"After I went par, birdie, birdie, I sacked him."

Little-known Tony Carolan leads the Euro Tour's Ballantine's Championship in South Korea after an interesting first day. Trent Baker reports, but here's Carolan's press conference:

Q. Glad to get in?

TONY CAROLAN: Very happy, yeah. Put a new driver and 3-wood in the bag this week, and I was quite happy with my 3-wood. There's a lot of holes out here where I can hit my 3-wood 250 and leave myself a solid 8- or 9-iron to the green.

Got to have to a good start and made a good 2-putt par on the first and hit it close off the two, made a nice birdie from three feet. And the next, I hole it from about ten feet. Didn't birdie the next but three in a row, the first four holes.

Then I got a new caddie. He was jiggling clubs while putting; moving; he had soft spikes on, so he wasn't allowed on the greens. I just told him to go.

After I went par, birdie, birdie, I sacked him. He was just terrible. I'm paying him a USD$160, and he couldn't walk on the greens. I said man, you've got to stay off the greens. The other caddies were doing too much work.

Q. First time you've ever sacked a caddie on the course?

TONY CAROLAN: No. I think it's the second time. The other guy raked a bunker while I was in there after I told him not to. Actually I didn't sack him then, I sacked him the next day.

Q. So you've never sacked someone during a round?

TONY CAROLAN: I don't think so but I think I've been sacked by a caddie, though!
Hmmmm....
Q. What's your background?
Translation: who the hell are you?
TONY CAROLAN: Played in the mid 90s early onwards on the Asian Tour, and then I went to Canada and played on and off there for six years, one year where I played Challenge Tour, had conditional status in 2000. Then had some injuries, and in 2004, I got a full exempt card on the Nationwide Tour and was exempt and played the whole year with a torn cartilage. The physios out there had no clue, they just kept saying, you've got to stretch more, you've got to stretch more. I'm driving 20 hours in a car week-to-week; do you think I'm just getting out of the car and going to bed, of course I'm in the stretching after long drives. So I had pretty much 2005 off. I didn't do much, played some Pro-Ams.
End of 2005 I went to Asian Q-School, so I had the whole year off and went to Q-School, got my card. That was when the caddie raked the bunker. I got a two-stroke penalty and went from 13th to 31st at the Q-School, cost me a category and stats in all the big events. So I had to really work to get exempt and finished 34th last year.

This year, I think I'm about 20th an the Asian Tour Money List. I've played every week, first week at Emaar, withdrew after 15 holes, sick as a dog, and then I think I was 19th at Jakarta and then 14th at the SAIL Open, so I was a little disappointed with that. I went into Johnnie Walker and finished 17th, and last week I shot 3-under and missed the cut by a shot. 12 birdies, 3-under to miss the cut, I just made too many mistakes. Today I made the 6-footers.

And fired a caddy. All in all, just another ho-hum day on the European Tour. 

Flash: They Don't Eat Monkey Brains In India!

monkey-brains.jpgArjun Atwal, talking to the media in India, site of this week's European Tour event:
Asked what sort of questions he gets asked by American players, Atwal replied: “Just generally, people who know India through Indiana Jones think we eat monkey brains, stuff like that. You’d be amazed.

“Guys like Tiger, they know everything about what’s going on in India and Asia. So I’m not generalising — there are quite a few guys who do know, as well.”

Meanwhile Golfweek's Alistair Tait probably wishes he was in Pebble Beach this week based on this assessment of life in New Dehli.

"The Americans on the PGA Tour seem to have given up"

From John Huggan's Golf World game story:

"The Americans on the PGA Tour seem to have given up," said one high-profile European on the eve of the 13-time major champion's now anual pilgrimage to the Dubai Desert Classic. "Look at the Buick [two weeks ago]. All Tiger has to do is turn up, give them a stare and they drop down dead at his feet. At least over here we take him on and give him a game. I mean, what have you really got to lose? You might as well go for it."

That's right, you guys give him a game before you fold like accordians. 

What Did Els Hit On 18?

