"It's such a cool hang"

Tim Rosaforte's latest Tour Insider column features a fascinating tale of woe that started with a minor mistake in referring to Brett Wetterich's home course during his NBC segment. And now through the grave grace of God, he's managed to milk a 1150 word column featuring a modest 30 self references. Ah, the power of the Internet.

We've got this plan to play at McArthur, because Nicky has the greens rolling at 13-plus, and BW is getting ready for his first Masters. We shook hands and he said, "I just wish I made a few more putts," looking more down than up for a guy who just finished second in a World Golf Championship event. I told him what Price had said, and that put a smile on his face. What I didn't tell him was that I totally butchered a line on NBC, saying that Medalist was Nick Price's club.
The Medalist is Greg Norman's club, where Brett has had a membership since he was playing the Nationwide Tour. McArthur is the club next door that Nick did with Tom Fazio. Those who know golf immediately picked up the difference, I'm sure. It's like calling Shinnecock The National.
Actually, I was thinking it sounded more like calling the TPC Sawgrass The Villages. Anyway... 
Now I don't want to blame my faux pas on anyone, knowing it occurred because I broke the Jimmy Roberts' credo about talking slow. But I will say that just as I was delivering the information about Wetterich, Phil and Amy Mickelson showed up, stood behind the cameraman, and started mugging like two kids, popping up and down on both sides of the camera, making silly faces.
Oh those hucksters!
Phil was really there to see what I was going to say about him working with Butch Harmon, but that bit came later. And since it was late in the final round, and no time for small talk with Jimmy, I didn't get a chance to clean up that double I made referring to Nick Price's club.

That's McArthur, where one of my best friends, Kevin Murphy, is the head pro. Where they invite me to play in one of the best two-day events in golf, The Milk Jug. It's such a cool hang, so Nick Price in low-keyness, that there was a rumor Tiger wanted to buy up the rest of the memberships and call it his club when he moves to Jupiter Island.

Okay, sine that last sentence started to sound like a cross between Borat and Ali G, it's only appropriate to  feed this excerpt to the Ali G tranzlata...

we've got dis plan to play at mcarthur, coz nicky as da greens rollin at 13-plus, and bw is gettin ready fa is first masters. we shook ands and he said, "i just wish i made a few more putts," checkin more down than up fa a geeza who just finished second in a world golf championship event. i told im wot price did ave said, and dat put a smile on is face. wot i didn't tell im was dat i totally butchered a line on nbc, sayin dat medalist was nick price's cukabilly.

da medalist is greg norman's cukabilly, where brett as did ave a membership since he was playin da nationwide tour. mcarthur is da cukabilly next doa dat nick did wiv tom fazio. those who know golf immediately picked up da difference, me is sure. it's dig callin shinnecock da national.

now i don't dig to blame me faux pas on anyone, knowin it occurred coz i broke da jimmy roberts' credo about bangin slow. but i will say dat just as i was deliverin da information about wetterich, phil and amy mickelson showed up, stood behind da cameraman, and started muggin der two kids, poppin up and down on bof sides of da camera, makin silly faces. phil was for real there to check wot i was goin to say about im angin wiv butch armon, but dat bit came lata. and since it was late in da final round, and no time fa small natta wiv jimmy, i didn't get a chance to clean up dat double i made referrin to nick price's cukabilly.

innit mcarthur, where one of my wickedest boys, kevin murphy, is da ead pro. where dey invite me to play in one of da wickedest two-day events in golf, da milk jug. it's such a wicked ang, so nick price in low-keyness, dat there was a ruma tiga wanted to purchase up da chill of da memberships and call it is cukabilly whun he moves to jupita island.