Playoff System Designed To Ensure Tiger Woods Makes It To The Final Weekend Begins Without Tiger Woods

Just remember over the next four weeks: every time we get a rundown of the points permutations, FedExCup standings, points resets, whiteboard scenarios and other geeky nonsense, this was a points system built around making sure one person would be playing right up to the final weekend at East Lake.
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Capitalist Phil Suggests America Look To Communist China For Job Growth Inspiration!

It was one of those moments you watch and think, why am I watching the Golf Channel tag along with Barclays CEO Bob Diamond and Five Guys franchisee Phil Mickelson as they bumped fists with the Charlie Foxes of the world staring at their stock monitors and in general, sell you on the wonders of this week's sponsor. 
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Phil: "We've outlawed the paddle grip for crying out loud, I don't know why; that was legal for three decades."

Alex Myers focused on Phil's comments today on not ruling out the belly putter, but I of course was jumping for joy when he noted that the USGA did outlaw the dreaded, horrible, blatantly criminal paddle grip, which was nothing more than a slight indentation at the top of the grip, and all because putting geniuses Stockton, Archer and Crenshaw used one. (Actually that's not entirely true, but I just wanted to get a nasty email from Frank Hannigan at some point today.)
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Robert Allenby Does The Humane Thing And Fires His Caddies

Ben Everill reports that the Aussie has dropped his "shared-duty" caddies (one can only take so many weeks in a row with the man?) and has replaced them wtih Robert Floyd, son of Ray, who is very open about his recent troubles with alcohol and year of court-ordered house arrest that has him lugging not only Allenby's baggage...err...bag, but an ankle bracelet too.
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Plainfield's Risky Finish

Larry Dorman examines the big twist at Donald Ross' Plainfield for The Barclays: the driveable 18th. Always the weak link in an otherwise fantastic design, Dorman tells the backstory of the decision to move it up as made by Gil Hanse with the PGA Tour's Steve Wenzloff doing all of the explaining at headquarters for the skeptical Oxford shirt set.
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Two-And-A-Half Minutes Of Your Life You Won't Get Back: Dustin Johnson Dresses Up In A FedEx Uniform

This is painfully awkward on so many levels.

Warning, this is only for terminally ill readers seeking ways to prolong their lives.