On the American Golf Channel feed of the Dubai event, the announcers were pretty sure Ernie Els used a hybrid of some sort instead of a 3-wood for his second shot. His post round press conference doesn't answer the question: 

Q. 3-wood on the last?

ERNIE ELS: I had 240 to the last. I mean, it's very in my range. But the gust, as I said, there's a gust that came up and caught it.
Lawrence Donegan reviews the week but seemed to not get the question answered... 
Woods's charge pushed him into second place but the South African could still have forced a play-off with a birdie on the par-five 18th. Instead he hit his second shot into the water and finished with a bogey to drop into third behind the 23-year-old Kaymer, who eagled the same hole for a six-under round of 66 and a 72-hole total of 275, 13 under - one shot behind the winner's 274.

I ask because it would be nice to know if (A) he left 3-wood in the bag as the announcers said and (B) since there is a corporate hospitality structure over the green, it would seem logical to blow it over the green, take your drop and chip back. Or is the chip back to the water too difficult?

"So he's No. 2 in the world rankings now."

By the time you read this they'll be well into round 2 in Dubai, nonetheless an entertaining game story holds up any day of the week. First, Lawrence Donegan reporting on day one for The Guardian:

Not only did he find the middle of the fairway, he did so some 50 yards in front of his playing partners, Colin Montgomerie and Niclas Fasth, great players both but made to look at times like club pros in comparison.

Montgomerie, in particular, bore a look of humiliation. The Scotsman holed a birdie putt on the 4th green - their 13th - to pull level with Woods on four under par, yet took seven shots more than the world No1 over the final five holes. He looked inconsolable afterwards, although he might have been gladdened to hear that Woods enjoyed his company. "There are certain guys I always enjoy playing with and Monty is one of them," Woods said. "He usually drives the ball on a string but he missed a couple today."

Wow, I almost felt bad for Monty there. Nice going Lawrence.

Oh and this priceless:
Poulter's reputation for saying what is on his mind was established long ago - it is what makes him such an appealing figure - so the game's historians are unlikely to dwell too long on this latest furore. One person who is unlikely to forget in a hurry, however, is Tiger Woods, who took time out of his busy schedule to pass comment on Poulter. "So he's No2 in the world rankings now." The world No1 is not a fan of overtly confident players, even those who claim to have been misquoted, and relishes every opportunity to remind them of their station in life.
pga_a_woods_580.jpgMeanwhile Bob Smiley has been sent to Dubai for ESPN.com and files an entertaining take on the sights and sounds. Love the photo that went with the story too (left).
The one rule that no one seems particularly worried about (except for Tiger's caddie Steve Williams) is the fact that almost everyone in the gallery has cameras. And not the little cameras people hide in their pockets in the U.S. I'm talking about big ones with 12-inch zooms. The most egregious rule breaker was the guy next to me on No. 10 who filmed Tiger's tee shot with both his video camera and still camera … at the same time.

But to be fair, what can you expect when the crowd is almost 100 percent tourists? Unlike every other tournament in the world, no one here is actually from Dubai. People from India and England make up most of the crowd, but over the course of the round I pick up German, French, Chinese, even Russian. According to Ali, a Dubai-based Brit I meet along the 13th hole, golf is gaining popularity in Dubai, but at the end of the day most Arabs find golf "completely boring."

The comment reminded me of my taxi driver from the airport. When he asked why I was here, I said, "to watch Tiger Woods," which was met with the surprising answer of "Who?" "Tiger Woods?," I said. And then, not believing I had to add it, "The golfer?" Finally, it clicked. "Ah. Yes," he said, then kept driving. It wasn't exactly the exciting response Nike, Gatorade and Buick expect to be generated by their biggest spokesman.

"The news of an alliance between the Japanese, Asian and Australasian Tours should be another warning to O’Grady."

Alistair Tait points out why the possible union of the Japanese, Asian and Australasian Tours could create a strong rival to the European Tour, when they really all could have been working together. But Lewine Mair reports that everyone may be getting along better soon.

"With the Order of Merit giving way to the 'Race To Dubai'"

sgmair120.jpg I just want to take this moment to apologize to the gang in Ponte Vedra for ever implying that you ever sell naming rights in tacky fashion.

Because after reading the slew of stories covering the European Tour's Monday announcement of a new sponsor--scooped a week ago by Lawrence Donegan--it really is hard to imagine a more dramatic whoring sell-out by the Euro Tour. Oh, and by the way, what rich coverage from the various writers who made it to Dubai, reportedly on the European Tour's dime. Or Leisurecorp's? Or, well, they're one and the same now.

