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Dreaming Of The Woods V. Chamblee Trial

At the websites Brandel Chamblee employers and, I had to look hard for a story on Team Tiger's reaction to Chamblee's column. Granted, the harsh rebuttal statement and comments by Mark Steinberg went out at about 6 pm ET on a Friday, a news window reserved only for USGA Presidency announcements and press releases on Old Course changes.

Eventually I found a (non-front page) story by that wily scribe his ownself, Digital. He's the first-born son of The Digitals of Key Biscayne, armed with a J-school degree that prepped him to take stories no one else will write.

And what about, which stands to be sued if Steinberg finds a lawyer willing to sue over the insinuation that Tiger is a cheater? No story was posted as of 1 a.m. ET.  Here's guessing the on-call legal minds at Klapp, Lard and Doppleganger took an early weekend.

Now, before Chamblee apologizes or some lawyer advises Tiger that he can't win this battle, I want the folks involved to think about the merits of a televised trial. Planned creatively--scary words in the golf world-- this could be a ratings Godsend. Way better than the PGA Tour wraparound events. (Okay, that's a low bar to set, I know.)

But think of the possibilities. Sean Foley takes the stand to be grilled by Brandel's attorney over the pitch angle of Tiger's hips at impact.

Tiger testifies about how much Brandel's relentless criticism stings, at which point the judge rules with the defense that questions about the stinger are now permissible.

Outside the Jupiter courthouse, Alex Miceli and Nancy Grace host Golf Channel's daily coverage. Hank Haney, Tim Rosaforte and Frank Nobilo are called in to testify and plead the fifth, only to give exclusive post-courtroom interviews to Golf Channel.

What could be more American?

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Reader Comments (70)

This is good.

One thing to add though... the judge should break down in tears while delivering the verdict, as part of a secret ploy for his own spinoff reality tv show.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterJohn Taggart
Like his take or not, when Brandel states that Colin M got labelled for two incidents in 15 years, then Tiger has very little wiggle room due to his 2113 season.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered Commentermeefer
Tiger's integrity on trial? I'll need a pallet of popcorn.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterChris
Sorry to disappoint, Geoff. This action will be dismissed with prejudice shortly after the photo journals of Charles Laberge, Chris Condon and J.D. Cuban are entered into evidence.

The ever observant judge tlavin will note that every rules infraction was committed by a bearded Tiger. Sean Foley will testify that he was duped and now completely understands why it took so long to rebuild a swing. As many of his invoices remain unpaid, he asks the judge about the merits of pursuing legal action in a parallel universe.

Lindsey will be called as a corroborating witness and admit that for purely selfish reasons, she failed the report the "huge" difference between Evil Tiger and Tiger to Mark Steinberg. When asked to comment, Mark advises he'll be traveling to the parallel universe with Evil Tiger in search of a better endorsement deal.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterD. maculata
Get a winter coat Brandel it's cold out here.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterBen Wright
Dogging Tiger for a living has worked for Brandel, but maybe calling Tiger a cheater wasn't such a great idea. I think Casey Wittenberg should sue, too.

You can see the careerist calculation in Brandel's every statement. Ooops.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered Commenterjoe
I think a more likely strategy for Team Tiger is not to talk to any media outlet that employs Chamblee. At the same time giving FoxSports Golf lots of of exclusives.
"Tiger's integrity on trial? I'll need a pallet of popcorn."


A pallet? Not enough.

Try the entire popcorn concession for Dixie - circa 1952. Not even sure the U.S. buys or grows enough popcorn to supply all of the Bijous and drive-ins of that era to serve a Puddy Tat legal proceeding on the matter of integrity in 2014...
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterPhew
This place is turning in to as the golf world turns...
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmen Coroner
Woods has two options: respond directly, or keep quiet.

Instead, this man-child comes off like a female diva of a reality TV show with a hollow threat of legal action.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterAbu Dhabi Golfer
Scott McCarron called Phil Mickelson a cheater and Phil said he was slandered. An apology came right afterward. I don't remember Phil being called a diva.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterDC
Funny how does not mention the threatened lawsuit. Media doesn't know how to cover itself.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterMedia driven
I just want Elin on the stand to answer questions about Tiger's strength training.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterJRP
@DC - a few key differences: 1) Phil responded personally, not Steve Loy or another of his reps. 2) Chamblee is a member of the media, his job is to make judgements about players, Scott Mc was just another player, 3) Mickelson's "offense" was clearly legal by the book, McCarron was accusing him of breaking the "spirit of the rules" , while Tiger has clearly broken rules (3 times having post round penalty strokes applied)
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterBrianS
I'd happily volunteer and show up robe-in-tow, but I'd direct a verdict in Tiger's favor faster than the Breck Girl's hair spray hits his forehead. He's a world class asshat.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered Commentertlavin
DC - Phil was responding directly, not through some hired hack. And he had a case.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterAbu Dhabi Golfer
And Elin will be called as the main witness, "In your honest opinion Elin do you believe Mr. Woods is a cheater?"

