"The Participant's Gift"

Thanks to reader David for the heads up on this John Garrity take on over-the-top trophies, highlighted by this:

But consider the plight of Jim Furyk, Geoff Ogilvy, and Mike Weir, who finished two, six, and nine strokes behind Tiger, respectively, at Poipu Bay. Their "participant's gift" from the PGA of America was a free-standing wooden locker with leather interior and brass name plate, each locker being large enough to store a staff bag, 10 green jackets, or three PGA Grand Slam trophies.

Furyk has a house on Maui, so he can probably float his locker over on a catamaran or outrigger canoe. But Ogilvy and Weir must be frantic, trying to get their lockers into the overhead bins for the flight to the mainland.

If I were a tournament sponsor, I'd try to cut this trend off at the pass. How about a hummingbird trophy for the winner of The Memorial? How about a commemorative scroll for the Phoenix Open champ? Hey, it's the digital age. The next time Tiger wins, I'd give him a leather-bound highlights DVD (with bonus features).

Or not. Big is in, ponderous is popular, and somehow the natives on Easter Island moved those big stone statues. Anyway, it's not in certain people's interest to discourage big trophies. Look who's sponsoring the PGA Tour's new season-ending points race: FedEx.