Oh, To Be A Subscriber, Vol. 1

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Regular readers of this site may know of my personal struggle to receive golf publications in a reasonable amount of time. Or at all.

logo_golfweek.gifOver the years customer service reps have insisted that the late service is caused by my choosing to live in the far west, or because of nearby postal delivery personnel mysteriously choosing my Golf World or Golfweek to read.

Even Golfdom usually arrives at the end of the month it was intended to arrive. That's a solid 2-3 weeks after east coast readers have sent me their hate email. Frustrating, you know. By then I can't even remember what I wrote that upset them so.

But imagine the shock when I opened my mailbox to find the February 4 issue of Golfweek...on February 2! Lately, the trade publication has been a real favorite of the gang manning the 90403 mail distribution center. Not this week. Maybe it's Tiger fatigue. He's on the cover. (And it's a great issue too).title_progolfweekly_sm2.jpg

Meanwhile, I'm still waiting for my first SI Golf Plus of the new year. After three calls so far, no luck. However, Jamiqua (sp?) dared to go where other customer service reps would not. She has written a note to the distribution plant to find out why they can't get me my beloved Golf Plus. She says I may see a Golf Plus in a couple of weeks.

Golf World, meanwhile has been unusually timely since the new year.  As in, arriving the week of its publication date.

I know you all feel so much better knowing all of this.

But I'm curious how many others have trouble getting their magazines in the mail?  And if so, does it send you to the internet for more information?  I've set up a thread under the Technology section if you should feel compelled to post on this absolutely vital topic.

Hey Bill, How About A Caddyshack 2?

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Crack questions from a scribbler at the FBR Wednesday after Bill Murray (God only knows why) stopped by the press room after his pro-am round.

Q. With Caddyshack and what it's meant to people, people rate it as the Top 5 sports movies of all time, is there a thought of maybe coming back, let's do it again, let's maybe do a Star Wars theme type of deal?

BILL MURRAY: Do Caddyshack again?

Q. Do a Caddyshack II?

BILL MURRAY: They did a Caddyshack II. It's guys like you that made Caddyshack II.

Q. Revise it one more time with all the technology that's out there.

BILL MURRAY: You know, I'm under a doctor's care (laughter). You know, Caddyshack was a great thing. There were some extraordinary people in it, Ted Knight, Rodney Dangerfield, the guy who played the bishop, these are people who have passed away. They were great people, great actors and lots of fun, and it was an unusual thing. Can't you be happy with having seen it and watched it? You want it again? You're one of those guys that wants to make love twice a week. Once is plenty (laughter).

The Bashers vs. The Artists

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SI's Chris Lewis takes on the Bubba Watson and his eye-opening drives, but instead of focusing on Bubba and what car he drives or what he thinks of yoga, Lewis actually explores the concept of how the game is played (really!). Even more scary? He considers the ramifications.

Lewis says the main 2006 PGA Tour plotline will be "the Bashers vs. the Artists."

Subtitle: In which the ever-growing ranks of PGA Tour dogleg-cutting, tree-flying, dimpled-ball bombardiers finally and forever vanquish the ever-shrinking number of short-hitting, fairway-dwelling, shot-shaping sissies.

Besides Bubba, he looks at other bashers and artists. And he explores why John Holmes changes his Tour name to J.B. 

Reporter: Why go from John B. [Holmes] at Q-school to J.B. [Holmes] here?

Holmes: You know the answer to that.

Dear Media Member...

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This landed in my email box...name, email and phone number deleted to protect the innocent.

Dear media member,
 
We appreciate your consideration to join us on an upcoming media trip to experience first-hand two heralded destinations in Florida's Great Northwest.

This trip ­taking place February 28-March 4, 2006 will showcase the varied offerings of SouthWood in the state capital of Tallahassee, and the WaterColor Inn & Spa, a Small Luxury Hotel of the World member located on the Gulf of Mexico in Seagrove Beach.

Our itinerary includes 36 holes of golf at both SouthWood Golf Club and Camp Creek Golf Club, luxury lodgings, spa treatments, fine dining and VIP box tickets to the Florida State Seminoles vs. Duke Blue Devils basketball game on March 1.

Space for this trip is limited, so please contact us as soon as possible if you are interested.
 
