My NSA sources have been busy trying to dig up those destroyed waterboarding tapes, but they did find time to share an enjoyable little chat between PGA Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem and LPGA Tour Commissioner Carolyn Bivens. It seems PGA Tour executives are considering a potential new method of in-house communication...
twfPGATour©: You there Carolyn?
DaBrandLady: shalom tim!
twfPGATour©: Shalom? Is that Hebrew for Commissioner?
DaBrandLady: oh you're such a komiker! pardon me while I brush up on my yiddish!
twfPGATour©: Why's that?
DaBrandLady: didn't you hear about the lawsuit? legal was so excited when they found out!! they haven't been this busy since i deselected several longtime executives last year!!! :)
twfPGATour©: Oh is this in regard to the Jewish-American group you bumped out of the Fairmont for that new event?
DaBrandLady: yeppers! i'm prepping for the depos already. i figure it can't hurt to speak a little of the native tongue.
twfPGATour©: I see. Well that's why you get the 45% pay raises. If only I could be so lucky.
DaBrandLady: it is unacceptable that you haven't crossed the $10 million threshold yet. especially considering your platform-based market share dynamic q-rating and those great fedex cup tweaks you just, hahaha, delivered.
twfPGATour©: Delivered! That's an oldie but a goodie! I sure wish you were on the Independent Board of Directors.
DaBrandLady: you don't pay enough. lololololol
twfPGATour©: We don't? Who says?
DaBrandLady: just a joke tim
twfPGATour©: Look, I had a quick question. Do your C-levels have in-house blogs?
DaBrandLady: so funny you should mention that!!! not more than 2 minutes ago i made a note to myself that we need to have our c-levelers sharing their most important thoughts each day for all of the staff to learn from.
twfPGATour©: But you don't really any other C-levels, besides yourself of course.
twfPGATour©: Well it's something we're looking at but I just can't really see the benefit of Ed or Charles or Henry getting much benefit out of having a blog. Would our staff or the product benefit from hearing their inner most thoughts?
DaBrandLady: no, but it gives the product the perception that executives are working hard on their behalf.
DaBrandLady: but what about you tim?
twfPGATour©: My bandwidth is stretched thin as it is. Between trying to value-stream licensing agreements and bucketizing offshore brand revenue equity, I hardly have time to sit down and write memos much less write a blog post about the negative amortization of Nationwide Tour revenues.
twfPGATour©: Plus, I've used that story about going to that Stones concert too many times now.
DaBrandLady: i don't agree. sure, it was the steel wheels tour and that was about 5 tours ago, but it still connects you with a younger demo, which is why you should blog, tim. it's a great way to communicate with the product and your consumers without actually having to engage in any interface.
twfPGATour©: You really think so?
DaBrandLady: yep. i was just thinking about how my first post was going to be on shtemplen dynamics and Bangalorization of non-essential platform maintenance.
twfPGATour©: I'm familiar with Bangalorization of non-essential platform maintenance. We just set up a new call bank for PGA TOUR© travel in Nelamangala.
DaBrandLady: how's that going?
twfPGATour©: Great, all of our call takers use names like Boo or Bubba or Tiger or Annika. The product gets a big kick out of that.
DaBrandLady: wow, why didn't i think of that!?!?!?
twfPGATour©: But Carolyn, you mentioned shtemplen dynamics. I know that I know what that means, but could you give me an example on the latest in product shtemplenization?
DaBrandLady: oh you shmendrick. a shtemplen is yiddish for brand!
twfPGATour©: Ah okay. My Yiddish never has been what it should be.
DaBrandLady: tim, you are a shtemplen whether you like it or not. you know that any good shtemplen leverages their shtemplen-equity to extrapolate maximized value streams, even if this means sharing details of your personal life as any good blogger does.
twfPGATour©: You put it that way...and, well I'm still not sure. I'll have to think about it and monitor the blog by our non-C-levels to see how that goes. I just have a feeling this will lead to some staff deselection and I know how much it pains Ed and Charlie when they have to fire people.
DaBrandLady: just call me. deselection is one of my favorite parts of the job!
twfPGATour©: Well on that upbeat note, Merry Christmas. Or is it Happy Chanukkah?
DaBrandLady: it's all a mitzvah tim! Mazel tov!
twfPGATour©: Give my best to...
DaBrandLady: He says mazel tov back!