The Principal, who did not accept a free trip, naturally has a less than positive take on the news.

From Lewine Mair's Telegraph story:

The man who wins the inaugural Dubai World Championship, which is to take place at the Jumeirah Golf Estates from Nov 19-22, 2009, could make off with a cool £1.8 million. Aside from a winner's cheque of £800,000 from a £4.9 million prize-fund, which will make the championship the richest individual tournament in the game, he could also bag the top prize of £975,000 from a bonus pool worth another £4.9 million.

And how about his buried item:

Aside from the Dubai World Championship and the bonus pool, Leisurecorp will construct an international headquarters for the European Tour in the city which will take in a centre of excellence. Again, the Tour will combine with the company to create a global property operation to develop new tournament venues around the world.

Isn't that special?

James Corrigan notes the improvement with a traditional calendar year schedule:

With an overall prize pot of almost £10m, the Dubai World Championship will replace the Volvo Masters as the grand finale to the campaign – which will now run, blessedly, from January to November instead of October to October – with the Order of Merit giving way to the "Race To Dubai".

Douglas Lowe speculates that Tiger may be enticed to join the European Tour so he can spend even more time enjoying life in bucolic Dubai:

Woods, through his management company IMG, has already inquired what would be involved to join the club and he is not far away from meeting requirements which, critically, involves playing in 11 European Tour events, or 10 plus the new season-ender that will be limited to the top 60 in the order of merit that will be renamed Race to Dubai.

With major and world golf championships counting as co-sanctioned events, Woods starts off with seven. Add in tournaments like the HSBC Champions in which he played last year and the Dubai Desert Classic and he is just one short. The rules may even change as the European Tour's influential players committee are meeting in January in Abu Dhabi to discuss the rule of 11, although it is believed a reduction is not on the agenda.

John Hopkins pretty much (I think) finds the whole thing hard to fathom:

The $1.66 million that will go to the winner of the Dubai World Championship in 2009 and the $2m that a golfer will receive for winning what we now know as the Order of Merit but will be renamed The Race To Dubai at the same time undeniably add up to loads of dosh, much moolah and all that. But to win the bounty for TRTD the golfer will have had to compete very successfully on the European Tour for the previous year. And to win the DBC he will have to play very well for 72 holes in November 2009. It might be a lot of money that he is receiving but that is a lot of golf, too.

And...

Has the world gone mad? How many more nurses could be employed if a fraction of that sum was diverted into the National Health. How many more teachers? How many more doctors?

Market forces, as well as a good any other things, were present at the Burj Al Arab hotel in Dubai when the Dubai World Championship and TRTD were announced on Monday. A burly Australian with an accent you could cut with a knife spoke of his pleasure at being able to announce that his company was investing $200m dollars in these two events and a few others and said that though the investment was for five years initially it would probably be extended to ten years. And George O'Grady, executive director of the European Tour, spoke of his pleasure at being able to announce two such whopping events as the DWC and TRTD.

Norman Dabell features this gem of a quote from George O'Grady:

"With the combined prize funds of the Dubai World Championship and The Race to Dubai we have the prospect of a player standing over a putt for $3,666,660.

And you thought deferred compensation was tricky to explain.

Speaking of The Road To Dubai, Lawrence Donegan, who does not appear to have accepted the complimentary junket to file from Dubai, puts things in perspective by considering those who build the roads.

The fanfare will sound next Monday when the European tour officially announces it will be staging the most lucrative golf tournament in the history of the game. Twenty million dollars (£10m) at stake over four days on a course in Dubai. Nice work if you can get it, or at least nicer work than the work done by the immigrant labourers in the so-called "world's greatest tourist destination" who went on strike last week in support of a claim that would see their wages rise from £52 a month to £79.

The good news is the labourers got their rise. The bad news they returned to a life - to quote the 2006 Human Rights Watch report Building Towers, Cheating Workers - of "wage exploitation, indebtedness to unscrupulous recruiters and working conditions that are hazardous to the point of being deadly".

No doubt the European tour would object to any suggestion that its willingness to accept the backing of the United Arab Emirates government for a $20m tournament is an endorsement of the kind of practices, unchecked by the very same government, described in the Human Rights Watch report.