Thank you and best regards,
 
xxxxx xxxxx
XXXXXXX Communications

St. Joe Towns & Resorts
Winter 2006 LUXURY GOLF FAM TRIP, February 28 – March 4
 
SouthWood Golf Club, Tallahassee, FL
www.southwoodflorida.com
Camp Creek Golf Club, Seagrove Beach, FL
www.campcreekflorida.com
The WaterColor Inn & Resort, Seagrove Beach, FL
www.watercolorinn.com
 
About the Courses
 
SouthWood Golf Club -- Opened in Nov. 2002 and located at the heart of the SouthWood development in historic Tallahassee, the Fred Couples/Gene Bates designed SouthWood Golf Club was named one of “America’s Best New Courses” by Golf Digest Magazine. Chosen from more than 500 courses, SouthWood was the only course in Florida to be named in the “Best New Upscale Public” category. Framed by towering live oaks draped in Spanish moss, the course was also named to GOLF Magazine’s prestigious “Top Ten You Can Play” list in 2003.
 
Camp Creek Golf Club/Water Color Inn -- The Tom Fazio-designed Camp Creek Golf Club offers a link-style, “dunescape” experience where rolling fairways, plenty of water and abundant bunkering make for challenging-yet-fun rounds. A member of the elite “Small Luxury Hotels of the World, the luxurious St. Joe’s WaterColor Inn & Spa includes the renowned Fish Out of Water restaurant, a private beach club, extensive exercise facilities, dune walkovers and boardwalks, a lakefront park and the recently opened WaterColor Spa. Camp Creek is rated the no. 8 course you can play in all of Florida by Golfweek and was named the “No. 1 Florida course of the new millennium by T+L Golf.
 

Defending Roy

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A very minor quibble. Adam Barr writes in a New Year's rules resolution column:

DRIVER ENVY. A player shall do his best to strike a decent tee ball without delay occasioned by bragging about the new war stick he or she received for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or Boxing Day. Enforcement of this rule may be waived by the committee, unless the offender uses terms such as “Linda Ronstadt (Blew By You)” or announces loudly that his drive is a monster, even as it lands in ankle-high Kikuyu.

Recently Butch Harmon evoked the eye-roll inducing "Linda Ronstadt (Blew By You)" on the Natalie Gulbis Show (yes, yes I watched the show).

Besides the fact that it's not funny (as Barr is kindly trying to point out without offending his readership), the citation is not accurate.

But if you must use it, that's Blue Bayou, and Roy Orbison wrote the song along with Joe Melson in 1963, and also recorded it to major acclaim. Linda Ronstadt covered it in 1977.

I believe Tim McCarver started this "Blue Bayou" nonsense a few years ago during a baseball telecast.  And I know your day wouldn't be complete without this kind of important insight and clarification.

How Many Credit Cards Do You Have and What Color Are They?

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"The Golf Digest Interview" is typically full of fresh stories and revealing insights. Then there was January's sitdown with Paula Creamer that would have been better suited for pages of Miss Teen. Maybe.

And no, I'm not making this up:

GD: When you turned pro, was your press conference televised?
PC: Um . . . no. I think I had something later on The Golf Channel, but it was nothing like she had.

Do you have any idea how much you're worth?
I have no idea.

No idea?
I don't care about that kind of stuff. I care about my quality of life and money, but I don't know an exact number.

Definitely not $10 million?
No, not $10 million.

Maybe $5 million?
In that area.

Who handles your money?
IMG [International Management Group]. My parents are also involved, but I have a person who handles all of my money.

So if you go to an ATM right now and get cash, what's your available balance?
I've never gotten cash out of a machine. I use my credit cards, so I don't need to do that.

You've never gotten cash out of a machine?
Never. I've watched people, but I've never done it.

Come on! How do you get cash?
My dad, I guess.

How many credit cards do you have?
Three.

What color are they?
I have platinum. I have a new green one, which is pretty cool.

Golf Digest people probably don't get the new green ones.
[Laughs.] I do go to the bank and make withdrawals, but not from those machines.

Do you have a PIN number?
I might have one, but I don't know it. I have a debit card, I think, but I've never used it.

Do you get an allowance?
From who, my parents? No, but I'm trying to learn how much I'll allow myself to spend each month: $4,000, maybe $2,000. I haven't figured out the number yet. It depends on where we play. New York was terrible. That was the week I won for the first time, so I went crazy.

