When you come to think of it that is the secret of most of the great holes all over the world. They all have some kind of a twist. C.B. MACDONALD
Thanks to Mike Johnson for Tweeting Colin Gilmore's story about Callaway, the golf ball swallowing python who confused the balls for eggs but was saved by doctors at Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary in Australia.
Dr Pyne said snakes had an incredible ability to swallow objects as they could dislocate their jaws, but they could not necessarily digest everything they eat.
"I wouldn't like to pass a golf ball," he said.
Agent Mark Steinberg has long established himself as one of the least PR-savvy public ten-percenters on the planet, so I was not surprised to see that in the aftermath of his client's impressive Bay Hill win he would acknowledge Hank Haney's new book and do his best to get the conversation back on The Big Miss. If Steiny is one thing, he's consistent!
Steve Elling has the agent's latest missive regarding claims that Tiger injured himself partaking in the adult fantasy camp version of Navy SEAL training.
“(Hank) Haney admits he never had in-depth, personal discussions with Tiger. This self-serving book is full of guesses and false assumptions,” Steinberg said in an emailed statement.
“Most don't merit a response, but his stories about Tiger's injuries are simply not true. Tiger's injuries, and how they occurred, were exactly as described at the time they happened. Despite repeated claims that this is a golf book, it’s not.”
So just to recap, Haney claims Tiger injured himself pursuing his passion for SEAL training. Not the diversion I would choose for a pro-athlete, but the great ones are all a little bit different. I can safely say from what I've read so far, this is not the worst revelation in the book. Unless of course you're Steiny trying to negotiate a new endorsement deal and companies keep asking for SEAL-related injury clauses.
That said, it's not as if Haney is out suggesting Tiger's body was somehow damaged by Dr. Anthony Galea's, uh, cutting edge therapy methods. Nor is Haney even bringing up the sheer stupidity of associating with Dr. Spaceman. So in that sense Steiny, it could be a lot, lot worse.
His ball safely over the water, Tiger Woods walked toward the 18th green Sunday as he had done over the last 30 months on the PGA Tour, with one big difference.
There was no mistaking that smile.
"Pure joy," he said.
Steve Elling played off of Woods and bagman Joe LaCava's 18th fairway chatter.
They exchanged a high-five of such ferocity that it could have registered on a spring training radar gun. Woods barked something that the TV microphones didn't quite pick up. Just as well.
"He said, 'F-yeah,'" laughed LaCava.
Music to many ears.
Just like that, Woods was back atop the firmament, rough edges and all, and taking aim on Augusta National and the assortment of players who have been piling up wins while he was reconstituting and reclaiming his personal and private lives.
Steve DiMeglio put the win in perspective and quotes Tiger referring to "we":
After winning his record seventh Arnold Palmer Invitational on Sunday at wind-whipped, baked-out Bay Hill, Woods said he'd go back to work this week before heading to Augusta National for the Masters in April.
"I still need some work, and it's going to be good to get a week off and work on a few things," Woods said after earning his 72nd PGA Tour win, third on the all-time list. "I enjoyed the progression we made this week. Each day there was a little bit of fine-tuning here and there, and we were able to make those adjustments, which was good, and especially with the conditions getting more difficult on the weekend. I was able to hit some really good shots the last two days, and that's a very good sign going into Augusta. I understand how to play Augusta National, and it's just a matter of executing the game plan."
Bob Harig for ESPN.com, writing about the energized scene:
All the while, he had to hear the support from the gallery, which was jam-packed and primed to witness Woods' return to winning ways.
"Welcome back, Tiger!"
"Trophy time!"
"It's a new day!"
"Bring it home!"
By the time fans were allowed to funnel in behind Woods and McDowell as they played the 18th, it would have taken a monumental blunder to blow it, although Woods kept his head down and his emotions in check until he knocked the final approach over the water and onto the green.
Jason Sobel says normalcy has returned:
The guy who won this week did so with a flair for closing that no other recent champion has displayed. In the first 13 tournaments of this PGA Tour season, no winner triumphed by more than three strokes over the nearest competitor; on Sunday, Woods prevailed by five.
It’s the type of performance that Woods used to proffer on a semi-regular basis. It earned him the reputation as an intimidator and dominator, but in reality, he’s always been more keenly defined as a closer – the rare player who knows exactly what it takes to accomplish the end goal of winning a tournament, then goes out and executes that plan.
Woods' five-stroke victory in the Arnold Palmer Invitational won't change the conversation entirely -- Haney will be ubiquitous in the coming days as his publisher puts the publicity machine in overdrive. But it will set the golf world abuzz, returning the bulk of the focus to Woods' golf, rather than peripheral issues that include his now very public private life. Winning, of course, was always going to be the easiest path to redemption.
