Yes, I know dark days ahead here. How to cope with the news that there will be no more Tiger Woods led American Express ads like the Caddyshack spot, just those embarrassing spots where he calls OnStar to unlock one of those ugly Buicks.
But mercifully for Tiger, no more of those outings where he has to interrupt his major championship preparation to plug AmEx and the USGA.
But much better was the spin by Amex suit Rich Lehrfeld buried in this AP piece (presumably by Doug Ferguson), who was explaining the decision to sign with the PGA of America while dumping Woods.
"He brought a lot of value to Amex. He's an incredible athlete with an incredible work ethic, and that runs well with what our brand is all about," Lehrfeld said.
And here I thought the brand was about justifying how us suckers pay an annual fee all to get a discount at Kinko's?
"Sometimes strategies change. We wanted to move our dollars to build a broader base of consumer experiences."
Ah, right. That clears it up.
"It was a good 10-year run," Mark Steinberg, his agent at IMG, said Friday while following Woods at Firestone. He said Woods and American Express mutually agreed not to negotiate another contract.
"I know that sounds like a cop-out," Steinberg said. "But this was one of those deals that had run its course. If they wanted to be more consumer-driver, that might require more of Tiger's time. And it still might not hit the right demographics for them. We talked about doing something smaller, but why downsize?"
That's right baby, Tiger doesn't take pay cuts. And he can't get cardholders Ryder Cup tickets either. Sounds like a win-win!