Is being cavalier with the rules the same as being called a cheater? Cause brandel never used the word cheat or cheater.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterVwgolfer
I am mildly amused by the number of people here who are saying that Tiger is a wuss because he didn't respond himself. Meanwhile Brandel is trying to hide behind semantics over whether he actually called Tiger a cheater or not. It was clearly the point he was making, and anybody with any reading comprehension skills knows that. Otherwise why include the 4th grade cheating story, and then give Tiger a grade in the same way? Yeah exactly.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered Commenterelf
Guess no one really cares about Vijay cause Brandels comments about him are pretty scathing, but then again this article is kinda of weird starts off being trying to be funny and then the hatred toward Vijay is kinda of shocking in its bluntness. And talking about Dufners wife as hot seems kinda of creepy. Yea yea we all think it but to write it down here is really tacky. Brandel has jumped the shark.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered Commentervwgolfer
Everyone knows what Brandel meant, but he never directly called Tiger a cheater. so case closed. The only reputation hurt here is Brandels for looking like a writer with nothing to say.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered Commentervwgolfer
"This place is turning in to as the golf world turns..."


That tends to happen when the topic of conversation is a prima donna whining about the integrity of another when said prima donna racing away from his then-wife and the still-mother of his children smacked into a tree and led the world on a tour of diners and casinos in Vegas and finally to some sort of scam rehab center in the home of Trent Lott.

Said prima donna, who's made 19 majors his life's goal, hasn't won a major since and, more importantly, turned himself from the on-course bully into the off-course eternal punchline who's self-written the second paragraph of his own obituary long before his own passing.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterPhew
Even if there is not law suit, and even if TW never answers one question about this event, Brandel Chamblee will be the one that gets hurt (as I feel he should) by his article! I think that very few if any of the current/past tour players feel that Brandel was right in his findings that TW was/is a cheater! Would love to be around to hear Charlie Rymer's feeling toward Brandel!
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterTiredProgrammer
1. As a matter of law, no legal basis for any action whatsoever against Chamblee or his employers.

2. As a matter of opinion, Chamblee is twice as bright and insightful as most other talking heads in any sport.

3. As a matter of fact, Tiger's lack of integrity is verifiable. .

4. Second matter of fact, Steiny engages in PR incompetence whenever he attempts to protect his 3%.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterPasaplayer
I could very easily see a Woods "boycott'' of GC until Brandel C. is either disciplined or removed. Would be quite a standoff since GC exec have gone out of their way to praise Chamblee. What if Tiger extends the boycott to all NBC personnel--Jimmy Roberts, Malbie, Steve Sands, etc. I'm sure he has decent relationship with some of these folks, but it could really make NBC squirm if he won't talk at Bay Hill, Doral, USOpen, FedEx, Ryder Cup.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterMedia driven
@vwgolfer: "He never directly called Tiger a cheater" - Can you read? He told a story in which his teacher caught him cheating and then gave him a score of a crossed "100" with an "F" below. Then he gave Tiger the exact same grade. What does that mean to you? Do you need a blimp shot of Brandel writing the article, or what?
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterHawkeye
@Hawkeye, would the blimp shot not mess with the angle, and we couldn't be sure exactly where Brandel was writing?
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterKieran
@Kieran: Forgot about that. ;) Was Mark Rolfing doing play-by-play as he was typing?
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterHawkeye
Can't wait for the movie! A lot of drama about a lot of drama queens. Chris Rock can play TW, and Brad Pitt can play BC. Minnie Me can play Steiny.

@ Pasaplayer You nail it in your 4 statements.
The anger... Oh if we could just harness the anger, all the world could have the benefit of free energy...
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterDTF
Tiger boycotting the media?

He has had difficulty attracting sponsors to replay GM, Accenture, Gillette, American Express.

Being media-unfriendly out of spite will guarantee that big global brands never come near the guy. It would be a dumbass move of monumental proportion.

Besides, that last half decent sit down he had with the media was with Kelly Tilghman over three years ago. 20 seconds with Steve Sands already basically qualifies as nothing. And he has to do those, the broadcast deals include clauses that force players to be available.

A media boycott?

10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterAbu Dhabi Golfer
Since Tiger's anger has been delivered via Steiny, any Chamblee apology will naturally be delivered by Charlie Rymer.

Hell, Charlie has probably already apologized to Tiger.

It'll be like the "errand boy" scene from Apocalypse Now . . . Chamblee as Martin Sheen, Tiger as Brando, Rymer as the atache sent to retrieve Chamblee and bring him to the hut.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered Commenterwillie
Greg Norman testifies as an expert witness--"Tiger may not have won a major this year, but he's rich, which matters more when you can't win the big one."
10.19.2013 | Unregistered Commenterhighside
Couldn't Chamblee just call Eldrick's ex-wife to the stand and the trail would be over quicker than my husband can destroy an economy?

