"She stopped playing golf soon after I introduced her to the game and decided she would rather eat cookies and tacos as a sport."

Thanks to reader Steve for this ebay post break-up rant/sale listing. Warning, some R-rated imagery here.

You Can Call Me Al

Reader Peter J. was perusing GolfLink.com and caught this course listing. Now, I understand typos as someone who has mastered the art, but this one looks like a silly GolfClubAtlas DG log in name.

The 18-hole "Ardsley" course at the Ardsley Country Club facility in Ardsley On Hudson, New York features 6,522 yards of golf from the longest tees for a par of 72. The course rating is 72.3 and it has a slope rating of 131 on Bent grass.  Designed by Willie Dunn, Jr./(R) Al Stermakenzie, the Ardsley golf course opened in 1895. John Brisson manages the course as the General Manager.

Al Stermakenzie is actually Ali G speak for Alister MacKenzie, no? 

IM'ing With The Commissioners, Vol. VII

My friends at the NSA have been waiting for LPGA Tour Commissioner Carolyn Bivens to return from the Solheim Cup, knowing that an inevitable instant message chat with the PGA Tour's Tim Finchem would take place after all of the FedEx Cup excitement died down. Previous chats are here, here, here, here, here and here).

twfPGATour©: Carolyn, are you there?

DaBrandLady: hi tim! wow, you never say hi first. what's wrong?

twfPGATour©: Well, the usual stuff.  More importantly, how about that product Sunday?

DaBrandLady: i know, who would have though morgan would beat annika!!!!!!

twfPGATour©:  Oh.

twfPGATour©: No, I meant the conclusion to the PLAYOFFS©

DaBrandLady: oh right. you know i tito'd it and was going to watch it this week after i got caught up.

twfPGATour©: Well it was pretty spectacular, even though Tiger chose not to embrace certain platform dynamics that we had outlined in the witty and truly spectacular FedEx Cup creative that ran in the first quarter of this year.

DaBrandLady: what, he didn't whistle eye of the tiger?

twfPGATour©: No, that was the third quarter creative. I was referring to the ingenious "Who will be the first to kiss the Cup" line from our friends at GDS&M.

DaBrandLady: you mean GSD&M?

twfPGATour©: Right! Always get that mixed up.

DaBrandLady: here's what i think. it's tiger's loss that he didn't embrace the brand momentum! especially since your prediction came true that the events would be "the most impactful series of events in the history of the sport."

twfPGATour©: Thanks Carolyn. Yes, I must say they were pretty special. And thanks for putting that in quotes.

DaBrandLady: anytime. speaking of impactful tim. are you a milk of magnesia man?

twfPGATour©: No, I eat a spinach salad every day when I'm here at headquarters and I really nurse the flax seed oil when I'm on the road. Family history with IBS.

DaBrandLady: you mean ubs? they did some nice stat work for us at the evian masters and we're really hoping to sign them up for an account in the fourth quarter of this year, preferably for something on the domestic schedule.

twfPGATour©: No, no, IBS, irritable bowel syndrome.

DaBrandLady: oh, sorry.

twfPGATour©: Well I've been lucky so far. And thankfully, I'm not one of players, it looks like one of the IBS drugs may be on our banned list.

DaBrandLady: oh how's that coming along tim? i'm anxious to see what you guys do with tetrahydrogestrinone and modafinil.

twfPGATour©: Big announcement Thursday. Email Ty. He'll get you in on the conference call if you'd like.

DaBrandLady: well, good luck with the testosterone issues.

twfPGATour©: I'm not having any problems. Did someone say I was?

DaBrandLady: oh tim, it's always about you!

DaBrandLady: i was talking about the testing for steroids and measuring rises in testosterone levels.

twfPGATour©: We are testing to detect the T/E ratio on testosterone to epitestosterone, drawing the line at 8:1

DaBrandLady: oh no, you have to go 6:1. you also have to subject the urine samples to gas chromatography and mass spectrometry

twfPGATour©: is that where they heat the product to turn it into gases so they can separate and analyze the molecular levels?

DaBrandLady: that's the one. characteristic “signatures” will betray the presence of banned substances every time.

twfPGATour©: Jeese. Most of our guys didn't understand deferred compensation, I can't imagine the player meetings on performance enhancing drugs.

DaBrandLady: but just think tim, this testing does so much for our brand positioning and upward integrity streaming.

twfPGATour©: That's right, just what I told the sponsors in a conference call today.

twfPGATour©: I need to run Carolyn.

DaBrandLady: the UBS acting up?

twfPGATour©: No, but close. Phil Mickelson on line two. Give my best to, uh...

DaBrandLady: he says hi back!

It's The Dimples!