The timing of Woods' victory was propitious in another regard, one of indubitably greater importance. Two weeks before the Masters, it was imperative that he take into Augusta something other than imperceptible progress that he habitually labeled "a process." Say it often enough and it begins to sound like an excuse.
Selected highlights from the SI/golf.com Confidential:
Van Sickle: If Tiger isn't playing, McDowell runs away with this thing. Instead, he's the B-Flight champ. Sound familiar? Tiger was a touchdown ahead of everyone else.
Michael Bamberger, senior writer, Sports Illustrated: The win is deeply impressive because he earned it on the practice tee, and it's hard to devote yourself to the practice tee when you're 36 and your kids need rides and the lawn needs mowing. He earned it. It wasn't smoke-and-mirrors. It was not like old times. It was totally different.
Shipnuck: I loved Tiger's demeanor. He seemed utterly in control all day, and even a couple of 50-footers from G-Mac early in the round couldn't change that.
ESPN.com features a few stats from day, including this about Tiger's par-5 play.
Woods also dominated the par-5s at Bay Hill, finishing -12 on those holes, the best mark in the field. Entering this tournament, Tiger was -101 on par-5s at the Arnold Palmer Invitational in his career and +6 on par-3s and par-4s.
Ryan Lavner notes several things from Sunday, including that Tiger will be climbing up the OWGR.
Woods is expected to move from No. 18 to No. 6 in the Official World Golf Ranking, his highest position since May 2011.
Golfweek posts an image gallery from the round.
And here are the Sportscenter highlights:
The highlights, as approved by the PGA Tour:
John Reger's AP story points out that Yani Tseng's 15th LPGA Tour win in this weekend's KIA Classic puts her in rarified company.
"Today the first hole, I just kind of felt like every day is the same," Tseng said. "I didn't feel like today was Sunday. I didn't feel like I had a three-shot lead. I just focused on playing one shot at a time. I think I did a good job to just kind of focus on myself."
At 23, Tseng became the second-youngest player to reach 15 LPGA Tour victories. Nancy Lopez was 22 when she reached the mark.
And in five notes, Beth Ann Baldry puts Yani's domination into perspective with this about her World Golf Hall of Fame eligibility:
Tseng needs only four more points and 10 years of service to qualify for the LPGA and World Golf Halls of Fame. A major victory gets her two points and non-majors are good for one. There’s a good chance she’ll have that wrapped up by the summer’s end.
Karrie Webb earned her 27th point in July of 2000 at 25 years, 7 months and 2 days.
The dreaded phrase "Tiger is close," first uttered following an initial birdie early into Woods' return at the 2010 Masters and to virtual absurdity after each hint of his previous golfing prowess right up until the morning of his 2012 Arnold Palmer Invitational victory, has died.
"Tiger is close" succumbed at 23 months, just a month shy of his 2-year-anniversary. 
Woods, who had not won a PGA Tour event in three years but had exhibited a healthy dose of his trademark play and improved ball striking compared to his pre-2009 accident days, continued to hear the phrase used in conjunction with his game from all corners of the world. Even following a thrilling win at the 2011 Chevron World Challenge, recognized by the Official World Golf Ranking as a points-earning victory, Woods' game was subjected to repeated "close" references in various forms and on all media platforms. Earnest but at times painfully-desperate Golf Channel personalities were typically the worst offenders.
"They really rode the phrase to death, not just on the air but also on Twitter," said Terry Posthumous of Golf Media Matters. "Just this morning I heard them use it ad nauseum and frankly, the entire golf media can put the over-used phrase to rest. But it will go down as a very special two years for inanity."
Arrangements are pending, but it is believed a ceremony to retire the phrase is being planned by Woods spokesman Glenn Greenspan for Tuesday, April 3rd in the Masters Media Center, five minutes before Woods takes the podium to address the press. Woods is said to be "close" to making a decision on whether to attend the service.
Golf World's Dave Shedloski first Tweeted about Arnold Palmer's absence from the wild 18th hole scene following Tiger Woods's seventh victory, and a Golfweek staff report follows up with more details on Mr. Palmer's hospitalization for high blood pressure.
"I just talked to his daughter Amy (Saunders) who's with him, and I think the blood-pressure situation is starting to ameliorate and improving," Alastair Johnston, the chief operating officer of Arnold Palmer Enterprises, said in a hastily arranged news conference minutes after Tiger Woods' dramatic five-shot victory.
"Nobody is overly concerned about the prognosis, although he is going to remain in the hospital overnight for observation."
Tiger's got a one stroke lead over Graeme McDowell but Ernie Els is lurking, setting up a possible rematch interview with Steve Sands. Should be fun to watch...
Geoff Shackelford is a Senior Writer for Golfweek magazine, a weekly contributor to Golf Channel's Morning
Copyright © 2022, Geoff Shackelford. All rights reserved.
