Slow Play Files Gone Mad: Of Course A Man Bit Another Man's Finger Off Over Not Playing Fast Enough

The finger biterer

It probably comes as little surprise that the severed digit story involved slow play (sorry to those who had "just plain hungry" and "someone drove into them" in the pool). 

Emily Sweeney of the Boston Globe reports on Derek Harkins' arraignment on charges of assault and battery after biting off Daniel Menton's finger in a Plymouth, Massachusetts brawl over slow play. 

Menton told police that he and seven others were playing the ninth hole when Harkins’s father, John, arrived in his golf cart and complained they were playing too slowly and cheating during an ongoing tournament.

Sevensome? What could go wrong?

Menton told police that he saw Derek Harkins following his father in his own golf cart “at a fast rate of speed” and that he had to jump out of the way to avoid being hit. He said Harkins then sprang from the cart and punched him in the face.

Menton told police that they were wrestling on the ground when Harkins bit his finger.

Even better, there's video!

One of the golfers shared with the police a video of the moments when the combatants separated. “While viewing the video it was clear Derek Harkins was acting out of control and was trying to be restrained by the other individuals,’’ the report said. “It should be noted that there was blood coming from his mouth and face.”

What a fine story and image for the royal and ancient game!

On a serious note, the severed digit cannot be reattached.