Birkdale Clubhouse Description Watch, Vol. 2

Lynne Truss likes the clubhouse and jumps ahead of the previous entries with this enjoyable bit of fiction:

This great white ship supposedly “cruises through the sand hills” of the championship course, carving through the grassy waves despite its rounded front and emphatically lateral orientation — both of which features are historically disapproved of in the design of boats of all sizes.

Imagine the announcement: “I am creating a revolutionary ocean liner,” Samuel Cunard tells his shareholders. “It will have a rounded front and be wider than it is long. It will also have a tall clock tower, a bar, changing rooms and strict policies on spiked shoes, denim clothing and the admittance of people with two X chromosomes.”

“Sounds more like a clubhouse,” mutters a chap at the back, who is immediately ejected from the meeting.