"I hurt my back pulling my reserved space sign out of a cement base in the parking lot at the LPGA Tour headquarters in Daytona Beach. I don't want a special space."

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Farrell Evans catches up with new LPGA Commish Mike Whan and I don't know about you, but The Metamucil Man has a nice ring to it, no?

You started your career at Procter & Gamble, where you were the lead brand manager for Metamucil and Crest, among other roles. How different is marketing Metamucil and toothpaste from women's golf?

This isn't my first time marketing to women. Crest's core audience consisted of women. But really the most important thing I think in marketing is getting to know what people want. I have spent most of my time in the new job asking questions and listening to learn the business.

And this was a great question by Farrell and quite a funny scene to imagine:

What's the funniest thing that's happened to you on the job so far?

I hurt my back pulling my reserved space sign out of a cement base in the parking lot at the LPGA Tour headquarters in Daytona Beach. I don't want a special space. This isn't the Mike Whan Tour. It's about the players, fans and corporate partners. We're all in the same foxhole.

Today's Twitter Wars And Other Assorted Embarrassing Tweets

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Seems we have a nice little Twitter spat developing between SI's Alan Shipnuck and Ryder Cup Captain Corey Pavin:


Or is it Mrs. Pavin putting the kibosh on Shipnuck?

And Stephanie Wei highlights an adorable Natalie Gulbis mistake. Make that, two mistakes.

"I think I am entitled to one testy news conference every 15 years"

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Holy Guacamole, we have an admission from the Commish that his Kapalua press conference was "testy!"

Tim Finchem, talking to Ron Sirak who sums up the business issues facing the PGA Tour in 2010 and pulls this out of a Commish well-rested following his soulful, male-bonding-heavy fishing trip with Sid Wilson and Mark Rolfing:

Finchem had a rocky pre-tournament session with reporters Tuesday as they peppered him with questions about Woods, sponsors and drug testing.

"I think I am entitled to one testy news conference every 15 years," Finchem told Golf World with a laugh after returning to the mainland. "People keep predicting that we are going to implode. Why don't they just wait for us to implode and then talk about it? It's almost as if there are some who are rooting for us to implode, and then when the Tiger thing came along, they were saying, 'Ah, this will do it.' "

It's a bit odd that he found the questions related to Tiger or drug testing to be of such a sensitive nature. Looking back on the press conference I don't see any suggestion from the scribes that they were hoping for a PGA Tour implosion, do you?

"Sometimes these people think we're stupid. It's an amazing thing to assume that we had mucked up to that degree. It's just staggering."

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The first Global Golf Post is up and in it Brian Hewitt sits down with a cranky Peter Dawson who continues to peddle the Henry Cotton-said-we-should-lengthen-the-Road-hole-nonsense to justify going over the wall for a new tee. The R&A Secretary was asked about criticism of the new tee:
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Tiger's Indefinite Leave Clippings, Investigations Edition

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Before we get into all of the investigations launched Monday, Alan Shipnuck on the mood at Kapalua and the increasingly apparent issues facing Tiger when and if he returns:

Even pals like Stricker have no feel for when Woods will return. But coming back is only the first step. For all of his wondrous physical gifts, Woods's mental toughness was always his greatest strength. With his carefully cultivated image shattered, his family potentially torn asunder and a once-adoring public now turned largely hostile, it is not a given that Tiger will ever again regain the focus, intensity and desire that defined him as a player.

Jason Sobel suggests that barring something unusual, Tiger should hold on to his No. 1 ranking, something Sobel isn't wild about.

Simply put, without being totally dominant, that shouldn't be enough golf for Tiger to retain this ranking for so long. Over this period, he won seven of those 19 starts, but failed to claim a major championship.

So, what's the explanation? According to those who run the OWGR, "Tiger Woods' average points figure will drop each week he doesn't play and it will take until somewhere between the U.S. Open and Open Championship for his average to drop to where Phil Mickelson's currently is. If Mickelson plays well enough to maintain his current average and Woods doesn't play, then the No. 1 spot could change hands early July." Of course, they also allow that "there are so many variables to be more precise than that."

Mike Fish reveals that Dr. Anthony Galea assistant Mary Anne Catalano's court appearance has been postponed until March 12, buying more time for the doctor and those who may be implicated in the investigation. Since multiple sources say Tiger won't be involved, I'd count this as good news either way.

Denver's KUSA 9 says a Federal investigation has been opened into the "Unfaithful" pop art/product tampering situation. Amazingly, 1000 bottles were made and one of the geniuses left an email address on the packaging. Even better, he's blabbing to the press.

9Wants To Know investigators tracked an e-mail hidden in the label's small print to Jason Kay of Longmont.

Kay admitted he helped a friend pull of what he called a "pop art" project.

"He doesn't want to be contacted," Kay said. "The artist wants to remain anonymous because there are similar future projects in the works."

Kay said the object of the project was to create conversation.

Bottles turning up in the Denver area have hand-written numbers on the bottom indicating each is one of 100.

Kay said there are actually about 1,000 such "unfaithful" bottles planted in stores from Longmont to Denver. He said the hand-numbered ones are just the "collectors' edition."

He admitted the stunt was "very expensive" but wouldn't discuss the details of making the labels or sneaking them into stores.

"I used my connections," Kay said.

Parents must be so proud!

Megan O'Matz reports that a Florida state senator wants to investigate the anonymous tip suggesting possible child abuse in the Woods residence.

Now, a state senator who oversees Florida's Department of Children & Families is calling for an investigation into whether someone knowingly filed a false child abuse report against the Woods family, perhaps needlessly traumatizing the Woods children and wasting time and tax dollars. Doing so is a felony.

The senator said she thinks a call was placed to the Florida Abuse Hotline "to keep the media celebrity attention going."

"To use the resources of the state for some grand celebrity theater is completely unacceptable," said Sen. Ronda Storms, a Hillsborough County Republican who chairs the Senate's Children, Families and Elder Affairs Committee. "It robs children who are legitimately in danger." 

Mel Gibson spoke out on Tiger's behalf...

'I feel sorry for Tiger Woods,' he says. 'Why are we talking about this when we're sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan? You've got this history-changing event going on and we're talking about Tiger's private life and golf injuries. He's being used as a diversion and it just drives me crazy. You come out savaged. I just think, 'Who cares?'

The SI roundtable guys talked about life without Tiger and what it'll be like after his return:

Van Sickle: Enough of Sir Charles. What's the status of Tiger Woods? He has completely dropped out of sight, yet he was still the talk of the week, even after the SBS Championship got underway. Can we get over him and get on with the season?

Shipnuck: Here at Kapalua, Tiger loomed large in his absence. The players are weirded-out not knowing where he is, when he's coming back, or if he'll be the same when he does. Tiger's return, or lack thereof, will go a long way toward defining the season. Until he's back we're all going to continue obsessing about him.

Herre: I can see why the other players find TW's absence unsettling — it's weird being in the dark and not knowing. Mark Rolfing said on Golf Channel that everything will quickly return to normal when TW returns. I don't think so.

Friedman: Yes, it's a be-careful-what-you-wish-for situation. His first tournament back will be a zoo.

Farrell Evans, writer-reporter, Sports Illustrated: Tiger could have taken some notes from Sir Charles about not taking himself so seriously. Charles is having fun. A less uptight Tiger might relish the opportunity to host SNL.

Van Sickle: That could be a smart option once his marriage situation is settled. Not that Tiger would ever consider it.

And finally, I'm guessing they won't be pitching this reality show to The Golf Channel. Particularly when you have never-before behind-the-scenes footage of John Daly.