Okay, so none of the stenographers asked anything that silly, but check out these beauties following Tiger's win at the Buick.
For fun, I've supplemented Tiger's answers with my own versions of what he might really like to say. You can go to ASAP to read his actual answers to these thoughtful questions.
Oh, and note that not ONE "reporter" asks about the apple that rolled by his first putt on 17, or how it is that he didn't flinch when it happened!
Q. Your relationship with Buick, what does it mean to win the 50th tournament here, the birthplace of Buick?
A. Actually, it really tops everything I've ever done. The Masters, The Open Championships, the Foundation, the four majors in a row. I'd trade them all in for more wins in Buick events.
Q. We're used to seeing you wear red on Sunday and used to seeing you win. How far back does that good where you've worn red? Have you done that since your rookie year and what's the story behind that?
A. Wow, it's funny, but no one has ever asked me about that or ever written about that. Your name again?
Q. You have 50 wins now. Do you see yourself getting to 83?
A. No, no, winning this Buick is it for me on the PGA Tour. The rest will be majors, no more Tour event victories. So 83 is likely out of the equation.
Q. When is the last time you felt like you were playing this well going into a major?
A. Hmmm, well let's see. I just won a major and I played well the tournament beforehand, so I'm going to have to say the Western Open.
[This is why Tiger gets the big bucks. His actual one word answer: "Western."]
Q. You win the British, you win here, what does that do for your confidence level coming into the PGA?
A. It's tough, you know. I'm battling a lot of demons right now. Since I three putted the 18th at Hoylake and almost three putted 17 today. I'm only 42-under in my last two events, so I'm searching. But I'll regain the confidence soon. I'm sure of it.
Q. We watched you cross drivers and have good approaches and putts and also get in and out of trouble, and one fan in the gallery said you were only in trouble if you were in the water. Looking back, are they both as enjoyable when you look back at a tournament and seeing how you scrambled for par on 2 or had a spectacular hole? How does the enjoyment compare for you?
A. Great question. Lucid, succinct, really on point. But uh, just for clarification, when you say cross drivers, is that like on Entourage when Drama and Turtle crossed swords?
As for the rest of the question, it just doesn't make any sense and wow, look at the time! I really need to get to the airport as Citation X's aren't allowed by Federal Law to sit idling on Michigan runways for more than 30 minutes. Hey, it's been great.