McPhee On The Open Championship

New Yorker subscribers can enjoy John McPhee's essay from the Open Championship online. As with any subject in the hands of a craftsman like McPhee, it's an enjoyable read, particularly when the metaphors teeter veer in the direction of Dennis Miller gone awry.

The longest successful drive we see on seventeen is by the American sinner John Daly, wearing slacks meant to resemble the skin of a red-and-black Tiger. Daly won the Open at St. Andrews in 1995, ballooned in weight in subsequent years, did some rehab, and now has an implanted turnbuckle around the upper end of his stomach, like a great comorant on the Yangtze River.

I also learned several new words from the story. The Swilken Burn "leaves town in ampersand fashion" and John Daly's "habliments" change daily. But I really loved the media center description, which, based on the number of scribes visiting the town bookmaker, seems appropriate.

The atmosphere is less bookish than bookie-ish. Along one side is a full-field scoreboard that resembles a tote board in an off-track betting parlor.

Comments

[Frank Hannigan]

The Princeton connection of McPhee to Remnick to Jerris failed completely. I have no idea where McPhee thought he was. His reliance on former student Jerris to teach him golf puts him a weak position. Thus, the romantic Jerris spouts that links golf takes a life time of learning. Except Tony Lema wandered into town on Wednesday, played l0 practice holes before dark and then won the Open. Or Snead, who showed up as a grouch in 1946, won on the Old Course, said it was a lousy course and never returned.

But the silliest thing in the McPhee piece is his description of the Big Room in the R&A clubhouse which is described as a haven for nude members who have wooden lockers along the walls. I wonder if McPhee so much as entered the room. The wooden lockers are symbolic. There is plenty of drinking in the Big Room but no changing of socks.

If Remnick sends McPhee to next year's Open we will probably be told there is a stripper's pole in the clubhouse at Royal St Geoprge's

[carnaptious and camsteerie]

"The wooden lockers are symbolic."

Oh no they aren't! They might not all be in use but some of them are.

[keith t]

I can't believe Geoff had never seen the word "ampersand".

[jimbob]

i loved that story

[taffy]

Habiliments. Had to google that one. Figured it meant attire or some such by the context but was and is a new word for me. Glad I learned something new today. Might be a crossword answer someday.

[Geoff]

Keith,
Never in the context of a burn!

[Ky Laffoon's Ghost]

Looks kinda like the profile of a duck in the satellite image...

[Mark Holthoff]

My favorite writer on my favorite subject -- can't wait to read it!

[GolfFan]

He's one of my favorite writers making geology and canoe construction spine-tingling, suspenseful matters of interest.

His golf writing is on the other hand, well - hideous and incredibly - somehow from a liberal's clouded view in my past experience.

I'll read this article at my psychiatrist's office when he puts it out, not spending a dime to read it.

I'll judge it then.

[Ky Laffoon's Ghost]

Well, finally got around to it. What was that word used by a critic to describe William Styron's work (except for "Confessions of Nat Turner")? Flatulent? Yeah, that's it. As for "habliments" it would seem that "deshabille" describes this piece to a "t". I think I'll re-read "The Founding Fish." That was very good...