play golf while playing poker for money... Incredible tournament.

 

Tiger, Denis Watson Prevent Historic Bryant Brother Wins

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tiger64_r1_c1.jpgThat's right, Tiger beats out Bart Bryant and Denis Watson stops Brad Bryant in a playoff on the old geezers tour. Or did Tiger beat Brand Dennis beat Bart?

Anyway, Tiger also happened to match Ben Hogan's all time PGA Tour victory tally while winning his fifth official event in a row, and his sixth or seventh straight worldwide win, depending on whether you count the Target World Challenge.

But really, doesn't that pale when compared to stopping the Bryants?


Palmer Implores Tiger To Low Round...

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...probably knowing that with greens that bad, the only way Tiger's only coming back if he's defending.

Steve Elling reports after Saturday's third round at Bay Hill:

Palmer, who sauntered over to Phil Mickelson on the putting range and later visited Woods on the practice range, was a fount of goodwill, and coincidentally or not, the world's No. 1 seemingly took it to heart.

"He came out and watched me hit a few shots," Woods said. "He liked what I was doing with my swing and said, 'Just keep going, you're headed down the right path. Just go shoot a low one today.'"

Yes, your majesty.

Besides, what's not for Palmer to like? The king and the crowned prince have been inextricably tied for a few weeks now, ever since Woods moved past Palmer on the PGA Tour's all-time victory list, moving one peg ahead with his win last month at the Accenture Match Play Championship. It was Woods' 63rd win and he's only 32 years old.

"The way he's playing, he could double that," Palmer said Saturday.

"East Lake was just slow. These are not just slow."

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Considering Tiger's sensitivity to what he deems to be iffy greens (Pebble Beach, Riviera) and their effect on his putting stroke, you can sense his enthusiasm for Bay Hill's diseased putting surfaces:

Q. How was the course out there today?
TIGER WOODS: Well, the fairways and the tee boxes are in great shape.

Q. So talk about the greens.
TIGER WOODS: Well, they are not very good. It's going to be an interesting week on them. You're going to see a lot of guys hit good putts and they are going to go weird ways, unfortunately.

But, hey, we've all got to deal with it, we've all got to putt on them and you just have to accept hitting good putts and they may not go in but hopefully we hit enough good ones where they do go in.
And...
Q. Does this venue present as big a challenge for you as any one you're playing in the next couple of months?
TIGER WOODS: Definitely. Definitely. Especially with what we have to putt on this week. It will be quite a test.

Q. Worse than East Lake?
TIGER WOODS: East Lake was just slow. These are not just slow.

 

"We’re the electives. And there are lot more requirements now.”

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Doug Ferguson looks at Tiger Woods' increasingly picky schedule and features this epic quote from Wachovia Championship tournament director Kym Hougham on the impact of Woods essentially locked in to the majors, three WGCs, three or four (!?) playoff events and The Players Championship The PLAYERS:

“It’s a dwindling opportunity because of the majors, the WGCs, and now the playoffs,” Hougham said. “It’s like in college, when you have requirements and electives. We’re the electives. And there are lot more requirements now.”

Where Will Tiger Play?

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march4_oldpalm_299x193.jpgMichael Bamberger speculates on Tiger's limited golf options when he moves to Jupiter. The Dye Preserve would be his best choice in terms of seclusion and golf, but the drive is way too long from his new home.

If I had his millions, well, I wouldn't live in Florida, but not withstanding that minor issue it would seem the wise choice would be to build his own practice facility. That was the rumor when I was there last fall, and Lord knows there's plenty of swampland just waiting to be converted.