Enjoyed this too. Score another one for Greg's brand.

Even if direct culpability could be established, it would be unfair to single out the European tour alone for criticism. Only this week Greg Norman turned up in Dubai to launch the Greg Norman Limited Edition Range Rover Sport - given away free to those who purchase one of the 66 luxury homes at the "Fireside by Greg Norman" estate. "Dubai has put itself on the map as the ultimate destination for golf and residence," declared the Great White Property Shark. Poor Greg, he probably thinks Human Rights Watch is a limited-edition timepiece.

“Maybe 20 million isn’t so much after all.”

Brian Hewitt scored an exclusive "one-on-one" with the PGA Tour Commish and as you can see by the breadth and length of the Finchem quotes, it probably occurred when they ran into each other at the World Golf Hall of Fame induction ceremony buffet line. One fun highlight pertaining to Lawrence Donegan's Dubai-$20-million-purse exclusive from last week:
Regardless, $20 million is a staggering sum to play for in one week. “The world of golf’s going to change massively in the next few years,” said one highly-placed European source with knowledge of the Dubai deal.
 
But maybe $20 million is not so staggering when you consider that the six gulf countries of Saudi Arabia, Qatar, Oman, Kuwait, Bahrain and the United Arab Emirates have made a reported $1.5 trillion from oil in the last four years. That’s $1.5 trillion as in a 15 followed by 11 zeroes.
 
PGA TOUR Commissioner Tim Finchem said he was “delighted” at the reported size of the purse because, he said, the compensation levels for the world’s top golfers still “trail” those of athletes in the major team sports.
 
As to the $1.5 trillion figure, Finchem cracked, “maybe 20 million isn’t so much after all.”

"I thought hitting the fairway was part and parcel of golf. Silly me."

Lawrence Donegan talks to Andrew Coltart about his struggles with distance and the flogging approach to course setup.

"When I played with Tiger he was a brilliant player but he was also very physically imposing, so I went away and tried to work on hitting the ball further. That was 1999. We're now in 2007 and I'm still trying to get more distance," he said. "If I don't try and hit the ball further, the way technology is going I'm going to be left way behind."

The truth is that Coltart, now 37, whose trip to tour school comes after his failure to make the top 115 in the 2007 European tour order of merit, may already have been left behind. Last year he was 181st in driving distance, hitting the ball 268 yards on average - a full 40 yards behind the longest hitters. In the Italian Open in the summer he had to play a five-wood shot into the green on seven of the first nine holes.

"How the hell can I get a five-wood shot close to the hole consistently? If I'd shot two under par I would have done really well - the winning score was 16 under par," he said sarcastically. "I don't want this to come over as bitterness but I feel technology has allowed guys to prosper who 15 years ago wouldn't have been able to make a penny. But because of technology and the way the courses are set up they are going to do really well.

"A guy might be able to dunt the ball 260 yards down the middle but that guy is constantly being outdone because the bigger hitter - the animal, for the want of a better expression - hits it 330 yards and it doesn't matter if he is in the rough because he has only got a wedge in his hands for his next shot. And the greens are saturated, so whatever he can lob up on to the green is just going to plug and stop somewhere near the flag.

"There is one statistic that is very curious to me - you have guys who are 150th in driving accuracy yet are 10th in greens in regulation. How can that be right? I thought hitting the fairway was part and parcel of golf. Silly me."

Interesting to note that he doesn't seem optimistic that a change in grooves will help him reverse his fortunes. 

The World Tour...Is Here?

Several interesting stars aligned Thursday to form what seems to be the makings of a "World Tour" in...Europe. Well, and maybe Asia. And Dubai.

Jim Gorant recaps the wacky week in Singapore and how it overshadowed the PGA Tour, while Lawrence Donegan reveals that the good folks in Dubai are ponying up even more money.

Details are to be announced in Dubai later this month but the Guardian has learned that the event, to round off the 2009 season, will have a prize fund of $10m (£4.95m) for the tournament itself with the other half to be divided as "bonus" money among the highest-ranked players at the end of the 2009 season.

Donegan also blogs about the European Tour's efforts to expand and offers this:

Beyond that there is the strong possibility the tour will change its name - a move that meets with the approval of another of the big names in European golf, Guy Kinnings, Montgomerie's manager and head of IMG's European golf division. "The name 'European Tour' has definitely got some value but in the long term it remains to been seen whether it is really necessary to keep it, especially if the tour is travelling more and more around the globe."