Thanks to reader Graeme for this:

AUSTRALIAN golf great Peter Thomson has suggested golf balls should be redesigned to harness the distance they are being hit by pros and amateurs. In an article in the Australian Financial Review last week Thomson suggested the solution lies in the ball’s dimples. Ten years ago, testers found that the greater the area of the ball covered by dimples, the more aerodynamically effective it became and the better it performed in cross winds. They changed the dimple pattern to cover 100 percent of the ball. “If we restricted the dimple pattern to cover 40 percent or 50 percent of the ball, it would return the distance of the drive to 250 yards [228.6 metres],” says Thomson. “This would also reduce the incidence of balls flying over fences into neighbouring houses and onto roads.” The rules of golf state that every golf ball must comply with three things: its weight must not be greater than 1.62 ounces, its diameter must not be less than 1.68 inches and its initial velocity, when fired from a testing cannon, must not be greater than 250 feet (76.2 metres) per second. Manufacturers have been able to tinker with the ball’s cover, internal composition and dimple pattern to comply with these rules, and yet still get greater distance.

It can't be good for the USGA that one of the R&A's biggest supporters isn't talking up the grooves.  

"Maybe now he'll start leaving decent tips."

Gary Van Sickle hands out FedEx Cup awards, including this one for Tiger:

Jed Clampett Award: The richest man in golf is Woods. He won seven times in 16 appearances and cleared $10 million for the year. At the Tour Championship, he snagged $1.26 million for the tournament victory and the famously deferred $10 million for capturing the FedEx Cup title. Maybe now he'll start leaving decent tips.

Meanwhile Doug Ferguson lauds the FedEx Cup's success and examines the problems with various "tweaks" to the Cup, including one that I initially thought was an essential fix. Now I'm not so sure the field sizes should change if the points volatility is improved, as expected.

Furyk offered the most comical assessment by noting that 125 players keep their cards, but 144 players start the playoffs. But the season began with 225 exempt players, so actually only 64 percent made the playoffs.

The biggest problem with this solution is that short fields make for dull tournaments and a lousy experience for the fans. Consider the 70-man field at Cog Hill, where an entire day of golf was over in six hours. There has to be consideration given to the tournament and its fan base. Plus, it's harder to win against a larger field.

The limited field events really are getting old, not because Tiger always wins them, but because you sense they might introduce more leaderboard competition as we saw at the first two playoff events. 

Drug Testing To Be Announced Thursday?

From Doug Ferguson's notes column:

The PGA TOUR will make it official this week that it will have a drug policy in 2008.
 
Golf has been under increasing pressure to come up with a policy against performance-enhancing drugs, and PGA TOUR commissioner Tim Finchem said earlier this year that while there is no evidence of steroids, drug testing in sports has become a reality and it was prudent for all golf organizations to deal with them collectively.
 
"I think we're at a point where to maintain confidence in the public and the fans, we have to take this step, even though there's great speculation about the extent to which substances can help you in this game," Finchem said two weeks ago in Boston.
 
A conference call to discuss the policy was planned as early as Thursday, although it was not clear what Finchem would announce. He has said any policy would start with an education plan and a list of banned substances, although testing might not begin until at least the second half of next year.

Any Bad Restorations?

MacKenzie or Nicklaus? (click to enlarge this fine piece of work by the La Habra and Minneapolis art departments)I finally had a chance to sit down with Ron Whitten's Golf World column on restoration, and while his early statements are pretty negative regarding the restoration movement, the remainder of the piece and Whitten's positive portrayal of Kris Spense's work in the same issue softens the blow considerably.

I'm curious if anyone has heard of a classic course that chose to undertake a restoration using as much historical information as possible with minimal modification to original design concepts, and come away from that process unhappy that they did so?

Yes, there are always going to be unhappy members, but I'm wondering about an entire restoration-driven project that was considered a mistake.

To put it another way, has anyone undertaken a serious attempt at restoration that came back a few years later and went with a modern design redesign that was considered an improvement?
 

"They're mediocre, lack subtlety and require a one-dimensional aerial game.”

In his weekly golf column, Tod Leonard highlights portions of Bradley Klein's recent Golfweek review of Torrey Pines.

With Torrey Pines South on the clock for the 2008 U.S. Open, the reviews of the course are going to be more discerning, and in some cases, more critical. Golfweek architecture writer Bradley S. Klein fired the first harsh salvo last week with a critique subtitled, “I thought U.S. Open courses were supposed to be special.”

Among Klein's thoughts:

“Torrey Pines has come a long way and is in far better management hands than it ever has been. But all of the changes there for the 2008 U.S. Open cannot mask an underlying truth about the monotonous structure of the golf holes. They're mediocre, lack subtlety and require a one-dimensional aerial game.”

“The USGA formula for Open setups – added length, narrow fairways, deep rough – is anathema to everyday golf. It also makes for boring championship play by reducing the game to one dimension. That's more prevalent at a simple layout like Torrey Pines South that has little fairway contour and no diversity of angles off the tee.”

“For everyday players, it's a slog. And for premier golfers, it's a game with little strategy, because favoring the safe side to those tucked pins still leaves a favorable uphill putt.”

“So why Torrey Pines South for a U.S. Open? No surprise here: It has to do with logistics, since a 36-hole facility is ideal for staging all the infrastructure. And because taking the national championship to a true municipal layout is the right thing to do politically. “But let's not get carried away by mistaking site election here for a branding of quality.”