Barry says 'sup homes.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle O
@DTF +1

I'll admit that I am a Tiger fan...for his golf. He is quite simply the greatest golfer of this generation and one of the top of any generation (Nicklaus, Jones, Hogan, Tiger...where do you go after that?) As a cyclist enthusiast, I was also a huge Lance Armstrong and Floyd Landis fan. Landis' stage 17 victory at the 2006 Tour de France was the equivalent of Tiger's 2000 U.S. Open. Awe inspiring, especially seeing how he bonked the day before. And Armstrong was just a machine. An American machine in a foreign dominated sport, he single-handedly put cycling on the map in the US (with apologies to Greg Lemond). Those two men inspired me to take up cycling, follow the sport and marvel at their deeds. And then they admitted cheating. My cycling heros disgraced. And I was supremely disappointed. But hate? I mean, like some of the real, palpable, scary hate that exists towards Tiger on this, and other, boards? I just don't get it. He's a fabulous golfer who cheated on his wife. He is not a rapist or a murderer.

And for those who fixate on his rules violations this year, I recommend reading Ron Sirak's recent column wherein he discusses each of the four situations. As Sirak notes, he was assessed a the appropriate penalties (one of which led to a missed cut and another to, arguably, losing the Masters), or wasn't assessed based upon the rules (Players, when his playing partner agreed with him). And I am not sure exactly how many players were either assessed penalties after their round or DQ'd for a rules violation this year (maybe DTF to the rescue), but I am sure it wasn't just Tiger who had rules run-ins.

If it turns out that Tiger has REALLY cheated (lets say he tests positive for a banned substance and then gets tied to years long use through a BALCO-like leak), I will again be disappointed. But I still won't hate. More likely I'll pity someone who threw away such talent and must then endure a colossal fall that will make hydrant-gate seem like a vacation. But that doesn't mean I still won't marvel at what someone, even if artificially enhanced, can do with his clubs and a ball. A 218 yard 6 iron from a bunker over water to win the Canadian Open? Are you kidding me?

For those who hate Tiger (and I assure you that your feeling make no difference to him), I suggest that maybe some of that energy can be put to better use. Ever try cycling?
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterTampaGolfer
Tampa Golfer - this is sports. People love and they hate. Check out other sports blogs. It is the same everywhere.

If you don't like it, stop following sports.

Try Oprah's website. Or Dr. Phil's. No allegiances. No sides. Just a lot of hugging and phony reaffirmations.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered Commentersgolfer
sgolfer, I guess my point is that the vehemence towards Woods surpasses that of any other athlete. Sure, Cowboys fans "hate" the 'Skins, everyone outside of NYC (and some in it) "hates" the Yankees, and, as a Rays fan, I sure "hate" the Red Sox. But not in such an angry, personal way that many commenters, on pretty much every sports blog, hate Woods. It's like he raped their wives and tortured their children. If he cured cancer they would find something wrong with it That is what I don't understand. You really think Dr. Phil can help? :)
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterTampaGolfer
TB makes valid points all, but with each biased spin on th facts we think we know, its clear very few on this site have truly informed opinions. We simply can't have any closer view, which isn't to say our opinions aren't valid, but they are necessarily incomplete. Then again, who would have a more valid opinion than each of us? Not Steiny, not Brandell, not Dr. Phil, nae, not Eldrick himself. Thus we're left with those pesky "objective" facts as reported. Ergo, Eldrick is the Ty Cobb of his sport and his time, awesome on the field, a supreme jerk , rules"bender", two-face and asshole in all else we see (select charities possibly excepted). So what? So nothing, unless one prefers his or her sports and media darlings somewhat less obvious. Eldrick is the man he was meant to be, and I accept that.
10.19.2013 | Unregistered CommenterPasaplayer
TampaGolfer-- do not question Abu Dhabi Golfer.

He once shot 73 on a course that was about to host an LPGA tournament.
Excuse me for saying so, TampaGolfer but you're interpretation of hate may be a bit misplaced. As pasa pointed out, we can't possibly know for sure what ticks. They're opinions, based on what we see or revealed by the media. Those that have formed a negative impression of Tiger, and are willing to express it, do so of their own volition. You didn't expect to hear anything but glowing remarks coming from an entity with skin in the game, did you? Even in the face of facts they often prefer silence instead of measured. That's what makes Brandel's opinion rather unique. Mind you, I never said smart. I said unique. For him to make that leap, I suspect he has access to a helluva lot more inside info than we do. Tiger didn't throw away talent, it was opportunity he sent down the dumper. There's been a massive hangover since hydrant day. The drunks have been told that "winning solves everything" but it has never proven to be a good stain remover when it comes to character. The nagging question will remain because what was prepackaged and sold incessantly for public consumption, was exposed to be not as advertised. If my baseball acumen is correct, Ty Cobb never represented himself as a paragon of virtue on the advice of handlers. He was busy being what he was. Too much of something can be bad for you, even if it is deemed to be a good thing. So sayeth Brewer and Shipley.
10.20.2013 | Unregistered CommenterD. maculata

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