I guess the only question I'd ask is, what's taken so long?

"We want to give them a solid option, where they have a choice and don't have to go to America if they don't want to."

John Huggan turns on his tape recorder and lets George "I'm prone to pissing people off" O'Grady share the European Tour's scheduling philosophy. And there are a few other jabs, including one at the President's Cup.

"We are looking at where we have really good courses, really good climates and a lot of money available," he continues. "Those are the areas we will be focusing on. We will shortly be announcing some of the things we are doing in 2009, at which time it will be obvious where we are headed. We will be looking to create clusters of tournaments that are attractive to the global players. We want to give them a solid option, where they have a choice and don't have to go to America if they don't want to."

While that is as much as O'Grady is prepared to say on the subject at this stage, the smart money is on the Middle East tournaments - those in Abu Dhabi, Qatar and Dubai - moving from their current early-season slots to somewhere near the end. China, too, is sure to figure large in the newly reconfigured European line-up.

"By the end of 2009 the new framework will be well established," reveals O'Grady. "It will be very clear what we are trying to do, although we will still have some work to do. I don't think we will ever have the schedule exactly the way we want it, so it is hard to put a time on how long it will take us to get there. We have to be aware of the whole world."

And on the Cups... 

"The American players are all very committed to the Ryder Cup," contends O'Grady, whose lack of cynicism on this subject is hardly shared by all informed observers. "There is such passion for the event. And the tension on the first tee is comparable to Sunday afternoon at a major championship. When Tiger Woods arrived on the first tee at the K Club last year, he was really tight. That tee-shot he hit into the lake was indicative of that.

"The Presidents Cup is very different. I sat on the first tee there this year and it was all very nice. There was plenty of banter and everyone was friendly. In contrast, you daren't speak on the first tee at the Ryder Cup.

"So I think the players would let the PGA Tour know if they needed a bigger gap between the Fed-Ex Cup and the Ryder Cup. But the Ryder Cup is far more important to me than it is to Tim Finchem. I'm not sure how aggravating he finds it that we are involved in the Ryder Cup and the PGA Tour is not, other than sharing a bit in the television revenue.

"If you take the view that whatever the PGA Tour does regarding the Ryder Cup is for the benefit of its membership, then it is a benevolent dictatorship. I don't think what has been done with the Fed-Ex Cup was done to hurt the Ryder Cup; it is merely a by-product."

"Nice event, good fun, but no integrity," was the widely held view.

John Huggan says Ernie Els' resounding win combined with the lack of IMG star power actually may do wonders for the World Match Play and certainly felt more worldly than the PGA Tour's WGC events:
Over the 43 years of its existence and through as many as half a dozen disparate title sponsors from Piccadilly to Colgate to Suntory to Toyota to Cisco to HSBC -- with another on the way -- the World Match Play Championship at Wentworth has been accused of many things, most of them relating to the tournament founder, the late Mark McCormack, packing the field with his own IMG clients.

In truth, Mr. Ten Percent was an easy target, as was his Cleveland-based company's acronym. "IM Greedy" was a popular alternative, as was "International Money Grabbers," with neither barb, of course, by extension doing anything for the World Match Play's standing in the game. "Nice event, good fun, but no integrity," was the widely held view.

But that was then. With a quantifiable and public qualifying system in place nowadays, this long-standing autumnal event has grown in both stature and credibility. Take this year. Of the four semifinalists, only one, Hunter Mahan, pays a percentage of his earnings to IMG, a point worth making in an event offering golf's biggest first prize, a cool £1 million. And even better, eliminating any hint of blatant bias seems to have brought with it a greater diversity, too. Not only were the final four all from different countries, each hailed from a different continent: Ernie Els from Africa, Angel Cabrera from South America, Mahan from North America and Henrik Stenson from Europe.

Such a cosmopolitan lineup has to be commended in a so-called "world" event, even if, with only 16 starters, there remains an air of exhibitionism about the proceedings. And let's not get into the fact that with the arrival of the WGC-Accenture World Match Play Championship that features the planet's best 64 players, the global claim of this event's title is, if one is honest, more than a little dubious.