How much a month do you spend on clothes?
Too much. It depends. I can go from $1,000 in a week to $1,000 in a month. It's a lot.


Verdi: Can't Legislate Progress, Next Question

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Bob Verdi asks and answers questions.

Did technology affect golf in 2005?

A tired theme, in our opinion. You can't legislate against progress. The big story in bowling, besides Asbaty, is the new scented ball. You can now collect the 7-10 split with an amaretto ball. In tennis, it was the introduction of a magnetic racket, which instantly returns to its original shape after you hit the ball and which doesn't smell like amaretto. Yet.

So, you're really not worried about emerging technology? 

I worry about technology when I call my bank two blocks away to find out whether a check has cleared and the person who picks up the phone is in New Delhi.

Here was Verdi last year writing about the issue.

Meanwhile, the piece inspired me to to offer a similar question and answer session to myself.

Did technology really impact golf in 2005, or is everyone from Jack Nicklaus to Arnold Palmer to Greg Norman to Tiger Woods suggesting this just to get attention?

A tired theme, in our opinion. You can't ask golf writers to do anything but cover stars on the PGA Tour. I mean, who wants to write about something that requires thought, historical perspective, curiousity, a grasp of science and a concern for ramifications beyond the PGA Tour?

So you're not worried about emerging technology?

Why, I'm a blogger? I'm not the one whose publication arrives in the mail three weeks after the publication date...during the non-holiday season. Or the one who calls customer service to get some Canadian telling me that postal works must be reading my issues.

 

Golf Magazine Sets Multimedia Push

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Thanks to reader Kevin for the heads up on this WSJ story (subscription req.) about Golf Magazine's attempts to diversify.

Basically, they've generated $163.9 million in ad revenue for the first 11 months of the year according to Publishers Information Bureau, but ad pages are off 11.7% while the rest of the industry is down 0.4%. So they are coming up with a $250,000 contest culminating in in two one-hour shows where advertisers will get to push their stuff on TV too. You know, a reverse cross-pollination of synchronized multi-pushbacked brand repurposing initiative.

But here's the interesting part, courtesy of TNS Media Intelligence:

Golf Magazine's top five advertisers of 2005, in millions

Callaway Golf: $8.62

Fortune Brands: $6.11

Honda Motor: $4.0

Nissan Motor: $3.93

Adidas-Salomen: $3.85 
 

Must Cringe TV

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Uh yes, I've watched the first two episodes of Natalie Gulbis's "reality" show after someone suggested I inflict this form of self-torture to help heal my acid reflux. Shoot, I even  TiVo'd it. That's how sick I am.

But won't you be watching Tuesday night when after reading about last week's episode:

Natalie plays a practice round at the Michelob Ultra Open at Kingsmill with Danielle, the winner of The Golf Channel's Big Break 3. [Hey, she's resurfaced!] Natalie & Se Ri Pak shoot the LPGA's new print campaign, "These Girls Rock!" [As captivating as it sounds.] Natalie & fellow LPGA beauty Cristie Kerr spend a day at the spa. [Uh, not as captivating as it sounds.] Natalie, Kelli Kuehne, and Paula Creamer spend the rain delay at Kingsmill playing poker. [Apocalyptic.] Natalie finishes the Michelob Ultra Open T-3, her best finish ever, which still isn't good enough for her father. [A real peach.]

I wonder what Ozzy, err, dad is going to do? 

Do watch the Gulbis show at least once just to see what kind of intense dialogue and layered plots you're missing. Natalie does look amazing in a bathing suit, unfortunately we barely saw her in it during episode two. The cold Malibu wind required her to parade around in robe. If she had done the calendar shoot today, it was 71 and clear, with a light breeze...oh sorry. Remember you East Coasters, you get to enjoy the seasons.

Who Invited Golf Digest?

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From the New York Post...

Christmas came early this year.

No, not the lighting of the Rockefeller Center tree but the elite luncheon of the top editors, publishers and executives who work for billionaire S.I. Newhouse Jr. inside the glitzy Condé Nast publishing empire.

This year's extravaganza at the posh Four Seasons restaurant was the first to stretch beyond Condé Nast's traditional top-bracket titles such as Vogue, Vanity Fair, GQ, Glamour and The New Yorker, to include the less prestigious titles of its Fairchild group, home to Jane and W, and the more pedestrian Golf Digest Companies.