Another Castle Stuart Video

The previous making of videos for Scotland's Castle Stuart resort are posted here, here, here and here. Volume 5 looks at the heather "chunking" work taking place. That does not sound very interesting, I know, but it's the best one yet, especially in showing how little about this natural looking links style course is shaping up to be quite...natural.Oh, and I have no idea who the fellow is who is talking throughout the video.

FedEx Cup Post Mortems

Consensus seems to be building that it was all worth it, and now it's on to the major tweaking.

Steve Campbell offers solutions. Mark Lamport Stokes takes it all in and seems to come away impressed.

Dave Fairbank offers his tweaks. And Bob Verdi raises this point:

What's more intriguing is what he is saying in private to FedEx, Barclays, Deutsche Bank, BMW and the TV networks. Very important executives with those companies made very expensive decisions to fund the playoff, ostensibly on the assumption that all the best golfers were to play all the time. How could these CEOs be surprised when it didn't materialize? When Finchem was asked whether he guaranteed corporate angels that Tiger and Phil were on board, he replied, "you never can." Bingo. One wonders whether he told sponsors that during his sales pitch.

Update on 2007-09-18 14:50 by Geoff

Tod Leonard weighs in with an analysis of various areas in need of tweaking and says the deferred compensation issue appears to be the least of the FedEx Cup concerns. Jeff Shain also reviews what needs fixing, focusing on scheduling and points volatility (or lack of).

“He hasn’t hit a practice ball since the British Open"

Doug Ferguson wonders if this is the best Tiger Woods has ever played and reports, thanks to the ever-pleasant Stevie, that Tiger is hitting the ball so well he has not hit a post-round practice ball since Carnoustie.

Tilly Journal 2

The second Tillinghast Journal has been posted at Tillinghast.net.

The Wie's Of Palo Alto

Mark Soltau reports that Michelle Wie has arrived at Stanford, playing nine holes on the remnants of George Thomas and Billy Bell's 1930 Stanford GC design. She was accompanied by her parents, who have rented a house nearby.

Oh yeah, that sounds fun.

Tour Championship Ratings Skyrocket Thanks To Tiger and Phil...

...not up showing last year!

From Sports Business Daily:

NBC earned a 3.3/7 overnight Nielsen rating for the final round the the Tour Championship, the final leg of the inaugural Playoffs for the FedEx Cup,  from 1:30-6:00pm yesterday, up 200.0% from a 1.1/2 overnight rating for the Tour Championship in '06, which aired in early November on ABC from 1:00-5:00pm.  Tiger Woods won yesterday's event to clinch the FedEx Cup title.  Woods did not play in last year's Tour Championship.  Saturday's third-round coverage earned a 2.8/7 overnight from 2:00-6:00pm, up 86.7% from a 1.5/3 overnight on ABC last year from 3:30-7:00pm.  During the same weekend last year, ESPN aired coverage of the 84 Lumber Classic, and overnights were not available.

And who said there were no benefits to them skipping the 2006 finale?

"In the end it was just too easy at Easy Lake."

Based on the link, I believe this is Jim Moriarty's East Lake/Tour Championship game story for Golf World.

Besides evaluating the FedEx Cup as somewhat of a success, he writes:

In the end it was just too easy at Easy Lake. Poor Bobby Jones must have been weeping somewhere for the honor of his home course. Rain Thursday turned the greens from semi-dirt to soft dirt, and Tim Clark, one of the 24 non-competing markers in the field, tied the then course record on a rain-interrupted day with an eight-under-par 62, highlighted by a pitch-in for eagle on the 15th. The real rain, the remnants of Hurricane Humberto, was scheduled to hit Friday, but the worst of it took the I-285 bypass around Atlanta, and it was Woods who reigned instead.

In a six-hole stretch from the fourth through the ninth holes, Woods went seven under par for a front-nine 28 and felt pretty darn bad about it, too. He holed a bunker shot from a semiburied lie on the fifth and made a 70-footer for eagle at the ninth. "The ball was bouncing every which way. It was left of the hole, it was right of hole, left of the hole, right of the hole, and then it went in," he said. No fist pumps or finger-pointing this time, just a bowed head and a sheepish "gee-I'm-sooooo-sorry-about-that-guys" grin.

And skipping a bit...

Easy Lake, formidable only when someone drove it in the wet Bermuda rough, was so defenseless that through 36 and 54 holes only two of the 30 players were over par. It really bared its gums in the third round, however, when Johnson's 60 and Geoff Ogilvy's 62 were proof that even though the slow, soft greens were bad, they weren't unputtable.

Now I understand the situation with the greens.

But did this tournament also serve as a reminder that extreme, even outlandish measures would be necessary to keep a land-locked venue like East Lake relevant in today's game where a 6-iron is some players' 210-yard club and 3-woods carry 300? 

Now I know our friends Bacon and Grease over at Golf Digest think that it's okay for classics to become irrelevant, because you simply move to another venue that's 7,600 yards. But considering all that has been invested in East Lake and will be invested soon with the greens resodding, should there be some discussion at PGA Tour headquarters about the long term viability of this venue? And dare I say, some discussion about possibly asking the USGA when it's ball study will be wrapping up?

I sure don't see a U-groove ban making East Lake more relevant no matter how firm the new greens get, do you?